Metal Sludge Gossip Board

exitflagger wrote:

amouthfulofsin220 wrote:I never explicitly said Stoner is ugly, I just used it as an example of the worthlessness of opinion in cases like this.

I saw that pre-backpeddle and don't buy it.

Couching insults in a "What if I said this?" context doesn't even work on the playground, dear. You're still gonna end up with a bloody nose. Own what you say or shut your piehole.

MotleyMaiden wrote:Are you sure you don't want to sling some insults? You could always call someone and epileptic or diabetic. I mean that would be hilarious right?

amouthfulofsin220 wrote:
For that matter, the whole ugly, fat, and old argument is utterly ridiculous and a bit immature for you -- and again, a matter of opinion, not fact...

I could say on the photo thread that I find you unnattractive. I mean, really fucking ugly, with stupid hair and bad makeup... Seriously, pink frosted lipstick went out of style in 1984...*tsk tsk* Really go all out, glutted with a sense of my own superiority and intelligence.

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:God knows you don't get shit in every single thread you've ever posted on around here or anything.

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:You might as well go to a baseball game and bitch about people playing baseball.

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:although I have no doubts that you own a fine array of Wet n Wild and Artmatic lipsticks that you could swatch for the class in the name of haute couture.

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:There will be no vilification of men in this thread - only slack-dumpered broads.

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:There will be no vilification of men in this thread - only slack-dumpered broads.

chickenona wrote:So it's okay for somebody who hates the thread to come in and call everyone who posts on it ugly - including people she's sucked up to and called attractive before - but not okay for somebody defending the thread to counter with the same insult?

Jolt - we did have a lot of humor and parody posts on this thread. We had all different kinds of people posting all different kinds of porn, and some of the people maligning it now were hanging out and enjoying most of it.

amouthfulofsin220 wrote:I quoted what I wrote before so that it's obvious to anyone with advanced reading comprehension skills that I wasn't actually calling her ugly. I was just using it as an example of how retarded it is to go in that way. The reason you saw the 'backpeddle' coming is because it wasn't a backpeddle, Exitflagger.

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:There will be no vilification of men in this thread - only slack-dumpered broads.

Jolt wrote: Yeah back in the day-it was pretty awesome. Bad poetry porn, bad S&M porn, and just bad silly porn. *sigh* Did it make me hard=not so much. Did I laugh a lot=YES! Please stop fighting; unless you can parlay that into a story where MS chicks are spanking each other with bare hands, rubber hoses, paddles, etc. It's all in the holiday spirit of giving, you know.

chickenona wrote:

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:There will be no vilification of men in this thread - only slack-dumpered broads.

Isn't that a fucking surprise.

Jolt wrote: Yeah back in the day-it was pretty awesome. Bad poetry porn, bad S&M porn, and just bad silly porn. *sigh* Did it make me hard=not so much. Did I laugh a lot=YES! Please stop fighting; unless you can parlay that into a story where MS chicks are spanking each other with bare hands, rubber hoses, paddles, etc. It's all in the holiday spirit of giving, you know.

How do you know what it was like "back in the day"? You joined in October.

deathcurse wrote:I have to admit, the crazy bitch has talent.

chickenona wrote:The Man Who Fucked Me with His Hard Dick

by vickenona

It was a hot humid sweltering hot day in the hills of Vermont and I was as horny as a two-dicked dog that hadn't been shot in the head yet by me. The damn fridge busted again and I says to my old man "You break the fridge agin?" And he says "No, not me, bitch." And I says "You broke the damn fridge agin and now we gotta break into our pill money, you dumb motherfucker!" He says "Bitch, I ain't breakin no fridge." I says "YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR. YOU'RE LYING TO ME." So he says "I'll call the repair man and he'll fix it. Don't be givin me no lip no more, you old bitch."

So I am waitin and waitin for the fridge man to show up and I catch a rerun of Designin Women that ain't seen yet and boy did I laugh. I says "LOL @ this show that's very funny." I like when my stories are on because I can snort some Oxys and just really mellow out nice.

Just when my favorite tater chip commercial comes on, I get a knock on the doorframe. We ain't go no door on account of my old man getting drunk on rye and throwing me through it when I accuse him of takin my last Percodan so's I appreciate when people knock because they can just walk in and we would be out 30 dollars if they stole all our shit. Which we stole but that ain't no matter. But this man he must be a real GENTLEMAN and I can see that because his pants are pressed real fancy.

