Bobby Blotzer = piece of shit

[Midwestmetalgod]

This thread is so full of win.

[ParaDime77]

22 pages of a future Dateline NBC episode!

[Turner Coates]

[Bianca]

[NeverSurrender]

[alleyrulez]

FUCK YEAH!!!!

[dmbrocker]

Film at eleven!

[SeminiferousButtNoid]

Baldtzer, we know you are reading this thread. Don't be afraid to post in here and defend your good name.

[Turner Coates]

Maybe he's a chickenshit as well as all the other stuff.

[Luminiferous]

Looks like the whiny little bitch is scared now he's publicly posting on his facebook about Bobby and if anything happens to him wah wah wah blah blah blah

Notice the Meathead has no problem with his "best friend" leaving drunken threatening messages, but the other guy is the whiny bitch...


It's a good thing Blobster doesn't care about any of this or he could really use up his calling plan....

[grishnak boss]

[Funnelhead]

Ah shit man, we are dying over here!

[ParaDime77]

I never thought there would be a time in my life when I would want to rush home for lunch or get off of work early to read something related to Bobby fucking Blotzer.

[Heenan Snuka]

I never thought there would be a time in my life when I would want to rush home for lunch or get off of work early to read something related to Bobby fucking Blotzer.

[That-guy]

How the fuck did I miss this thread? Hey Bobby Blotzer...

FUCK YOU, YOU BALD TALENTLESS PRICK!

[User61585]

I've been waiting for a shining moment to share this gem... Bobby hired a production company to film an intro for his new band's gigs. I have a copy of the story board and it's the most hilarious thing I've ever read. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. THIS is what Bobby actually sent to them:


The stage is black. A large video screen looms behind the drum kit.
A low, dramatic, sustained drone (in the key of “E”) of music slowly rises.
The screen suddenly flashes with static/snow, like a television struggling to get a signal.
An “80’s” style TV appears on the large video screen.
The original MTV theme comes up on the small screen overlapping the drone.
The iconic familiar MTV astronaut plants the flag on the moon and original DJ Mark Goodman introduces the original video to the song “Round and Round”. It becomes a quick montage of Ratt’s videos.
The video suddenly slows to a stop, like a cassette tape that has malfunctioned. The images on the screen freeze, then melt away like wax, like the audience is peaking on acid.
Static fills the big screen once again. Then we are tight on a newspaper headline.The scene shot in blue film treatment except for the lamp, chair,the table and bottle and radio, and the hat on the mans head. The name of the news paper postinioned where L.A times would be, is
“ world News”
 We slowly pull out from the newspaper.
A man bathed in a blue spotlight from overhead, sits in a chair reading the paper. Still in Blue film, A small table at his side. A bottle of Jack Daniels and an “80’s” Ghetto Blaster rest on the table.
The man turns the page of the newspaper, shaking his head regretfully.
The audience sees the newsprint...
“Ratt to call it quits”. “Inner strife causes Ratt to hang it up”. “Ratt drummer vows to continue bringing the Ratt hits to the fans”.
“No more “Ratt and Roll”...
The man reading the paper looks up from behind it. It’s then we see his face...Ratt Drummer Bobby Blotzer.
Bobby crumples up the paper and tosses it. He grabs a bottle of Jack and sits back in his chair. He takes a swig.
Still bathed in blue light, He turns on the Ghetto blaster. A DJ comes over the radio.
DJ
Here’s a classic song from 1984
by “Ratt” start a Ratt song
Bobby’s head nods slowly with the song. Suddenly the song stops, much like earlier in our video. The DJ comes back on again...
DJ (CONT’D)
Sorry folks, looks like we have some
technical difficulties. Hmmm, this has never happened, Hopefully we can get it back to you.
Bobby looks at the radio.
DJ (CONT’D)
Hey, let’s also Hope Ratt can get it back together too.
Would be a shame not to hear that great music live anymore...
Bobby puts the bottle of Jack down and puts his head in his hands.
Disjointed voices begin to call Bobby’s name.
The faces behind the voices begin to appear and disappear above Bobby as they speak... in a spinning camera motion around Bobby, from left . spin right , spin left, shoulder shots.
VOICE 1
:Ratt’s done dude, 34 years you’ve put in this, its time to move
on!
VOICE 2
:So you think you can go out as ratt on your own you’re your new band? You’re dreaming bro, Ratt’s over..
VOICE 3
:It was a good time Bobby but all good things come to an end!
VOICE 4:
Too bad Ratt split up, they kicked
ass..
It’s then that Bobby gets up out of the chair. Holding his head as to silence the voices in his head.
He grabs the bottle of Jack and takes another swig. He looks at the Ghetto blaster and tries to turn it on. It won’t work...
Bobby smacks it a couple times.
He finally stands back and throws the bottle of Jack at the Radio.
The bottle explodes and radio falls to the ground in slow motion.
Bobby stands there, head down. It suddenly begins to snow on him.
He looks up into the sky, his arms in a christ like pose, snow falling on him. An angelic female figure whispering in his ear, comforting him, you can do it, relax people will appreciate that your keeping the music alive!!
The Video fades to black...
Suddenly the blue light that bathed Bobby Blotzer in the video, comes up on the stage.
(Now live on stage)
The blue light shines on the same Ghetto blaster from the video that is now laying on it’s side on stage. A fresh bottle of Jack next to it. They’re covered in snow.
A Janitor walks across the stage sweeping it. He comes to the bottle of Jack and the Ghetto Blaster.
The janitor grabs the bottle, cleans the snow off and takes a swig. He sweeps the snow off the radio and turns it on.
“Ratt” music starts coming out of it.
The Janitor starts rocking to the music. He throws his broom, grabs the Jack and the ghetto blaster and happily walks off stage, Ghetto blaster to his ear...
The band kicks off...Ratt Live!!!
Story By Bobby Blotzer & Michael May




