Hey DC!

[deathcurse]

It's awesome that you're back.

It is NOT AT ALL awesome that you're still spending multiple pages going round and round with Mumra.

Ha! SLD revives the Hatas board and now of all a sudden we're a bunch of choosy niggas.

As much as I'm flattered that you think I have any sort of talent for this, I'm not your Hatas monkey and I'm not going to start fucking with whoever the tard-of-the-week is just because that's the latest fad. I do what I can to keep my exchanges with The Mummy minimal on threads outside of Hatas but shit, if I can't do it here, where can I do it?

Also, I can't help but notice that you've taken to calling him Mumra. Enjoying that? Good - because I'm the person who started calling him The Mummy. Your thread might have been more effective had you not co-opted a variation on a phrase that came directly from my negative agenda.

You're also missing the point on what The Mummy's function is here. He's a punching bag. If you go to a gym and see someone working on a punching bag, do you go "What the fuck are you doing? Why aren't you in the ring boxing another person right now? I'm bored and I'd rather you didn't punch anything at all!"

Can I have a list of who I should fuck with? Seriously. I'd like to know who I should be directing my attention to.

screensiren? Do we really need one more person rewriting Stoner's yacht pot joke?

JakeYonkel? LOL, HE'S REPUBLICANZ, LOL.

What's the name of that chick that didn't show her tits? Was my presence really missed on those 80 pages?

[chickenona]

YES, as a matter of fact it was.

A couple more bullet points about your post:

- It was never my intention to imply the whole "mummy" motif isn't awesome.

- As for Yonkel, his being a Republican is the least of my issues with him and we all know that.

- YES, I AM a choosy nigga.

[chickenona]

Further, good sir, your punching bag analogy does not hold water. If you go to the gym and see someone using a moldy-ass old punching bag with all of its stuffing spilling out, providing no meaningful surface resistance or quality workout, don't you think it's only fair to point out to that person that they're not getting the quality workout they could get from punching a newer, heavier bag? Like maybe, I dunno, a petulant Kraut or some shit.

Yes, I just challenged you to pick a fight with SLD.

[SebastianLeeDanzig]

Did you just call me fat, you ancient four-eyed whore?

[chickenona]

No, DC did. You better give him what for.

[deathcurse]

No, for real, who's the flavor the week that I'm supposed to ripping on? There's apparently a list of tards more worthy of ridicule and I haven't seen one real name.

Maybe I just saw the pattern a long time ago and decided those kinds of pileons weren't as rewarding as fighting my own fights? I mean, all it takes at this point is for Stoner to discover that someone is hilariously stupid and all of a sudden there's a dozen of the cool kids all flexing their muscles, "proving" to everyone what master flamers they all are.

Meanwhile, I can't think of anything memorable to come out of ANY of those threads. What happened with sludgerizator? She got banned? Whoopdee fucking doo.

[chickenona]

I wouldn't expect you to pile on "the flavor of the week", that'd be way worse than Mumra.

You know what made me start the thread in the first place? You and Mumra were going back and forth on that cookie thread and Mumra did his selective editing thing one too many times and the stupidity overwhelmed me and I just snapped. I mean, it never changes. There is no payoff in fucking with Mumra unless you get a charge out of one of the following:

1. You post something like "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Mumra" and he quotes your post as something like "Fuck horse."

2. He says something embarrassingly old-timey like "My sediments exactly".

3. He responds to a masterfully crafted flame with "So I'm right, you are admitting to being stupid. Thanks."

I just didn't get - and still really kinda don't get - why you'd want to go back and forth with somebody whose every response you can predict. With Mumra, there's no "Does this look like Taco Bell to you." There's no disgusting pictures of some flabby ginger's taint. There's no Pietr Jan DeGroot. There's no PAYOFF. It just goes on and on and on and on. And it's not about YOUR quality or lack thereof. Yes, you came up with the whole Mummy thing and it's awesome. Yes, you pioneered ridiculing the drunk driving, the "burgundy mist" bass, and the one-eyed cat. And it's awesome. But you can only polish a turd so much, dc.

I just don't understand where the fun is for YOU in going back and forth with Mumra.

[deathcurse]

Yes, you came up with the whole Mummy thing and it's awesome.

That's true.

the "burgundy mist" bass, and the one-eyed cat

Huh?

I don't think I've ever mentioned the color of his bass and until now, I didn't know his cat had one-eye.

I just don't understand where the fun is for YOU in going back and forth with Mumra.

You fail to mention all the hours that were spent building up the ginger's taint or EDDIEVANMAIDEN's grandma chair. These things produce results though with The Mummy, they have been minimal in comparison to some of my other achievements.

