Allsop marries Allslob - congratulations to Wolfgunt Van Halen!

[BernieTaupson]

I wonder where Wolf, Andraia and Val are going on their honeymoon?

[BernieTaupson]

[Turner Coates]

I wonder where Wolf, Andraia and Val are going on their honeymoon?

[BernieTaupson]

[Danzig in the Dark]

Waffle looks like Cooter from The Dukes of Hazzard (but fatter).

you spelled Boss Hog wrong

You spelled Boss Hogg wrong too.

He looks like the pawn show guy. Rick will give her $10 for the ring after the divorce.

[BernieTaupson]

[HueyRamone]

did he take a moneyshot to the right side of his face?

[BernieTaupson]

[VinceLeeRose]

If she divorces him and takes everything, will he be forced to play the Rainbow parking lot?

[Danzig in the Dark]

If she divorces him and takes everything, will he be forced to play the Rainbow parking lot?

How big is the Rainbow parking lot?

[Turner Coates]

For what it's worth, I think I figured out the reasoning for his checkered picnic blanket on the stage.
His dad was known for his "stripes" patterns. Wolfie's choice of "checks" instead was his way of making a "joke."
He can't really go for checkered guitars because Rick Nielsen has already farmed those acres.

[BernieTaupson]

He’s the one
I've been told
Now he’s wearing a band of gold
Woolfie Poo got married not long ago

[DiamondDog]

did he take a moneyshot to the right side of his face?

Ranch or Alfredo sauce.

[Cindy Buzzedimisa]

Wonder how her mother in law feels about this obvious gold digger. I'm sure Valerie saw to it she had to sign an iron clad prenup. But she's probably counting on him not living very long. He's going to blow up even more now that he's married.

[VinceVanLane]

Wonder how her mother in law feels about this obvious gold digger. I'm sure Valerie saw to it she had to sign an iron clad prenup. But she's probably counting on him not living very long. He's going to blow up even more now that he's married.

Yeah I bet she's playing the long game and has invested 5 years of her life so she could marry him, then he'll die, and then she'll get to inherit 5150 and all the Van Halen tapes, and then she'll release them! I'm sure that's been her plan all along. She's a Van Halen superfan.

[BernieTaupson]

Wonder how her mother in law feels about this obvious gold digger.

They probably compared notes.

[MetalSludgeCEO]

She could be the new mascot for a 2024 Hee Haw reboot... just saying...

$tEvil

[Kerry67]

How big around is Wolf's Neck?

[Psychobolia.com]

WOLFGANG VAN HALEN 'Would Like To' Start A Family With Wife: 'But I've Gotta Figure Out My Lunch Plans First'

https://blabbermouth.net/news/wolfgang- ... reer-first

[SchenkerFan]

Upon closer inspection, she's not all that - has a 5head, big choppers, and borderline anorexic:

Oh hey look, it's another of those Sludgers with a supermodel wife pointing out how all of these women aren't up to his standards.

[HueyRamone]

WOLFGANG VAN HALEN 'Would Like To' Start A Family With Wife: 'But I've Gotta Figure Out My Lunch Plans First'

https://blabbermouth.net/news/wolfgang- ... reer-first

Omg, he literally said they ‘didn’t have time’ for a honeymoon, so they holed up in the bedroom and played video games for a week.

I bet he thinks she just likes video gaming with a slob and drinking Mountain Dew straight from the 2 liter bottle like he does… “wow, she’s not like other girls!”

And why couldn’t his fat ass have just used that week to go on the fucking honeymoon? Lazy bastard. He’s in for a rude awakening as soon as she stops pretending she likes his routine

[Psychobolia.com]

WOLFGANG VAN HALEN 'Would Like To' Start A Family With Wife: 'But I've Gotta Figure Out My Lunch Plans First'

https://blabbermouth.net/news/wolfgang- ... reer-first

Omg, he literally said they ‘didn’t have time’ for a honeymoon, so they holed up in the bedroom and played video games for a week.

I bet he thinks she just likes video gaming with a slob and drinking Mountain Dew straight from the 2 liter bottle like he does… “wow, she’s not like other girls!”

And why couldn’t his fat ass have just used that week to go on the fucking honeymoon? Lazy bastard. He’s in for a rude awakening as soon as she stops pretending she likes his routine

He's living in some sort of selfish parallel universe, one where it's also impossible to have a baby while having a career as a musician, you would think he'd be a master at spinning plates!

[BernieTaupson]

”Anyone over 40 will be terrified". Shut the fuck up. Meshuggah started before you were born, so they have plenty of fans 40+

[Wednesday 13 Fan]

WOLFGANG VAN HALEN 'Would Like To' Start A Family With Wife: 'But I've Gotta Figure Out My Lunch Plans First'

https://blabbermouth.net/news/wolfgang- ... reer-first

Omg, he literally said they ‘didn’t have time’ for a honeymoon, so they holed up in the bedroom and played video games for a week.

I bet he thinks she just likes video gaming with a slob and drinking Mountain Dew straight from the 2 liter bottle like he does… “wow, she’s not like other girls!”

And why couldn’t his fat ass have just used that week to go on the fucking honeymoon? Lazy bastard. He’s in for a rude awakening as soon as she stops pretending she likes his routine

Yeah, as soon as those kids start coming that shit's gonna stop.

[BernieTaupson]

Fatass has some radio show on Sirius or something, I think his crazy cat lady mom has one as well. Anyway him and the new wife co-hosted it together recently. Bet it was a gas.

[skatexedge]

What are the odds on her getting knocked up asap to secure that VH money coming regularly??

Without having money, guys like that do not pull chicks that look like her.

She must not be hardcore Mormon or else she would have made him join the church then dragged him off to the temple for that wedding….

[BernieTaupson]

Remember when Al got divorced and then tried to force his ex to legally change her name back because she was doing business with her legal name and Al claimed she was cashing in on Van Halen the band? Dude that’s her surname, you married her and she changed it!

[LAglamrocker]

Is she pregnant yet? I sure hope so
Dracula Van Halen is coming!!!!!!

[BernieTaupson]

She can’t wait for him to go back on tour so she can be Blacklicker Van Halen.