Funniest posts (rollin' thread)

[REO Cokewagon]

I know someone who told me they got COVID through cellphone tower signals, doesn't mean I believe them either.

He has it wrong, the 5g signals are for activating the mind-control nanobots in the vaxx, not for causing covid

I used to be scared about getting a STD from sitting on a tractor. My then girl friend, thats how she got it. She got it from sitting on a tractor seat in shorts. Which is so odd, cause the gf after that, she got pregnant from sitting on a public tolite. Sure made me feel better that even though both her and I are white, the kid was born black. I was worried she had an affair.

[REO Cokewagon]

Re: Why Motorhead never did a record with a fucking symphony

They had to pay a symphony big bucks to do an album with Metallica. Why would they [the symphony] do an album with a C band?

C bands on here typically have a couple of gold albums in the US. This is a D band.

[REO Cokewagon]

PULL THE PLUG …
Jack Russell’s Great White play Questionable gig in Texas as Fans Watch in Shock, one Fan compares it to “Weekend at Bernie’s”
https://metalsludge.tv/pull-the-plug-ja ... t-bernies/

$tEvil

Hope he doesn’t have to run out of a burning building.

-

[Indy_Rob]

PULL THE PLUG …
Jack Russell’s Great White play Questionable gig in Texas as Fans Watch in Shock, one Fan compares it to “Weekend at Bernie’s”
https://metalsludge.tv/pull-the-plug-ja ... t-bernies/

$tEvil

Hope he doesn’t have to run out of a burning building.

-

[REO Cokewagon]

ALL of the videos have been removed...
Clearly the band [Jack Russell's Great White] is trying to clean up and hide their mess!

I still can't figure out how the band had enough pull to get the videos taken down. This isnt a big time band with a corporate machine behind them. This is a small potatoes operation.

[REO Cokewagon]

"I had a dream with the CEO in it"

One of those nights where I had multiple dreams.
In one, my wife and I were staying in a hotel and in the lounge, Tuff were playing.
I was not aware of this, but we went to get a drink and Stevie was there.
He had flowing golden locks and bragged to me about having his own bus, while his band had to travel in a van together.
I introduced myself as Gazpacho and showed him pics of my wife’s vagina.

[Nate S Axel]

Thanks. If it wasn't for people who don't care what Dee Snider thinks, I wouldn't know what Dee Snider thinks.

[REO Cokewagon]

Last summer I went with my son and his friends to a cabin in Tennessee. They all made the drive into a bigger town one evening. Once I got finished at my remote job I figured I would walk the mile down to a little bar and grill for a bite and a few beers.

Come dusk I realized I better get my ass moving. About 1/4 mile up the hill a bear pops out of the deep brush dish, stops faces me and stares at me. I raise my arms and yell, bear looks at me and goes back into brush.

I could hear him in there moving around and there was little traffic. What traffic that did go by didn’t care to pick up a guy in a Black Sabbath Born Again shirt.

I made pretty good time doing the fat guy 3/4 mile run.

[Indy_Rob]

I posted on here 10 + years ago that my buddy was opening for Bert Miracles. I was his guitar tech that night. Got in free and got to see the show. It was a fun time and there to support my buddy.
He sound checks and we are going to grab dinner in his area. But we decided to watch Bert's band do their sound check from the side stage, next to the monitor guy (who hated them and talked shit all night). We were maybe 5-10 feet tops from the keyboard player. We would have not been that close during the show.

Anyway, as Pete is singing as Bert is out doing his charity work with the local radio station. The band is loud, and I have to fart badly. My farts aren't just air, they are bad. Rotten cheese, cabbage, and a hint of sweet onion with a touch of poo and sewer. I end up not just farting but farting bad, and long and was probably just shy of actually shitting my pants.

So as I am finishing the band is done, my buddy is like "Oh fuck man, you smell like a sewer!" We walk away to grab dinner but notice the guys walking through what was like a pigpen scene from charlie brown of my fart. It was keyboardist, drummer, and bass player. They were saying something and their faces said it all. I played it off and acted cool and just took it all in.