Take for instance, the heroin story. I didn't "discover" that story. mullet_head actually had that quote in his sig for weeks before I happened to read it. After that, I was like "THE....FUCK?" I bumped the thread and here we are today, with "suicidal withdrawals" being part of the Sludge lexicon.

Don't forget that The Mummy became the #1 retard here partially through my efforts. Before that, he was hated by some creeps like Ghey Man but he wasn't near as hated as he is now. I helped expose him for being the hopeless tard he is and now he can barely post without someone mentioning how old he is, how he hates black people because they used to kick ass, how he never tried heroin or saw The Beatles - the list is endless.

Like I said before, people are reaping the benefits of my exchanges with The Mummy, as tiresome as they are to read.

I can't help but notice that people always complain when I'm laying the foundations but when there's payoff, everyone jumps on board to get their kicks in. I got a lot of shit at the beginning of the VNP saga for being "longwinded and boring" and then the guy goes shithouse and says he's suing the board!

There would be no Abe taint had I not tormented him the way I did. There would be no beach house. There would be no Pieter Jan Brugge. Fuck, it's possible that without my efforts, we'd still have the GWE. I certainly can't take all the credit for that one but I definitely contributed to pushing them over the edge.

This is what I'm talking about when I say "SHOW ME RESULTS."

[CrouchingStonerHiddenBong]

It was pretty awesome when Mumm-Ra went on his PM spree vowing to shun negative agendas too.

[chickenona]

I've never tried for too many "results", but I did cause a few nice little meltdowns on my Dumbest Posters thread. Provoking Ironman to call me a fat bitch, making KAOS cry and goading Charvel Basher to wish death on my whole family because I called him stupid are pretty decent results for one little thread IMO.

[deathcurse]

It was pretty awesome when Mumm-Ra went on his PM spree vowing to shun negative agendas too.

I think you inspired that.

I've never tried for too many "results", but I did cause a few nice little meltdowns on my Dumbest Posters thread. Provoking Ironman to call me a fat bitch, making KAOS cry and goading Charvel Basher to wish death on my whole family because I called him stupid are pretty decent results for one little thread IMO.

Now we're cooking with evil gas. That's what I mean I say show me the results. The CharvelBasher thing is some good shit. Fat bitch? Crying KAOS? Not bad, not bad. It's not hard to make KAOS cry though.

[SebastianLeeDanzig]

Fuck results. The journey is the reward. And I'm not just saying that because I have nothing to show for it. I'm saying that despite not having anything to show for it. And despite not making much sense right now.

[CrouchingStonerHiddenBong]

That's some Skate4RnR Buddshist faggotry.

[deathcurse]

Another key thing is crossing over to other demographics. Too many people ghettoize themselves and limit their potential to horrify innocent posters. Let's use the sludgerizator threads for example. It was the same 10 or so posters all getting their barbs in and having a good time. Which is fine. But Joe Gossipboard didn't catch wind of that shit. It was a circle jerk.

Abe posted his asshole on The Gossip Board. He made a thread to post his asshole. Legions of people who had no idea what the hell it was all about recoiled in horror at the sight of that Canadian's anus and taint.

I gotta hand it to Abe on that one. Even I was left momentarily speechless.

[SebastianLeeDanzig]

Not to take anything away from your impressive achievement list, but I still have no idea who Abe really is and how or when he became popular. My point being, you can spread a flame war to seven boards and draw it out over two years and it's still going to be boring enough to be ignored to someone else.

How does it matter? Take Drunk_Kennedy or what's his face. Results? Hell yeah. Remember reading one great post by the guy? I don't.

I hear you on the demographics thing, though. That's why I'm sporting this embarrassing signature in the first place. Somebody might just come here by accident and provide some entertainment.

[CrouchingStonerHiddenBong]

If I were a a gigantic douchenozzle like ZVD, I'd go to bed thinking "Today was a great day on Sludge" tonight, but since I"m not, I won't.

[deathcurse]

If I were a a gigantic douchenozzle like ZVD, I'd go to bed thinking "Today was a great day on Sludge" tonight, but since I"m not, I won't.

Fuck you. I've helped people.

[SebastianLeeDanzig]

But did you make a living out of it? Because that's how the true martyrs roll.

[Luminiferous]

Abe posted his asshole on The Gossip Board. He made a thread to post his asshole. Legions of people who had no idea what the hell it was all about recoiled in horror at the sight of that Canadian's anus and taint.

I gotta hand it to Abe on that one. Even I was left momentarily speechless.

The tsunami in 2004 didn't have as much effect on a group of people as Abe's impersonation of ItWalks' cat did with that picture..

I still cringe...

[GrayAntiMatter]

I'm more surprised that TimTim continues to post here, than I am that Lickety continues to post here.