The man at the door was pudgy but like I says I was fixin to get FUCKED so I lean up against our stove all sexylike. He says "You got the broken fridge?" I says "Yeah" while rubbing my hands all over my tits. I knew there would be a man comin over so I put on my best plaid dollar store shirt, the one I got married in. My tits were busting out, my bra pushed to the limits of what it can hold. They was pokin out like two bald groundhogs. It was Groundhog Day and the channel 9 weather guy says "Looks like 6 more weeks of HOT FUCKING."

"You like what you see?" I says all coque...coquett...all sexylike and he says "Um, what is the problem with this here fridge?" I says "It needs to be filled with meat just like my pussy." He says "Lady, I ain't ever fucked no Down Syndrome before." I says "Motherfucker, I ain't no Down Syndrome. I grew up so poor my folks couldn't AFFORD no extra chromosome." He says "LOL @ what you just said." I says "So you wanna fuck this hot pussy or not?" He says "Okay but what about that fat guy passed out in the livin room?" I says "He's cool. If he wakes up, he'll just watch and jerk off."

I unbuttoned my wedding shirt and unlatched my bra and my grandma titties flopped down to my massive hairy gunt. The fridge man took one look at me and lost his damn lunch. Musta had corn because in a Tallahassee minute my fat rolls had chunks of damn corn in them. I had that happen on Great White's bus back in '86 so I knew what to do. I starts rubbin the corn and mess all over my titties but not before I puke my damn self. Not because of the fridge man's cornpuke but because I was all fucked up on pills. I took this mixture of my oatmeal puke and the fridge man's corn and rub it all over my titties so I can get this motherfucker harder than 7th grade math.

He says "You smell like fucking hogshit. Get cleaned up and I'll fuck you." I says "Our shower is busted but you can hose me off out back if you like." He says "I guess" and we go outside and he hoses me off in the yard. I ain't worried about no neighbors. They're a bunch of fucking stuck-up fuckers who always calls the po-lice when me and my old man are beating the shit out each other or listening to the Marshall Tucker Band too loud. I figure they can go fuck themselves if they think they're gonna get between me fucking the fridge guy.

The hose water hits me and it's real cold, cold like my freezer useta be before my fucking old man busted it, and it makes my hairy brown nipples poke out all hard, hard like 7th grade math. My nipples are nice and big like the girls I used to see in the National Gegraphic books down at the 'bortion clinic. Okay so he lays me right there on the lawn and pulls out his pecker which looks like one of them foosball men from Bud's Tap down on 6th St. Me and my old man liketa go there and nod off sometimes.

So the fridge man sticks his foosball guy in my pussy but it ain't goin nowhere on account of me running dry on lube about 14 years ago. I says "No matter" and grab some mud from where we was runnin the hose. I put the mud on his dick and start jerkin him off to get him hard agin on account of him gettin soft from starin at my stretch marks too long. I tell you what, yer better off lookin at the sun than my stretch marks. Motherfucker, it ain't a pretty sight but I'm just how the Goddess made my ass so deal with it, bitch.

He gets hard and starts fuckin me and I says "Don't be pullin on my wig now." I notice he closin his eyes and grittin his teeth, real concentratin like. I says "You like this mudpussy?" He says "Don't talk" and I don't because I don't want him to stop cause I'm about to cum. Now you may say "Bitch, you lyin" but I swear on that busted old Datsun old there that I cummed so hard I shit all over the place. It stunk to high heaven, green shit all underneath my ass. But I didn't care none. I was so happy and glad it was like the day the 7-11 made corndogs 2 for 3 dollars. I made my dollar holler that day, oh boy.

He says "Oh fuck!" and I says "LOL @ the shit that just came out of my asshole." I says "You can hose me off agin if you like" and he says "Just suck me off so I can leave" so I did. I sucked him off real good, took out my dentures and everythin. He shot hot sperm in my mouth and I swallowed it like an old sow. He looked at me with disgust and turned around to see my old man with a hand full of sperm his damn self. I go over there and lick that shit up because it's good sperm and I won't have to heat up no macaroni tonight on account of me gettin my protein.

