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HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 3:46 pm
by CrouchingStonerHiddenBong
Over the years, Sludge has been a veritable smorgasbord of tards - an all-you-can-ridicule buffet for the intellectually superior to pick from and play with. Clearly there's a new tard on the menu, and it goes by the name of HMJ and it looks like this:
Not since RockNRev stood on a pile of snow while leaning on a late 80's model minivan has such blatant douchebaggery been captured in a picture. I showed this picture to Bill Gazarri's headstone and the words "1986 was fuckin' great" appeared on it.
This thread is long overdue and should be used not only as a clearinghouse for all of the stupid shit that falls from his hairbrush clutching hands and onto the internet, but to make fun of his laughable existence in general.
Commence.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 4:16 pm
by Luminiferous
I didn't realize he was cycloptic..
That's one big ass eye...
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 5:04 pm
by Son_of_Sam_I_Am
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 5:06 pm
by canadianhavoc
His comments regarding Egypt were idiotic at an almost biblical level.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:24 pm
by EvilRockPosh
He's a total fucking retardofaggot but I can't stay mad at him. He's like a pug or something, you get annoyed at it for eating out of the trash but then you think "Aww, give him a break, his brain is tiny" and start stroking him behind the ears.
canadianhavoc wrote:His comments regarding Egypt were idiotic at an almost biblical level.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:32 pm
by MurrayFiend
EvilRockPosh wrote:He's like a pug or something
Keep chickenona away from him, then.
Get it? She had a pug and shot it. In the head!
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:38 pm
by EvilRockPosh
MurrayFiend wrote:EvilRockPosh wrote:He's like a pug or something
Keep chickenona away from him, then.
Get it? She had a pug and shot it. In the head!
Seriously though, it would be kinda awesome if she shot HMJ through the skull after she's done murdering Deathcurse. I think we'd have to petition the mod to reinstate her account if she did that.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:46 pm
by SoulsOfBlack
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:51 pm
by MurrayFiend
You confused me, quoting my post from another thread like that.
But yeah, "Get Her Pregnant" bangs. He has a future in the rap game.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:30 pm
by MasterOfMeatPuppets
EvilRockPosh wrote:He's a total fucking retardofaggot but I can't stay mad at him. He's like a pug or something, you get annoyed at it for eating out of the trash but then you think "Aww, give him a break, his brain is tiny" and start stroking him behind the ears.
canadianhavoc wrote:His comments regarding Egypt were idiotic at an almost biblical level.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:32 pm
by MurrayFiend
Hope Men Jackmeoff
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:44 pm
by EvilRockPosh
Double
at those last two posts.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 4:18 am
by Captain Morgan
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 9:46 am
by St_Augustines_Pears
That pic he took in his bathroom mirror reminds me of Tattooed Lyin'.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 1:22 pm
by SeminiferousButtNoid
Satan posted a funny photoshop of him marching with a guitar or something that I don't feel like searching for.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 2:29 pm
by EvilPettingZoo
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 2:43 pm
by Captain Morgan
I knew he looked familiar...
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 3:05 pm
by thewonkytits
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:29 am
by Endless Yodel
Here's HMJ missing the point of the discussion in the Subway thread:
bane wrote:HMJ wrote:I love how people act like their only meal options are their fast food restaurant options. Go to a fucking grocery store.
Discussing the merits of a fast food joint isn't the same thing as saying those are your only options. Just sayin'. I avoid fast food for the most part, but come on. Everybody breaks down and hits a drive thru from time to time.
Keep in mind that he wrote this in the What's in Yer Fridge? thread:
HMJ wrote:Don't have one. I live day to day on a daily food budget of $10.
It gives me something to look forward to.
So I guess when he shops for groceries, he doesn't get anything perishable.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:17 am
by Son_of_Sam_I_Am
Endless Yodel wrote:
Keep in mind that he wrote this in the What's in Yer Fridge? thread:
HMJ wrote:Don't have one. I live day to day on a daily food budget of $10.
It gives me something to look forward to.
LMGDAO!!!!
Seriously? This tool says he doesn't have a fridge?
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:34 am
by MasterOfMeatPuppets
Son_of_Sam_I_Am wrote:Endless Yodel wrote:
Keep in mind that he wrote this in the What's in Yer Fridge? thread:
HMJ wrote:Don't have one. I live day to day on a daily food budget of $10.
It gives me something to look forward to.
LMGDAO!!!!
Seriously? This tool says he doesn't have a fridge?
Maybe he lives on the pizza his band is paid for performing.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 7:39 am
by Endless Yodel
Son_of_Sam_I_Am wrote:Endless Yodel wrote:
Keep in mind that he wrote this in the What's in Yer Fridge? thread:
HMJ wrote:Don't have one. I live day to day on a daily food budget of $10.
It gives me something to look forward to.
LMGDAO!!!!
Seriously? This tool says he doesn't have a fridge?
Apparently.
I was shocked when I read that. Is his landlord too cheap to spring for one?? It's hardly a luxury item like a dishwasher. I'm imagining HMJ living in a rat trap with a hot plate and Murphy bed and community bathroom. Not having a refrigerator precludes the health-conscious sort from stocking up on things like fresh produce and soy milk.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2011 5:46 pm
by saracapri
HMJ wrote:
I know, ain't that grand? It only took me a few glances of shit like "Motorhead sucks, Lemmy can't sing" and "Jellyfish need to reunite!!!" before I said fuck asking this board for musican opinions. I come here to make fun of old people and occasionally find a new band.
Butthurt much?
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 4:15 pm
by Kristi Vanian
What the fuck's with his hair? I just want to scream, "DEEP CONDITIONING TREATMENT!" at him.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 5:32 pm
by Endless Yodel
I appreciate HMJ's attempt at humor, really.
HMJ wrote:
However, when whoever is in the audience replies "No." that means that someone is in fact there. A sole speech balloon extending from HMJ's mouth with the words "Is anybody out there? Anybody? Hello..." would've packed far more comedic punch. Helping him right along, I am.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 6:06 pm
by EvilRockPosh
Kristi Vicious wrote:What the fuck's with his hair? I just want to scream, "DEEP CONDITIONING TREATMENT!" at him.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:56 pm
by MasterOfMeatPuppets
Kristi Vicious wrote:What the fuck's with his hair? I just want to scream, "DEEP CONDITIONING TREATMENT!" at him.
The effect of semen on hair seems to be overstated.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:51 pm
by Kristi Vanian
Well, all I know is that it seems to work for my hair.
Wait..what?
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 10:57 pm
by UtahRatt
thewonkytits wrote:
Has he ever explained what's going on in that clip? Who thought that was a good idea HMJ? You understand that makes you look like the biggest fucking dolt ever to take stage?
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Posted: Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:19 pm
by Kristi Vanian
I'm pretty sure he is the biggest fucking dolt to ever take the stage.
