Ho Board Porno Workshop

[chickenona]

Hahaha, I knew you'd dig that one if you saw it. Where was I 19 years ago? Trying out being a dyke I think.

This particular guy is sixty years old and had never tried being a bottom before that. I think a lot of men, especially the ones who grew up during the era of westerns and war movies and the glorification of the macho man are a little afraid of exploring their submissive side for fear of being judged. And I admit that I've harshly judged men in my past who dug that position. Like I said, I only know what I like when I'm in that position and I tried to go from there. It worked well, and I learned that I can really enjoy being more dominant. It was an equal revelation for both of us.

I spent a lot of time when I was younger dreading being this age. I couldn't even imagine people over the age of 40 as sexual beings. Now I'm there and it's like a renaissance in my life. Rather than inhibiting me, growing older has been very liberating.

[chickenona]

I still can't quite fathom the name MALACHI. I mean, that's a whole other level of Jewish.

[chickenona]

Also I would totally stick a soap crayon up your ass anytime, then write about it here. You know that baby. All you have to do is ask.

[amouthfulofsin220]

I understand you're rocking your shit Old Testament School Nona, but just remember that after you're done banging Dr. Jew unto a biblical death, don't think I'm just going to be waiting here willing to sit shiva with you're Hebrew killing time. I'll Jew-Off with any fucking Hymie, even those arrogant beanie wearing dreadlocked motherfuckers, so I don't take kindly to watching another kike getting this much screen time.

[amouthfulofsin220]

I love this thread

[chickenona]

Doc must have been raised in a religous family. Malachi was the last of the 12 minor prophets. His role was to admonish the decaying social mores of his time. Christ, I forgot how much I love talking religion with the whores.

He told me his mother liked the name because its literal Hebrew translation is "My angel". His dad apparently disagreed and started calling him Max when he was really little. I guess the only person besides his mother who called him by that name was that babysitter he fucked.

That's kind of you to offer, but I know where your Jew loving heart is right now.

Well, if you ever want inspiration for your SNF guy, I still have that orange shirt and some lightbulbs, in addition to the soap crayon.

Just remember you have 24 hours to bury the old motherfucker. And make sure to suck the remaining viagra out of the Doc Cock. The dead can't have hard-ons. Its a Talmudic thing.

I'll hit it with a mallet.

I've actually sat shiva before. What was really weird about it was that the dead person was Catholic. The sitting shiva was her best friend's idea, she's Jewish. Doc's fucked her, too, but thankfully not during the sitting shiva.

[amouthfulofsin220]

I'm bored.

Fortunately, the dirtiness of my thoughts is directly proportionate to my boredom, so be prepared for some seriously raunchy smut.

(I feel so sorry for my current paramour when I'm in this mood, but then again, he reaps the benefits in the end.)

[chickenona]

Hahaha, after last week, Burg, I totally understand why you get off on dominating. That was so much fun.

But at heart I'm a bottom I guess. I got my comeuppance good this week. When I have time I'll write about it.

[chickenona]

Goddam, that's easy money right there. I could use a gig like that.

[chickenona]

Hahaha, yeah the gunk is cold.

And mine didn't tell me jack shit. The kid hid on them. I remember sitting in the waiting room before the one they did at the 34-week mark and feeling her just roll right over in my stomach. So when they went to look at the images they got an awesome shot of the back of her head and her ass.

[chickenona]

Hahahaha. I'm planning on being buried facedown.

[Rainbow Bright]

Friday night. A friend of mine named Kat and I went costume shopping. Which was at this little Halloween outlet thing. Where I walked out with an Alice in Wonderland dress. (Alice dress #3 for those keeping score at home)
Later on that evening, after making jello shots for my B-day party, Kat and I decide to go out for the evening. Which of course led to my "goodie bag" Containing a leash, my posture collar, wrist and ankle restraints, various rings and clips to restrict feet and hand movement, a ball gag and an eye mask. All black leather of course.