The fridge man looked real depressed-like and he went inside actin all funny. I says to my old man "What critter crawled up his ass?" and we go inside to see him eyeballin the rifle that's leanin up against the kitchen counter from when I shot my dog. Now I seen a lot of shit but I swear I never seen nothin like this old boy takin that gun and puttin in his mouth and pullin the damn trigger. Right before he did that he had a look in his eyes like he seen somethin real bad like in a nightmare. I says to my old man "Goddamn it, now I got to clean this shit up. Go and git some towels from the shed."

Then I realized, goddamn it, I should have had him fix the fridge first.

Anyway, so that's my story. Hope you liked it.

Hi honey! Mommy loves you!

Inessence wrote:This story just belongs in here. Merry Fuckin' Christmas!

deathcurse wrote:I have to admit, the crazy bitch has talent.

chickenona wrote:The Man Who Fucked Me with His Hard Dick

by vickenona

It was a hot humid sweltering hot day in the hills of Vermont and I was as horny as a two-dicked dog that hadn't been shot in the head yet by me. The damn fridge busted again and I says to my old man "You break the fridge agin?" And he says "No, not me, bitch." And I says "You broke the damn fridge agin and now we gotta break into our pill money, you dumb motherfucker!" He says "Bitch, I ain't breakin no fridge." I says "YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR. YOU'RE LYING TO ME." So he says "I'll call the repair man and he'll fix it. Don't be givin me no lip no more, you old bitch."

So I am waitin and waitin for the fridge man to show up and I catch a rerun of Designin Women that ain't seen yet and boy did I laugh. I says "LOL @ this show that's very funny." I like when my stories are on because I can snort some Oxys and just really mellow out nice.

Just when my favorite tater chip commercial comes on, I get a knock on the doorframe. We ain't go no door on account of my old man getting drunk on rye and throwing me through it when I accuse him of takin my last Percodan so's I appreciate when people knock because they can just walk in and we would be out 30 dollars if they stole all our shit. Which we stole but that ain't no matter. But this man he must be a real GENTLEMAN and I can see that because his pants are pressed real fancy.

The man at the door was pudgy but like I says I was fixin to get FUCKED so I lean up against our stove all sexylike. He says "You got the broken fridge?" I says "Yeah" while rubbing my hands all over my tits. I knew there would be a man comin over so I put on my best plaid dollar store shirt, the one I got married in. My tits were busting out, my bra pushed to the limits of what it can hold. They was pokin out like two bald groundhogs. It was Groundhog Day and the channel 9 weather guy says "Looks like 6 more weeks of HOT FUCKING."

"You like what you see?" I says all coque...coquett...all sexylike and he says "Um, what is the problem with this here fridge?" I says "It needs to be filled with meat just like my pussy." He says "Lady, I ain't ever fucked no Down Syndrome before." I says "Motherfucker, I ain't no Down Syndrome. I grew up so poor my folks couldn't AFFORD no extra chromosome." He says "LOL @ what you just said." I says "So you wanna fuck this hot pussy or not?" He says "Okay but what about that fat guy passed out in the livin room?" I says "He's cool. If he wakes up, he'll just watch and jerk off."

I unbuttoned my wedding shirt and unlatched my bra and my grandma titties flopped down to my massive hairy gunt. The fridge man took one look at me and lost his damn lunch. Musta had corn because in a Tallahassee minute my fat rolls had chunks of damn corn in them. I had that happen on Great White's bus back in '86 so I knew what to do. I starts rubbin the corn and mess all over my titties but not before I puke my damn self. Not because of the fridge man's cornpuke but because I was all fucked up on pills. I took this mixture of my oatmeal puke and the fridge man's corn and rub it all over my titties so I can get this motherfucker harder than 7th grade math.

He says "You smell like fucking hogshit. Get cleaned up and I'll fuck you." I says "Our shower is busted but you can hose me off out back if you like." He says "I guess" and we go outside and he hoses me off in the yard. I ain't worried about no neighbors. They're a bunch of fucking stuck-up fuckers who always calls the po-lice when me and my old man are beating the shit out each other or listening to the Marshall Tucker Band too loud. I figure they can go fuck themselves if they think they're gonna get between me fucking the fridge guy.