I AM NOT KIDDING. They actually starting filming this too, but they had a bunch of arguments with production company, including my fav: Bobby wanted to use instant potatoes straight out of the box instead of actual fake snow because he heard somewhere that "that's how they do it in the movies" (what?!) But obviously production wanted to get something more professional and bobby wouldn't spend the extra money for it.
I am grateful to be here to share this with you all, because I almost died from laughter the first time I read it.

[Chip Z'Hoy]

User61585,

I could not stop laughing at your post.

Oh man.

How long was that promo video going to be??? It's fucking Last of the Mohicans.

[gtrjay]

User61585,

I could not stop laughing at your post.

Oh man.

How long was that promo video going to be??? It's fucking Last of the Mohicans.

Could be post of year! At least post of winter 16'

[SeniorGrande]

Bobby smacks it a couple times.

"I need a woman, dressed as a ghetto blaster."

[yeahbuddy]

Jesus!!!

All these years & Bobby still doesn't understand he is the drummer!!
NOBODY GIVES A RATT'S ASS ABOUT THIS GUY!!!!!! IT'S ABOUT THE SONGS, IT'S ABOUT STEPHEN, IT'S ABOUT WARREN, IT'S ABOUT JUAN BOUNCING AROUND LIKE A GOOF, THAT'S RATT, NOT A HACK DRUMMER!!




Oh,
and thank you for adding more fuel to the fire!

[That-guy]

That's great! Instant potatoes.

[Chip Z'Hoy]


It’s then that Bobby gets up out of the chair. Holding his head as to silence the voices in his head.

He looks up into the sky, his arms in a christ like pose, snow falling on him.

Holy fuck, I wish this was filmed.

[SeniorGrande]


It’s then that Bobby gets up out of the chair. Holding his head as to silence the voices in his head.

He looks up into the sky, his arms in a christ like pose, snow falling on him.

Holy fuck, I wish this was filmed.

I bet he would have jumped backwards like Geoff Tate..."Watch This!"

[yeahbuddy]

everyone knows all my trucks have Stonebreed Stickers on them!

Is that so you can park in handicapped spots without fear of being ticketed?

Not defending the Blobzter, but what could he possibly say to this guy that would be considered racist?

Agreed - I'm interested in hearing what he said that was racist, seeing as Al Sharpton is my spirit animal and all.

He may be referring to Blobster's penchant for going on Obama and black crime rants while destroying the English language on his Twitter, so I'm sure he's spouted some good stuff when he was plastered and this guy was the only one listening.....

I think you are right. The few times I've gone on his Fbook page, its obvious he's not an Obama fan. I can't handle looking at his page. I would rather come here & read the cliff notes with everybody's comments.
Maybe Blobzter is a racist maybe not. Its got nothing to do with what happened to scsinner & Blobzter so why bring it up except for being a whiny crybaby.

[yeahbuddy]


It’s then that Bobby gets up out of the chair. Holding his head as to silence the voices in his head.

He looks up into the sky, his arms in a christ like pose, snow falling on him.

Holy fuck, I wish this was filmed.

I bet he would have jumped backwards like Geoff Tate..."Watch This!"

No way, because he is no where near as dangerous & crazy as GT.
Come on! GT drinks wine & rides motorcycles. Can't get crazier than that!

[dmbrocker]

Oh man, I can't believe Blotz didn't actually do that promo video! That would have been a license to print money right there!

[Turner Coates]

I've been waiting for a shining moment to share this gem... Bobby hired a production company to film an intro for his new band's gigs. I have a copy of the story board and it's the most hilarious thing I've ever read. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. THIS is what Bobby actually sent to them:

<snip Blatzo's self centered amateurish drivel>

Holy motherfucking cornball, Batman!

[hairmetalsux]

Are there outtakes?

[hairmetalsux]

Hitler is not happy

http://captiongenerator.com/79570/Hitle ... -fake-Ratt

<Edited - RobBin's name only had one B originally. Can't dis the dead like that!>

[SeniorGrande]

Hitler is not happy

http://captiongenerator.com/79522/Fake-Ratt

HOLY FUCK!!!