Anyway, with some assistance from Kat, I was collared, restrained and leashed in my new Alice in Wonderland dress. And she walked me downtown where we went and chilled at our first destination: The Horsehead. Which for some reason specializes in uber hillbilly food. (Deep fried catfish, gumbo and alligator are on the menu) Here, I was trotted around holding our drinks when a gal wanted to snap a picture with me. It was her birthday and she said I was adorable.

After we finish our drinks and get more compliments from the patrons at the joint, we skedaddle to one of my favorite spots since the closure of The Samurai Duck: The Oak Street Speakeasy. On the walk (well a hobble for me) we get stopped by two frat dudes from Utah. They got a few pictures of us because "They don't have shit like that in Utah." Kat explained that we were an S&M item while I looked pretty. One guy didn't get it and looked scared. The other gave the thumbs up and broke it down to his friend.

We get to the bar, where I get drunk, and have to turn down offers to be walked around outside. On the basis that Kat wouldn't allow it. All in all, a good night.

[chickenona]

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[chickenona]

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[chickenona]

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[Rainbow Bright]

Chickie, I recommend going for a walk with Doc. On The leash. Its a kick in the pants.

[chickenona]

If we're ever out of town together - something we've been scheming to make happen when it's timed just right to coincide with the fifteen minutes when we both have more than twenty bucks to spare and enough time to hang out for at least a full day - I'd definitely be down. I don't know if he would be though. He's discreet to a fault. A lifetime of cheating on two wives has left him skilled in the art of locking doors and covering his ass.

Now, can I just say GODDAM.

That man could kill and eat a baby in front of me and I'd drink his fucking bathwater. Dirty evil sex monkey son of a BITCH. Tell me that wouldn't make your goddam head blow up. I mean, he left the fucking suit on. And fucking making me thank him and pulling me on a leash and choking me on his dick while I'm trying to pee. GODDAM.

I thought I'd done a good job last week. But old Malachi has fucking schooled me again. I'd give me a B minus at best after that shit. He's the king, man.

PS I really wish I'd peed in the grass.

[Rainbow Bright]

ROFLCOPTER. Joe sent another amusing message. This shit is amazing.

My Very Dearest Cum Slut Whore Doll Rainbow,



My Fuck Doll, I command that you becum my Decadent Super Trophy Bimbo Slut Whore -- sluttiest, trashiest, nastiest, hedonistic, sinful cock candy whore in heat. I am looking for a nasty, trashy “teased up” platinum blond cock whore with ultra micro minis that are never too short and large breasts that are never too big. I want to display my Bimbo Slut Whore for all to see --- fondling and feeling you up in public --- fucking and sucking --- and whoring you to friends.



Oh, my Bimbo Fuck Doll, I want to fulfill your dreams, including large implant HH tits with pierced silver dollar nipples, your waist reduced surgically (even Barbi would be jealous) and your hot whorey lips pumped up to the max -- creating a red whorey bulbous pout that appears that you are always sucking an invisible cock. Your hair will be volumized with hair extensions and hair weaves into a large teased up foot high platinum blond hair do. Your 6 inch slut claws will be grown to 9 inches. Your feet will be surgically modified so that you will be very comfortable in 9 and 10 inch heels, will no longer be able to walk in any shoe or boot with less than 6 inch heels. Your eye brows will be shaved and permanent black highly arched eye brows will be tattooed on your slut face. Eventually heavy whore make up will also be tattooed on your slut face, but you’ll insist on enhancing your permanent make up with dramatic accents.



For breakfast you have hot cum. After I fuck you red bulbous whore lips and you swallow my throbbing cock's cum, we will passionately French kiss while I finger your ass and rub your clit to completion. Daddy will then fuck your slut pussy ass hole, ramming my Bimbo Slut Whore against the red velvet wall of your room with force. As we cum, you shake with pleasure and scream obscenities that only Satan could have authored.