The hose water hits me and it's real cold, cold like my freezer useta be before my fucking old man busted it, and it makes my hairy brown nipples poke out all hard, hard like 7th grade math. My nipples are nice and big like the girls I used to see in the National Gegraphic books down at the 'bortion clinic. Okay so he lays me right there on the lawn and pulls out his pecker which looks like one of them foosball men from Bud's Tap down on 6th St. Me and my old man liketa go there and nod off sometimes.

So the fridge man sticks his foosball guy in my pussy but it ain't goin nowhere on account of me running dry on lube about 14 years ago. I says "No matter" and grab some mud from where we was runnin the hose. I put the mud on his dick and start jerkin him off to get him hard agin on account of him gettin soft from starin at my stretch marks too long. I tell you what, yer better off lookin at the sun than my stretch marks. Motherfucker, it ain't a pretty sight but I'm just how the Goddess made my ass so deal with it, bitch.

He gets hard and starts fuckin me and I says "Don't be pullin on my wig now." I notice he closin his eyes and grittin his teeth, real concentratin like. I says "You like this mudpussy?" He says "Don't talk" and I don't because I don't want him to stop cause I'm about to cum. Now you may say "Bitch, you lyin" but I swear on that busted old Datsun old there that I cummed so hard I shit all over the place. It stunk to high heaven, green shit all underneath my ass. But I didn't care none. I was so happy and glad it was like the day the 7-11 made corndogs 2 for 3 dollars. I made my dollar holler that day, oh boy.

He says "Oh fuck!" and I says "LOL @ the shit that just came out of my asshole." I says "You can hose me off agin if you like" and he says "Just suck me off so I can leave" so I did. I sucked him off real good, took out my dentures and everythin. He shot hot sperm in my mouth and I swallowed it like an old sow. He looked at me with disgust and turned around to see my old man with a hand full of sperm his damn self. I go over there and lick that shit up because it's good sperm and I won't have to heat up no macaroni tonight on account of me gettin my protein.

The fridge man looked real depressed-like and he went inside actin all funny. I says to my old man "What critter crawled up his ass?" and we go inside to see him eyeballin the rifle that's leanin up against the kitchen counter from when I shot my dog. Now I seen a lot of shit but I swear I never seen nothin like this old boy takin that gun and puttin in his mouth and pullin the damn trigger. Right before he did that he had a look in his eyes like he seen somethin real bad like in a nightmare. I says to my old man "Goddamn it, now I got to clean this shit up. Go and git some towels from the shed."

Then I realized, goddamn it, I should have had him fix the fridge first.

Anyway, so that's my story. Hope you liked it.

Hi honey! Mommy loves you!

chickenona wrote: We made excellent time and my trucker wished me godspeed as I traversed the entrance of the resort, after having appropriated the maroon velvet curtains lining his sleeper compartment to fashion myself a makeshift Queen Amidala kimono. He wasn't thrilled about it but my blowjob had had a Vulcan-neck-pinch effect on him and all he could do was sit staring dolefully as I wound the smokey bolts of maroon around my 39-26-39 figure and wound my hair into Danish-shaped formations at the crown of my head.

The main festivities of the first day of the convention were already drawing to a close, so the front doors of the main building of Mandalay Bay were disgorging Obi Wans, Princess Leias and stormtroopers onto the neon-washed sidewalk at a furious rate. A sad-sack bouncer was balefully trying to impress two pimply virgin lads by regaling them with tales of his fitness-model, MMF-threesome-loving wife, sweat stains forming deep rings in the armpits of his cheap suit. I started to approach him to ask him where he figured most of these geeks would be going to party, but before I could interrupt his sorry monologue about ass-reaming a nineteen-year-old model as she chowed his wife's box in the middle of a gang war, I cocked my head to the side and caught a glimpse of...HIM.

He was impossible to miss as he stood by the slots, carefully lubing up his Darth Vader mask with Purell from the dispenser on the end. I knew just by looking at him that this was no ordinary Star Wars nerd. This would be a night I'd never forget.

I knew what I had to do. I staked out my place at the opposite end of the row of slots and began Purelling the fuck out of my kimono and hair buns, shooting mutual eyefucks back and forth with my Darth Vader.