Is the Africa Cup of Nations only being shown live on Eurosport, i.e. a service I don't have? I only possess Freeview and can't find even a highlights show. I'm doubly bummed because today's game finished 4-4 between Angola and Mali - it sounded like a corker. I remember when it was on the BBC, and ...

susanph1985 wrote:"Creepy Uncle"

HA HA HA! That's a little off the mark, at least it would be if you said that at my school. Basically, a wank with your non-dominant hand was called a "Creepy Uncle", due to the unfamiliar and slightly awkward sensation of performing the act.

Meanwhile, QPR are starting to resemble a pub team and Exeter City are perilously close to the drop. Considering that two seasons ago they were in the Blue Square Premier, I don't think it'd be a disaster to drop back to League Two. Getting in League One was a hell of an achievement. My home town si...

Can I also add here that when I had a potential heart scare, the scans cost me zero. When I have had sexual health checks, the cost to me is zero. My trip to the emergency ward after I collapsed playing soccer was zero, as was the physiotherapy I received after fracturing my ankle. Of course it wasn...

BANE: A good question, as it is not one that is easily answered. In short, we pay for the NHS through our National Insurance Contribution, but this is no simple tax. For a start, this pays for health, unemployment and child benefit, alongside the state pension. There are various bands related to ear...

For fear of repeating myself, allow someone who lives in a country with public and private health insurance to explain how it works. In the UK, we are automatically guaranteed treatment by the National Health Service free at point of demand. This is partly funded by a tax called National Insurance, ...

saracapri wrote:I'm not offended, but I also would not go for a younger guy. 20 something guys are pretty annoying and immature. I also hardly ever find a really young guy to be physically attractive.

To paraphrase YannickRulz77, "I resent/resemble that comment."

I am 24 years old and have had many of my best experiences with women who were older than me. As for my musician credentials, well, I'm a legend in my own bedroom (sadly, for not the reasons you'd probably admire).

Though Obama's track record on domestic affairs is, from a centre-left point of view, disappointing to say the least I think my American brethren on Sludge should be proud of your president as an international figurehead. Whilst Bush 'n' Blair were very much buddies, the rest of Europe barely hid th...

Fender_baller wrote:I've got it good for a 20 year old. Specially when I'm hott and rolling in the pussy.

Are you the illegitimate love-child of Michael Hott? I always thought he was one of a CAAWWW!

Forgive me, as I hail from a land of socialised medicine, but I don't understand something. Over here we have a shortage too, but I guess we can blame the government on this one because they are ultimately responsible for the operational capacity of the National Health Service. The NHS is entirely a...

I am actually of Jake's mindset here, whereby if you wish to live in another country you should make the attempt to learn the language at the very least. Failing to do so can have degrees of repercussions; at best, you're just some asshole in Sweden, speaking English because every fucker can. Somewh...

I hope some of you tossers are noticing some of the results further down the football pyramid. Amazingly, my hometown club Bournemouth is top of League 2, despite a tiny squad, no money and a transfer embargo. They have the youngest manager in the English professional game and still rely on 37 year-...

I, too, work in the healthcare sector though ours is markedly different from the American model. Essentially, my job security is dictated by the allocation of government funding. Right now my position is looking precarious, especially if the rule of "last in, first out" applies. Funding, i...

There's nothing like watching a heavily-muscled athletic coach owning an autistic soda addict regarding the finer points of internet browsing. God bless you, Metal Sludge.

ColaZombie can suck a dick - sure, he's entertaining in the same way that Rain Man is, but he can also be a ginormous tool. His stellar aphorisms are the only thing that has saved him from outright ridicule.

HeavyMetalZombie666 wrote:It is because I am heterosexual. I sleep with beautiful women.

And yet still enjoy the texture of a penis caressed between your fingertips? Well, they do say variety is the spice of life.

ColaZombie, you've been getting a bit uptight of late. You're very defensive about that captioned picture that gets posted, and you're moving into wingnut territory on the War Board.

If I were you, I'd take some time out, just relax and do stuff you enjoy doing. Like touching penis.

Fuck all this top four shit, QPR finally got their first win of the season and did so in the grim environs of Scunthorpe. Time to kick on and challenge for that fourth place Champions League spot.

This must be GoodGirls or Rutzey? Personally, I still believe, deep down, that Rutzey was or is GoodGirls. However, this guy reeks of being a basement-dwelling KISS-obsessed virgin with the mental tenacity of half an earthworm. Is it a stretch to suggest that he may now and again sport a pillow-case...

http://images.football365.com/09/07/Others/331268.jpg First off, who is this guy? This picture's been up on Football365 and I am going nuts trying to identify this presumably very famous footballer. Secondly, Lofty - after QPR (who have been in the financial doldrums themselves) I follow Exeter Cit...

I am happy that some girls here have admitted that they defer to looks first, but equally happy that some kind of personality seems to be a priority. I guess I have had to compensate a little, what with being short and looking nothing like Keanu Reeves (two problems Burgundytrash never has to deal w...

Come on, be honest - just how much of a priority is this when it comes to what you're looking for in a guy? Don't worry, this isn't a cris-de-coeur because of my own circumstances (I have a girlfriend). Were I single, though, I think I face an uphill battle against other guys, because; 1) Often you ...

Shamefully, last week I saw Chinatown for the first time. What an excellent film, I rarely give anything the full 10/10 but this time I think I've seen a flick that deserves it. It's my favourite Jack Nicholson role, and I think Faye Dunaway and John Huston are both superlatively cast. Agreed with t...

I've got Stephen Stills and "Ross The Boss" Funicello of the Dictators (and Manowar, but let's forget about that). I also share it with the antipodean anti-semite Mel Gibson.

You know when you were in kindergarten, and you played around with modelling clay? And you were trying to make an owl, or a lizard or whatever, but all you could conjure up was an indistinct blob of questionable structural integrity?

You just made uptheass.

And you're still acting like an asshurt little crybaby about your fucking pre-school trauma. My goodness, you're such a little bitch, and your reasoning is so fucked up. I hope euthanasia laws come into being and that they extend to putting you out of your misery. Thus far, we have learnt; 1) That y...

Just so ya know though, just because someone has an opinion other than the one you believe, doesn't mean that they're "douching up a thread". According to him and most of his ilk, if you don't tickle their assholes with your tongue and spout off the same boring liberal bullshit, you're an...

Thanks for the lovely comments. Seeing as the subject of this piece rarely, if ever, ventures to Hatas I thought I'd send him a PM to alert him to the fact that he has been immortalised. My PM was titled "Fuckface", and merely contained a link to the piece signed "your pal, Cliff.&quo...

AT EASE, SGT. HYMEN! You could've headed this off completely had you a) spent more time on reading comprehension and b) possessed a relatively stable personality that does not respond to baiting. This pretty much began when you started accusing Grandpa Mummy (aka Timhotep, aka Tim Mirror, aka Itwalk...