HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Here's where you can rip on each other. We don't care. If any personal information gets posted about another user, we'll delete it and you'll be banned. No exceptions.

Moderator: Metal Sludge

User avatar
CrouchingStonerHiddenBong
Queen Bee
Posts: 13829
Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2004 5:03 pm

HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by CrouchingStonerHiddenBong »

Over the years, Sludge has been a veritable smorgasbord of tards - an all-you-can-ridicule buffet for the intellectually superior to pick from and play with. Clearly there's a new tard on the menu, and it goes by the name of HMJ and it looks like this:

Image

Not since RockNRev stood on a pile of snow while leaning on a late 80's model minivan has such blatant douchebaggery been captured in a picture. I showed this picture to Bill Gazarri's headstone and the words "1986 was fuckin' great" appeared on it.

This thread is long overdue and should be used not only as a clearinghouse for all of the stupid shit that falls from his hairbrush clutching hands and onto the internet, but to make fun of his laughable existence in general.

Commence.

tym wrote:She makes My air head 11 year old Girl look like Nikita Tesla.
User avatar
Luminiferous
Playing First Stage at SludgeFest
Posts: 29049
Joined: Mon Nov 14, 2005 3:47 pm
Location: OI! Down here mate!

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Luminiferous »

I didn't realize he was cycloptic..

That's one big ass eye...
Image
User avatar
Son_of_Sam_I_Am
I'm an angry, angry boy!
Posts: 3451
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2004 6:14 am
Location: Seattle

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Son_of_Sam_I_Am »

Image
User avatar
canadianhavoc
Playing Decent Clubs in a Bus
Posts: 1751
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:45 pm

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by canadianhavoc »

His comments regarding Egypt were idiotic at an almost biblical level.
User avatar
EvilRockPosh
Playing a Package Tour in Arenas
Posts: 12860
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2004 6:03 pm

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by EvilRockPosh »

He's a total fucking retardofaggot but I can't stay mad at him. He's like a pug or something, you get annoyed at it for eating out of the trash but then you think "Aww, give him a break, his brain is tiny" and start stroking him behind the ears.
canadianhavoc wrote:His comments regarding Egypt were idiotic at an almost biblical level.
Image
Nunose wrote: Mon Dec 27, 2021 3:59 am Goddamn this shit is exhausting...and people still believe his shit.

You can tell all the people who have been bought and paid for by big pharma

Kiss
Metal Sludge
etc..
MurrayFiend
Signed to a Major Label Multi-Album Deal
Posts: 22717
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2005 5:09 pm
Location: Toronto

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MurrayFiend »

EvilRockPosh wrote:He's like a pug or something
Keep chickenona away from him, then.

Get it? She had a pug and shot it. In the head!
HeavyMetalZombie666 wrote:Any chicks on this board like Sean Connery or Roger Moore?
User avatar
EvilRockPosh
Playing a Package Tour in Arenas
Posts: 12860
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2004 6:03 pm

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by EvilRockPosh »

MurrayFiend wrote:
EvilRockPosh wrote:He's like a pug or something
Keep chickenona away from him, then.

Get it? She had a pug and shot it. In the head!
Image

Seriously though, it would be kinda awesome if she shot HMJ through the skull after she's done murdering Deathcurse. I think we'd have to petition the mod to reinstate her account if she did that.
Nunose wrote: Mon Dec 27, 2021 3:59 am Goddamn this shit is exhausting...and people still believe his shit.

You can tell all the people who have been bought and paid for by big pharma

Kiss
Metal Sludge
etc..
User avatar
SoulsOfBlack
Playing a Package Tour in Arenas
Posts: 11717
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2008 7:51 am

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by SoulsOfBlack »

MurrayFiend wrote:HMJ stands for 'Hear Mediocre Jokes'.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GACQzJewOBU

His music is much better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ey5jwWyHNh4
Image
EZrocker wrote:I am not an "obsessive Jani Lane fan". I don't even own a Warrant album, and I have never seen Jani live. I think Uncle Tom's Cabin is a good tune, but otherwise I could give a shit.
MurrayFiend
Signed to a Major Label Multi-Album Deal
Posts: 22717
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2005 5:09 pm
Location: Toronto

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MurrayFiend »

You confused me, quoting my post from another thread like that.