Two large gold poles are located in the center of your red velvet walled bed room with mirrored ceiling and floor. During the daytime, I tie my Bimbo Whore against the poles with your legs tie with coarse rope so that your slut crotch is wide open for a e-camera to photograph online. You are wearing custom 16 inch heeled black velvet short ballet boots. Since your legs are lashed tightly against the gold poles with rope, my Bimbo Slut Whore has no trouble standing straight up in 15 inch ballet boots. Each hand with, now, 7 in slut claws is tied tightly with red velvet rope that is threaded through a pulley in the ceiling and back down to where the velvet rope is tie my Bimbo Slut Whores large nose ring. Such is the position of the velvet rope, that if you try to rest or relax your arms, the pulley driven rope will yank the large nose ring from you nose leaving a large hole --- thus the Bimbo Slut Whore must spend most of her limited mental capacity on positioning her arms such that her nose does not hurt.



My Slut Whore is wearing a special black velvet bra (size HH) where the short 1/8 inch sharp pins are sew in erect so that all 200 stinging pins fully penetrate your soft flesh tits while velvet touches tit flesh in between the pins. A large black dildo is lodged into your throat and held in place by you red lipstick bulbous whore lips. To take care of your clit rod, Daddy hooks up a large ring around your cock with alligator clips that clip on your balls. Yes, my Bimbo Slut Whore, a another electrode was hooked to a large stainless steel dildo that I inserted in your whorey ass. With a remote control, I apply pulsing electrical current to the device that sends a current to your clit. As I increase the current to pulses become more rapid and shorter in duration until you explode with cum --- shooting gobs of cum across the room. Because my Bimbo Slut Whore soiled her room with cum, Daddy must whip the Whore with a whip made of velvet strips that tickle, rather than mar my Whores body --- but the whipping caused even more sluttish activities --- the Bimbo Slut Whore excretes a mixture of cum and piss from her pussy as she shakes with pleasure.



In the evening, we will go out to a dance club. You will be dressed in fishnet stockings and day-glow pink velvet check shorts only slightly larger than a thong. Matching fingerless gloves and a velvet bra top (with openings for your nipples and nipple jewelry to be exposed and dangling from the center of your huge tits complete the outfit. Matching custom 9-inch chrome steel heeled pink velvet platform boots covered with rhinestones will adorn your legs. A white mink biker jacket with matching pink velvet trim adorns my Bimbo Slut’s body.



After embellishing your tattooed make-up with additional heavy whore make up, your platinum blond hair is teased as large as possible. A 5-inch rhinestone collar with a D Ring and 5 inch rhinestone bracelets are added to your outfit. A pink velvet leash is attached to the D Ring and is used to lovingly display and control my Whorey Bimbo Slut. On each 9-inch claw are at least two large karat rings. Around your cock is a large gold ring with a 7-karat stone.



When we arrive at the club you start to dance in the most sluttish fashion, open your enhanced bulbous Fuck Red Whore lips wide in a simulated sucking fashion, and grinding your booty ass into my pant cover cock, right on the dance floor. Then my Bimbo Tramp turns around and knees in front of my cock and continues the sucking motion with her bulbous red lips and pierced tongue. My whore then unzips my pants and my rod plunges out greeting my Cock Sucking Fuck Whore. As you open your enhanced bulbous Fuck Red Whore lips wide and insert my throbbing cock into your fuck hole lips, the club crowd cheer and watches with decedent pleasure. Bimbo Fuck Whore Tramp is the best blow job around. Then you crawl over to me and I help you up. We then French kiss, enjoying the grand exhibition and display of my nasty Bimbo Fuck Whore Slut. By now the entire club has followed your decedent example and is fornicating throughout the club.



You have drawn the attention of 10 men who each proposition you to suck, fuck and use you for all their pleasures in a private club room upstairs. Your private whoring income and my six figure income will keep my Bimbo Whore Slut in a decadent and lustful style. During the evening, you would drink vodka cock-tails made with my pee. After all of the men and I have used you, you would lie naked on the carpeted floor while I cum on your Whorey body. Then I fuck your whore booty pussy ass, As I ram my cock into your hole and induce the ultimate sinful pleasure, my Whore’s body starts to shake with pleasure as your 9 inch chrome steel slut heels thrash in the air and your 9 inch claw nails uncontrollably shake with uncontrolled pleasure. After the cum dried, you would dress and we would return home to your velvet and mirrored room where you would be showered and place in your plush velvet cage. What a filthy nasty Bimbo Slut Whore Tramp ....



