HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

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thewonkytits
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by thewonkytits »

UtahRatt wrote:
thewonkytits wrote:Image

Has he ever explained what's going on in that clip? Who thought that was a good idea HMJ? You understand that makes you look like the biggest fucking dolt ever to take stage?
He marches to the beat of his own shitty drummer.
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CrouchingStonerHiddenBong
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by CrouchingStonerHiddenBong »

His drummer is obviously Peter Criss.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by St_Augustines_Pears »

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:His drummer is obviously Peter Criss.
Or Abe Freshley.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Luminiferous »

Hilarious to actually see HMJ making fun of Fifi Larue's music on Sleazeroxx as if he's some sort of authority on how to be a successful musician.. :lol:
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by CrouchingStonerHiddenBong »

On relationships and counseling:
HMJ wrote:If you have to 'talk' about something....it's over, man.
On the media attacks in Egypt:
Watching the media get shit kicked is awesome. I have waited so long for this. If I was running around in the riot it would be one of those moments...

"Hey wait, who's the cunt with the camera? They want to sell this shit to the world? Fuck him."

And my favorite:

HMJ wrote:I always keep my hair brush with me. Having long hair it irritates me as it gets tangled throughout the day. I probably brush it out once every 2 or 3 hours. If I lose the brush I have to buy a new one right away.
tym wrote:She makes My air head 11 year old Girl look like Nikita Tesla.
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saracapri
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by saracapri »

Image


MARSHA, MARSHA, MARSHA!
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by CrouchingStonerHiddenBong »

From the Drunk Driving thread:
HMJ wrote:
Hilary_Duff_McKagan wrote:
HMJ wrote:If I go out in LA - absolutely. Occasionally I have slept in my car if I thought 'ok, bad idea' but for the most part I drink and drive fairly routinely. But I only go out really hard maybe once every 2-3 weeks.

What the fuck do you expect me to do? Leave my car somewhere? Ride the bus? Pay for a taxi? Fuck that.
So, your entertainment is more important that the life of the other drivers on the street...and their passengers?

Instead of drinking at the clubs, why not wait till you get home to drink? (Are you too weak to resist peer pressure?) Don't want to drink alone? Then invite your friends to your house to drink with you. (What's wrong...your "friends" don't want to come to your place even to drink?) If you can't exercise self control, then you could at least get a hotel room; leave your car there, and get a taxi to and from the bar.
Ok, there is clearly a generation gap here...or age difference. I feel like I am talking to my mother....

-Drink at home? WTF? There is nothing here. I drink when I go out to meet people. Not for the sake of getting trashed. If anything I am trying to meet women - if that doesn't work I settle for a 7-11 sandwich. Why the fuck would I wait until 4am when I got home to START drinking? Retarded.

My friends all live far away. Thank you LA geography. I have to go to them 99% of the time. My main drinking buddy is in Highland Park. We both have to drive to meet somewhere in Hollywood.

Exercise self control? I'd like to see you live a single day in my life. Walk 4 miles to and from work, run 5 miles in 40 minutes at the gym and live off a 10 dollar a day food budget. Also work a full day of getting a newspaper together, band practice, write video treatments and read scripts. I do all that but I am not allowed to have fun? Unless I pay 200 to a cab to get from my house to a bar and back?

Man, seriously fuck you people.
HMJ wrote:Oh boo fucking hoo. This argument, really? Pay for my hotel room and I won't drive then. Thanks.
tym wrote:She makes My air head 11 year old Girl look like Nikita Tesla.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MasterOfMeatPuppets »

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:From the Drunk Driving thread:

HMJ wrote:Oh boo fucking hoo. This argument, really? Pay for my hotel room and I won't drive then. Thanks.
I would be glad to help pay for his cemetery plot if he put it to use forthwith.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Luminiferous »

HMJ wrote:Exercise self control? I'd like to see you live a single day in my life. Walk 4 miles to and from work, run 5 miles in 40 minutes at the gym and live off a 10 dollar a day food budget. Also work a full day of getting a newspaper together, band practice, write video treatments and read scripts. I do all that but I am not allowed to have fun? Unless I pay 200 to a cab to get from my house to a bar and back?

Man, seriously fuck you people.
I've heard some stupid shit said on this board before but this has to rank in the Top 5 of all time..
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by saracapri »

To be fair, I suspect he lives in his car. I mean, who doesn't have a fridge?
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by CrouchingStonerHiddenBong »

I think he has a "Kingpin" type of set up where he buttfucks some ugly old lady so she'll let him sleep in her closet and do his laundry.
tym wrote:She makes My air head 11 year old Girl look like Nikita Tesla.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Luminiferous »

Judging by the look of his khakis in the photo, I'd say she doesn't own a washer either..

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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Gritt »

But he's so dreamy

:oops:
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Iron Duck »

Hahaha. Dude delivers newspapers in his mid-twenties.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MitziDupree »

Says the guy who's a waiter at the Rainforest Cafe.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Iron Duck »

Yup. My being a waiter is clearly taking job opportunities from 8-year-olds.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MitziDupree »

I'm certainly no champion of HMJ, but where the fuck did you get the idea that he delivers newspapers?

If this is true, it could useful information.

Then again, the chances of getting something useful from you are slim to none.


Fucking waiter. Fill up my water glass, boy.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Iron Duck »

By "getting a newspaper together" I assume he means adding the correct flyers and bagging them before delivery. Take it and run, Muttzi.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MitziDupree »

Wow. That was clever. In all my years on Sludge, no one's ever come up with Mutzi. Or Musti. Or Ditzi. Or Bitchi. Or Pissy GoPee.


Way to school me, Rusty Fuck.


Ooh. That was so much fun.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Iron Duck »

Original or not, mine was at least effective in calling you a mutt, which carries with it an implication of canine features. What have you achieved by calling me rusty? It could actually be an excuse for my allegedly poor flaming skills, with the idea that I was once better and have stagnated over an elongated period of time. Thank you for recognising my condition.

In short: HMJ delivers newspapers.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Kristi Vanian »

In short: you're still a dumbass.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by RPB »

Even with a guitar in his hand, he's still unattractive and dirty looking. That's pretty hard to do. Congrats, HMJ!
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Gritt »

Oh stop playing hard to get. You know want to strap one on and ram him from behind whilst pulling his lovely blond locks.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MotleyMaiden »

Sixdgritt wrote:Oh stop playing hard to get. You know want to strap one on and ram him from behind whilst pulling his lovely blond locks.


Strap on a seat belt and ram him from behind with a truck!
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Iron Duck »

Kristi Vicious wrote:In short: you're still a dumbass.
"In. Short." -Your cavemom talking about your conception.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Kristi Vanian »

Umm..what? That makes no fucking sense.

You're still a dumbass.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MitziDupree »

Yes he is.


Which explains why he's a waiter.


At Rainforest Cafe.


He has dreams, though, dammit!
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Iron Duck »

:lol: Dreams are, like jobs, of the, future. So really, in five, years I've, surpassed you.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by Skate4RnR »

HE IGNURNT!
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs

Post by MitziDupree »

Our insults mean nothing to this guy, Skate!

This poor kid is used to dancing like a monkey on the end of a string for greasy dollar bills.

Kowtowing to hordes of overweight, imperious tourists and their sticky, snot nosed spawn in hopes of them leaving a couple of meager, ketchup-smeared bucks under the salt shaker.

It can't get much more humiliating than that. Sludge must seem like a walk in the park.
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