But yeah, "Get Her Pregnant" bangs. He has a future in the rap game.
HeavyMetalZombie666 wrote:Any chicks on this board like Sean Connery or Roger Moore?
User avatar
MasterOfMeatPuppets
MSX Tour Support Act
Posts: 4249
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:29 pm

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MasterOfMeatPuppets »

EvilRockPosh wrote:He's a total fucking retardofaggot but I can't stay mad at him. He's like a pug or something, you get annoyed at it for eating out of the trash but then you think "Aww, give him a break, his brain is tiny" and start stroking him behind the ears.
canadianhavoc wrote:His comments regarding Egypt were idiotic at an almost biblical level.
Image
Image
ImageImage
MurrayFiend
Signed to a Major Label Multi-Album Deal
Posts: 22717
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2005 5:09 pm
Location: Toronto

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MurrayFiend »

Hope Men Jackmeoff
HeavyMetalZombie666 wrote:Any chicks on this board like Sean Connery or Roger Moore?
User avatar
EvilRockPosh
Playing a Package Tour in Arenas
Posts: 12860
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2004 6:03 pm

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by EvilRockPosh »

Double :lol: at those last two posts.
Nunose wrote: Mon Dec 27, 2021 3:59 am Goddamn this shit is exhausting...and people still believe his shit.

You can tell all the people who have been bought and paid for by big pharma

Kiss
Metal Sludge
etc..
User avatar
Captain Morgan
Kenny Loggins
Posts: 2413
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:15 pm
Location: Meet Me Half Way

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Captain Morgan »

Image
Image
St_Augustines_Pears
Headlining Clubs
Posts: 3709
Joined: Tue Jan 31, 2006 8:11 pm
Location: Dead Moines, IA

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by St_Augustines_Pears »

That pic he took in his bathroom mirror reminds me of Tattooed Lyin'.
"Moving on, is a simple thing...what it leaves behind is hard. You know the sleeping feel no more pain...and the living are all scarred." -- Megadeth's "A Tout Le Monde"
User avatar
SeminiferousButtNoid
Certified Asshole
Posts: 17738
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 6:58 pm
Location: Balls Deep In The Hoopla

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by SeminiferousButtNoid »

Satan posted a funny photoshop of him marching with a guitar or something that I don't feel like searching for.
GreatWhiteSnake wrote:I'm 46 and my dad's 67 and we kiss each other on the mouth and my 9 yo old son and I do too. It's because we love each other. A lot. And could give a shit what anyone else thinks about us kissing on the mouth.
User avatar
EvilPettingZoo
Recording Your Demo
Posts: 343
Joined: Sat Oct 14, 2006 3:58 pm
Location: Central Florida

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by EvilPettingZoo »

Captain Morgan wrote:Image
:lol: :lol:
For some reason, the fact that his pants match his towels EXACTLY cracks me the fuck up.
User avatar
Captain Morgan
Kenny Loggins
Posts: 2413
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:15 pm
Location: Meet Me Half Way

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Captain Morgan »

I knew he looked familiar...

Image
Image
User avatar
thewonkytits
Headlining Clubs
Posts: 3772
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2008 10:38 am

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by thewonkytits »

User avatar
Endless Yodel
Debut Album Goes Gold
Posts: 3916
Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 5:52 pm

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Endless Yodel »

Here's HMJ missing the point of the discussion in the Subway thread:
bane wrote:
HMJ wrote:I love how people act like their only meal options are their fast food restaurant options. Go to a fucking grocery store.
Discussing the merits of a fast food joint isn't the same thing as saying those are your only options. Just sayin'. I avoid fast food for the most part, but come on. Everybody breaks down and hits a drive thru from time to time.
Keep in mind that he wrote this in the What's in Yer Fridge? thread:
HMJ wrote:Don't have one. I live day to day on a daily food budget of $10.

It gives me something to look forward to.
So I guess when he shops for groceries, he doesn't get anything perishable.
sirrloin wrote: There is a difference between show tunes appreciation and musical theater. If you don't know the difference, you're not very educated.
User avatar
Son_of_Sam_I_Am
I'm an angry, angry boy!
Posts: 3451
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2004 6:14 am
Location: Seattle

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Son_of_Sam_I_Am »

Endless Yodel wrote: Keep in mind that he wrote this in the What's in Yer Fridge? thread:
HMJ wrote:Don't have one. I live day to day on a daily food budget of $10.

It gives me something to look forward to.
LMGDAO!!!!

Seriously? This tool says he doesn't have a fridge?
User avatar
MasterOfMeatPuppets
MSX Tour Support Act
Posts: 4249
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:29 pm

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MasterOfMeatPuppets »

Son_of_Sam_I_Am wrote:
Endless Yodel wrote: Keep in mind that he wrote this in the What's in Yer Fridge? thread:
HMJ wrote:Don't have one. I live day to day on a daily food budget of $10.