Lovingly,



Joe



XOXOXOXOXOXOX

[chickenona]

Doc's going away for a while next month. I'm going to insist that while he's gone every email he sends me opens with "My Very Dearest Cum Slut Whore Doll Chickenona". I will delete without opening any that aren't, goddammit.

What site does this crazy bastard lurk on?

[Rainbow Bright]

Doc's going away for a while next month. I'm going to insist that while he's gone every email he sends me opens with "My Very Dearest Cum Slut Whore Doll Chickenona". I will delete without opening any that aren't, goddammit.

What site does this crazy bastard lurk on?

Collarme.com Its a S&M personals site. It was pretty much the de facto until Fetlife opened up.

[ralphwiggumsdealer]

Sorry to change subject but I just noticed that rbo has taken over the reins from itwalks. Congrats...or something.

I think maybe I'll try and come up with a story....if DRS doesn't accept it, I'll post it here.

[chickenona]

ItJOGS. Not ItWALKS. Important distinction, Ralphie. Itjogs is an awesome dude who could give my Doc a run for his money in sheer Hebrew pimpitude. Itwalks is a summer-toothed coot who could give my Katey a run for her money in sheer volume of soiled Depends.

But for the record yes, the torch was passed to RBO because Itjogs had important Hebrew pimpin' obligations to fulfill and RBO has her cum slut whore doll nine-inch claw fingernail on the pulse of all that's morally bankrupt.

And we're still waiting for you to finish the first story you started on here, even if you did totally steal it from Heavy Metal.

[ralphwiggumsdealer]

Eeesh. I really have to stop doing that itwalks-itjogs thing.

This time, however, I've got a valid excuse. You see, I've just bought a new econoline van for me and my bandmates to tour around in....

[Rainbow Bright]

ItJOGS. Not ItWALKS. Important distinction, Ralphie. Itjogs is an awesome dude who could give my Doc a run for his money in sheer Hebrew pimpitude. Itwalks is a summer-toothed coot who could give my Katey a run for her money in sheer volume of soiled Depends.

I dunno. I think Katey and myself outdo Old Man River.

[SugarMama]

He's discreet to a fault. A lifetime of cheating on two wives has left him skilled in the art of locking doors and covering his ass.

So the first time my now husband, then boyfriend who was married and I ever spent a night together, he kept looking out the motel window. I asked him "What are you looking for? The adultery police?" I thought it was witty.

[chickenona]

It's funny how these guys haven't grasped that the wives probably don't care half as much as they think they do.

[chickenona]

ItJOGS. Not ItWALKS. Important distinction, Ralphie. Itjogs is an awesome dude who could give my Doc a run for his money in sheer Hebrew pimpitude. Itwalks is a summer-toothed coot who could give my Katey a run for her money in sheer volume of soiled Depends.

I dunno. I think Katey and myself outdo Old Man River.

You know, you're probably right. However, note that it's still a two-person job.

[SugarMama]

It's funny how these guys haven't grasped that the wives probably don't care half as much as they think they do.

Yeah, when all was said and done, and he asked her for a divorce, she really didn't fight him that hard on it. And in the end, she was the one who filed and paid for everything.

However, for quite a few years after they actually split, she would call him at work on their wedding anniversary and remind him that they "were still married in the eyes of God." Once he and I actually got married, the calls stopped altogether. Knowing what I know, whether she'd believe me or not, she's so much better off.

Anyway. I got this way off topic. Sorry.

[chickenona]

No you didn't. There's no such thing as off-topic here.

[chickenona]

You sonsabitches. The best mindfuck I ever had and no comments for three days. Tough room.