Metal Sludge Gossip Board

Lacks everything that made the original so good.
2/10

I watched the 1st half of the original last night. Cheesier than a block of cheddar that's been left in the sun for a week. But fun all the same. I can't imagine why anyone thought a reboot was even vaguely necessary.

Watching it in a couple hours with the girlfriend. Expectations are low but we've each got our poison of choice (edible for her, bourbon and Arrogant Bastard for me) and I think the worse it is, the more we're going to enjoy it. I've pretty much lost interest in movies and TV shows but I've got to admit I'm curious about this one knowing how close our generation holds this movie to our collective hearts. Here's hoping to a cameo by Sam Elliott.

Literally the only thing I know about Road House.

I love the original for being a party on film: 1989 style and hair, bar fights, predictable bad guy, Jeff Healey Band, and more. I'll probably check this out eventually. I predict a steroid version remake. Same general story, but stronger violence, sex, whatever to pacify today's dumber movie watcher.

No reason to watch without Kelly Lynch.

TravisBicklesMohawk wrote: ↑Tue Mar 26, 2024 9:24 am No reason to watch without Kelly Lynch.

Time is a bitch

GoodJudge wrote: ↑Fri Mar 22, 2024 2:30 pm I watched the 1st half of the original last night. Cheesier than a block of cheddar that's been left in the sun for a week. But fun all the same. I can't imagine why anyone thought a reboot was even vaguely necessary.

Precisely. The studio thought that the original was so bad that it nearly wasn't greenlit. It's the ultimate good-bad movie. I can't watch a remake. I won't.

TooOldToCare wrote: ↑Tue Mar 26, 2024 12:59 pm

TravisBicklesMohawk wrote: ↑Tue Mar 26, 2024 9:24 am No reason to watch without Kelly Lynch.

Time is a bitch

Just take a look at Kelly McGillis first, and Lynch is still a damn dime piece.

Fuck Connor McGregor and CGI fight scenes...

Tried to watch it today. Couldn't finish. They tried to make it funny with the new Dalton saying cheesy lines before the fights. Isn't funny and the fight scenes are worse than the original.

HueyRamone wrote: ↑Tue Mar 26, 2024 3:39 pm Just take a look at Kelly McGillis first, and Lynch is still a damn dime piece.

Oh yeah, she pigged out. Though I thought she was one step from soccer mom in Top Gun.

Would have been better with Rhea Ripley not UFC dork

Colin Macgregor was embarrassing in this movie. So cringe!

Colin Macgregor was embarrassing in this movie. So cringe!

Grendel wrote: ↑Fri Mar 29, 2024 6:00 pm Colin Macgregor was embarrassing in this movie. So cringe!

The whole movie was imo

HueyRamone wrote: ↑Tue Mar 26, 2024 3:39 pm

TooOldToCare wrote: ↑Tue Mar 26, 2024 12:59 pm

TravisBicklesMohawk wrote: ↑Tue Mar 26, 2024 9:24 am No reason to watch without Kelly Lynch.

Time is a bitch

Just take a look at Kelly McGillis first, and Lynch is still a damn dime piece.

Yeah she's 65 ffs. The bangs aren't doing her any favors, and whatever her plastic surgeon did, he gave her a man's jaw.

Fun fact: her husband (Mitch Glazer) is a Hollywood producer and old friend of Bill Murray, and whenever Road House is on TV, one of the Murray bros. will call them up during the scene where she's getting railed in the barn and let them know it's on

Kelly Lynch has always had a prominent jawline that's not surgery. I'm not a fan of the bangs either but if you zoom in they're covering forehead lines so that's probably why they're there. But for a 65 year old woman wearing minimal makeup she's looks pretty good if you ask me. She doesn't have a Grandma look at all.

That got me curious about Julie Michaels who played Denise and she's holding up well for her age too. White hair but it looks fine. I was today years old when I learned she was the girl in the shower in Point Break. I didn't know she was a stunt woman. That's cool.

It was ridiculous but let's not act like the original was a masterpiece. I liked it well enough but I was 11 when I first saw it so there is some nostalgic value. How anyone could watch that movie as an adult and think of it as a classic is beyond me.

I did like the MCGregor line ''It's been a while since I've been clubbing'' as he picks up a golf club and heads to the Road House, that was as good (bad) a line as any from the 80s.

''Who taught you shapes?'' was alright too.

I like how Ellie, the thirsty doctor, was born and raised in Glass Key but had a fresh off the boat accent, and then they cast Joaquim de Almeida as her father for consistency purposes lol. Why not just pick any 'Murican bitch, it's not like there's a shortage of them. That casting choice made no sense whatsoever.

I thought it was dumb that they covered up Colin's gorilla tattoo and they replaced the Macgregor tattoo with Knox Knox Knox.

I watched it yes its ridiculous but fun. Even watched it to the very last scene where *spoiler* McGregor walks out of the hospital with his butt out in the hospital gown. Jake Gyllenhaal is playing a sad sack yet again but a very jacked sad sack. Much easier to imagine him beating bad guys up than little Patrick Swayze. This didn't have slutty girls like the original which probably factors in when people say the new version sucks.

MacGregor couldn't decide whether to use his native accent or try for American, and it makes every scene he's in seem like an outtake.

TooOldToCare wrote: ↑Tue Mar 26, 2024 12:59 pm

TravisBicklesMohawk wrote: ↑Tue Mar 26, 2024 9:24 am No reason to watch without Kelly Lynch.

Time is a bitch

Karl Logan looks better than expected!

jens wrote: ↑Tue Apr 09, 2024 10:13 am [Karl Logan looks better than expected!

Prison can have that affect on one's beauty.

God Julie Michaels was hot in the original! I couldn't believe Wesley gave her a shiner.

So is McGregor done fighting in UFC or what? He has had like 4 fights in 5 years and lost 3 of them. So did he hang it up for the simpler life of sexual assaults and coke binges?

Made some popcorn, cooked some ribs, had some bourbon and beer, watched the original and loved it even more than I remembered.

Kept the party going with a viewing of the Stallone masterpiece Over the Top. Man, those guys were cool.

Making ribs as we speak and watching the Amazon “remake”. I’m 50 minutes into it. This is NOT a remake. It’s barely even the same story line. Just call it Key West Road House or something.

They #metoo’d the fuck out of it. Why did they feel the need to make this so interracial?

This has nothing on the original. Don’t worry, Mr. Swayze. Rest in peace, my friend. Nobody puts Road House in the corner.

DonJuanDeMarco wrote: ↑Wed Apr 17, 2024 1:27 pm

They #metoo’d the fuck out of it. Why did they feel the need to make this so interracial?

You prefer your Roadhouse whites only?

DonJuanDeMarco wrote: ↑Wed Apr 17, 2024 1:27 pm
They #metoo’d the fuck out of it. Why did they feel the need to make this so interracial?

You're a little confused there, chief. #metoo and interracial mixing are different things really.

mullet_head wrote: ↑Wed Apr 17, 2024 11:23 pm

DonJuanDeMarco wrote: ↑Wed Apr 17, 2024 1:27 pm
They #metoo’d the fuck out of it. Why did they feel the need to make this so interracial?

You're a little confused there, chief. #metoo and interracial mixing are different things really.

I just meant that they softened it too much. The original was a bunch of rowdy white rednecks in a dive bar. Now it was a bunch of young, multi racial people in a Key West resort town. It really didn't scream "road house" to me.

I really like Jake too. He was insanely good in Southpaw. I figured he would pay a character more like that. He played it too nice and polite.

That was on first viewing though! Who knows... I might watch is a year from now and appreciate it!

I liked it.