It gives me something to look forward to.
LMGDAO!!!!

Seriously? This tool says he doesn't have a fridge?
Maybe he lives on the pizza his band is paid for performing.
ImageImage
User avatar
Endless Yodel
Debut Album Goes Gold
Posts: 3916
Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 5:52 pm

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Endless Yodel »

Son_of_Sam_I_Am wrote:
Endless Yodel wrote: Keep in mind that he wrote this in the What's in Yer Fridge? thread:
HMJ wrote:Don't have one. I live day to day on a daily food budget of $10.

It gives me something to look forward to.
LMGDAO!!!!

Seriously? This tool says he doesn't have a fridge?
Apparently. :lol: I was shocked when I read that. Is his landlord too cheap to spring for one?? It's hardly a luxury item like a dishwasher. I'm imagining HMJ living in a rat trap with a hot plate and Murphy bed and community bathroom. Not having a refrigerator precludes the health-conscious sort from stocking up on things like fresh produce and soy milk.
sirrloin wrote: There is a difference between show tunes appreciation and musical theater. If you don't know the difference, you're not very educated.
User avatar
saracapri
Cockblocked by Poison
Posts: 7330
Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2005 11:25 am
Location: Cincitucky

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by saracapri »

HMJ wrote: I know, ain't that grand? It only took me a few glances of shit like "Motorhead sucks, Lemmy can't sing" and "Jellyfish need to reunite!!!" before I said fuck asking this board for musican opinions. I come here to make fun of old people and occasionally find a new band.
Butthurt much?
GreazyNutz wrote:Dale Jr never calls in to work. Even after his pappy got kilt by Sterling Marlin, he was right back to racin the next week.
User avatar
Kristi Vanian
Spike's Bitch
Posts: 4205
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:48 pm
Location: On my knees in front of Spike

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Kristi Vanian »

What the fuck's with his hair? I just want to scream, "DEEP CONDITIONING TREATMENT!" at him.
User avatar
Endless Yodel
Debut Album Goes Gold
Posts: 3916
Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 5:52 pm

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Endless Yodel »

I appreciate HMJ's attempt at humor, really.
HMJ wrote:Image
However, when whoever is in the audience replies "No." that means that someone is in fact there. A sole speech balloon extending from HMJ's mouth with the words "Is anybody out there? Anybody? Hello..." would've packed far more comedic punch. Helping him right along, I am.
sirrloin wrote: There is a difference between show tunes appreciation and musical theater. If you don't know the difference, you're not very educated.
User avatar
EvilRockPosh
Playing a Package Tour in Arenas
Posts: 12860
Joined: Mon Sep 13, 2004 6:03 pm

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by EvilRockPosh »

Kristi Vicious wrote:What the fuck's with his hair? I just want to scream, "DEEP CONDITIONING TREATMENT!" at him.
:lol:
Nunose wrote: Mon Dec 27, 2021 3:59 am Goddamn this shit is exhausting...and people still believe his shit.

You can tell all the people who have been bought and paid for by big pharma

Kiss
Metal Sludge
etc..
User avatar
MasterOfMeatPuppets
MSX Tour Support Act
Posts: 4249
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:29 pm

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MasterOfMeatPuppets »

Kristi Vicious wrote:What the fuck's with his hair? I just want to scream, "DEEP CONDITIONING TREATMENT!" at him.
The effect of semen on hair seems to be overstated.
ImageImage
User avatar
Kristi Vanian
Spike's Bitch
Posts: 4205
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:48 pm
Location: On my knees in front of Spike

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Kristi Vanian »

Well, all I know is that it seems to work for my hair.


Wait..what?
User avatar
UtahRatt
Playing First Stage at SludgeFest
Posts: 26439
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:51 am

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by UtahRatt »

thewonkytits wrote:Image

Has he ever explained what's going on in that clip? Who thought that was a good idea HMJ? You understand that makes you look like the biggest fucking dolt ever to take stage?
poizond13 wrote:I have been very bummed out, sad and shocked for most of the night
Artemis2085 wrote:so I blurt out "I love you Paul!
Atomicpunk18 wrote:You see Black Crowes music has gotten me laid multiple times.
User avatar
Kristi Vanian
Spike's Bitch
Posts: 4205
Joined: Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:48 pm
Location: On my knees in front of Spike

Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Kristi Vanian »

I'm pretty sure he is the biggest fucking dolt to ever take the stage.
Post Reply