Metal Sludge Gossip Board

Also known as dot, knuckles.is.contractual., Chuck Klosterman doppelganger, and a slew of other names I'm sure.
He committed e-seppuku like a knightly fool somewhere back in the deathcurse/steve drama timeline, and didn't even really say goodbye. And I haven't heard a peep from him since.
Do you still haunt this place, knuckman? Where art thou?

Don't worry...

... he'll turn up one of these days.




















Aww, fuckit.



Let's just get naked.

Ok, seriously, where is the knuckman? Knuck if u Buck.

There are many things wrong with this thread and so I hate it.

1. There is only one of them.
2. Only 2 people posted in it!
3. It was posted like a long time ago.

That shit is fucked up.

Wooshley, I don't have anything to follow that up. I just wanted to call you Wooshley.

Woosh. I am reading your post history in search of this famous meltdown you supposedly had. I have noticed several uses of "dad-rock", a phrase I most vehemently do not condone. Did you have no role-models at all for the last however many years it's been since I was banned? It's only now that I have learned shame for the events of whenever it was.

I hate the day I asked to be let back in. I was prepared to be unremembered. This... this "dad-rock" hooey... I could never be prepared for this.

I have forgiven you 97%, Woosh, but if we ever meet I will have to punch you in the face in order to finish the forgiving. That's just the way it is.

Anyways. If I was here you would have known.

Woosh. I just realized that you accuse me of being so devoid of grace that I would leave this place, revered and hallowed, without so much as goodbye. How dare you? I stand aggrieved. I want you ravaged by a 19" 2 pound penis.

I said a goodbye. I went to chat on the evening of banishment to bid a loving farewell to old friends. Nobody gave a quarter fuck so I STFU, GTFO, and went off to sulk for a couple years. Like not even a "that sucks". I totally forgot about that until I typed it just now. You know what? You guys are kind of jerks!

Were you the Magilla Gorilla poster too?

You take that back right now.

Sorry. You're funnier than he ever was anyway.

To be fair, I don't think he ever was going for funny. I used to try really, really hard to be funny. And like 10 people ever thought I was .

Okay, Woosh. I've mostly forgiven you again. You're racking up a bit of a debt to be paid the first time we meet in person. I suggest you stop trying so hard to offend me. As of today I owe you a punch in the face and a mean, too-on-the-nose yo' momma.

Why do you make me do these things to you, Woosh?

I don't fucking look like a fucking farter, Woosh.

Woosh, I'm starting to feel that I don't think I was prepared to be this unremembered. I'm getting the impression that might have just been some tough talk.

Anyways, I hope you're not dead like everybody else is.

Woosh. I left for you here a little bit of my heart and soul. I know it wasn't always pretty, but I'm a dark and complicated man. Anyways Woosh, I left a bit of my heart and soul here and people are throwing it in my face! I have faced accusations of being a crybaby. That's not all, Woosh. No! I stand also accused of dumbassery. Or maybe it was dumbshittery. I can't remember exactly what it was.

Feels bad, man.

It was dumbfuckery, Woosh. The nerve.

Woosh. It's just not the same. I've had a few beers, Woosh. It's not something I'd normally do on a weeknight, but 'tis the season. It's still not all that responsible, but what's done is done and who am I to turn down a half dozen beers when offered? Nobody, Woosh. That would be rude. Anyways, the season it is and I've had me a few beers and I'm feeling a bit nostalgic and sad. I miss this place. Too bad it's gone.

It's ok. This version of woosh I'm talking to never really existed anyway. But I don't really remember the details anymore, so I got what I got.

<3

Happy birthday, Wooshley! I know you're reading this right now, because we don't have to log in to read anymore, and you're all "It's not my birthday". But it is, Woosh, because you were smart enough to come back and read it on your birthday. How did you forget in the time it took you to click the link? Maybe you should lay off the sauce. But it's your birthday, so I guess it's actually ok. Woosh, these time travel plots are tough to write.

I never normally post in here, but welcome back, you were missed x

Okay cookie, I'm going to tell you something in confidence here. I'm trusting you and you can't tell anybody, because I'm aloof and super cool and shit and this will totally ruin my rep, but I totally fucking missed you guys for at least half of the (I think it was) 24 years I was banned. So thanks for the welcome, it's good to see you too.

Woosh wrote:Ok, seriously, where is the knuckman? Knuck if u Buck.

Just seeing this.

Kappa_WutFace wrote: I'm aloof and super cool and shit

And gay. Don't forget that you're steeped in gayness.

I'm gonna go all Heenan poopeater on you and demand that you post more. Get it in gear!

Kappa_WutFace wrote:I don't fucking look like a fucking farter, Woosh.

Every once in awhile I re-read this thread and I'm all "Uhhhhhhhhhhh, I think I might actually be as weird as I pretend to be." And then I remember it was in reference to a story I told about J Mascis thinking I was a dastardly fartmeister. I'm just leaving this here for the next time I reread this and end up spending five minutes wondering what the fuck I was talking about.

Woosh, we need you. Without you these assholes think they can sell their campers in the dub. And some shitface made a post looking to connect with musicians for some fucked up reason.

Woosh, the board is clamoring for your return. "Give us back our Wooshley," they cry out. Now is the time.

ech says you're dead, Wooshley. Nobody else seems to know if it's true, but if it is I have to say it's not a move I support.