[gtrjay]

I posted on here 10 + years ago that my buddy was opening for Bert Miracles. I was his guitar tech that night. Got in free and got to see the show. It was a fun time and there to support my buddy.
He sound checks and we are going to grab dinner in his area. But we decided to watch Bert's band do their sound check from the side stage, next to the monitor guy (who hated them and talked shit all night). We were maybe 5-10 feet tops from the keyboard player. We would have not been that close during the show.

Anyway, as Pete is singing as Bert is out doing his charity work with the local radio station. The band is loud, and I have to fart badly. My farts aren't just air, they are bad. Rotten cheese, cabbage, and a hint of sweet onion with a touch of poo and sewer. I end up not just farting but farting bad, and long and was probably just shy of actually shitting my pants.

So as I am finishing the band is done, my buddy is like "Oh fuck man, you smell like a sewer!" We walk away to grab dinner but notice the guys walking through what was like a pigpen scene from charlie brown of my fart. It was keyboardist, drummer, and bass player. They were saying something and their faces said it all. I played it off and acted cool and just took it all in.

I appreciate you!

[PhrozenInferno]

bentbrother not 1 hour ago in the CEO’s ‘POLICE RAID’ thread

probably a mistake and they were supposed to raid the house next door..

someone gave a tip some street hustler was selling bootleg beau nasty cd's from a make believe office.

[Indy_Rob]

I posted on here 10 + years ago that my buddy was opening for Bert Miracles. I was his guitar tech that night. Got in free and got to see the show. It was a fun time and there to support my buddy.
He sound checks and we are going to grab dinner in his area. But we decided to watch Bert's band do their sound check from the side stage, next to the monitor guy (who hated them and talked shit all night). We were maybe 5-10 feet tops from the keyboard player. We would have not been that close during the show.

Anyway, as Pete is singing as Bert is out doing his charity work with the local radio station. The band is loud, and I have to fart badly. My farts aren't just air, they are bad. Rotten cheese, cabbage, and a hint of sweet onion with a touch of poo and sewer. I end up not just farting but farting bad, and long and was probably just shy of actually shitting my pants.

So as I am finishing the band is done, my buddy is like "Oh fuck man, you smell like a sewer!" We walk away to grab dinner but notice the guys walking through what was like a pigpen scene from charlie brown of my fart. It was keyboardist, drummer, and bass player. They were saying something and their faces said it all. I played it off and acted cool and just took it all in.

I appreciate you!

The middle paragraph! Fucking hell! Quite the description !

[TravisBicklesMohawk]

Anything by Stoner. I miss her and her Nellie Olsen avatar. Damn, where did she go?

[REO Cokewagon]

bentbrother not 1 hour ago in the CEO’s ‘POLICE RAID’ thread

probably a mistake and they were supposed to raid the house next door..

someone gave a tip some street hustler was selling bootleg beau nasty cd's from a make believe office.

[REO Cokewagon]

The most you paid for a meet and greet:

I'd sooner lick my dog's ass and balls than pay to meet any person.

[HueyRamone]

The most you paid for a meet and greet:

I'd sooner lick my dog's ass and balls than pay to meet any person.

I'll get in on that dogball and ass licking if there's any left after you two are done with him.

[FOON]

Last summer I went with my son and his friends to a cabin in Tennessee. They all made the drive into a bigger town one evening. Once I got finished at my remote job I figured I would walk the mile down to a little bar and grill for a bite and a few beers.

Come dusk I realized I better get my ass moving. About 1/4 mile up the hill a bear pops out of the deep brush dish, stops faces me and stares at me. I raise my arms and yell, bear looks at me and goes back into brush.

I could hear him in there moving around and there was little traffic. What traffic that did go by didn’t care to pick up a guy in a Black Sabbath Born Again shirt.

I made pretty good time doing the fat guy 3/4 mile run.

The only time I ran faster was when a 6’4” black dude chased me with a knife.

[Whatever Happened To…]

The most you paid for a meet and greet:

I'd sooner lick my dog's ass and balls than pay to meet any person.

I'll get in on that dogball and ass licking if there's any left after you two are done with him.

Woof woof.

[REO Cokewagon]

Rocker with the worst breath??

I would guess that back in the day, Shane MacGowan could've knocked a buzzard off a shitwagon.

Kurt Cobain apparently never brushed his teeth--would eat an apple in the morning and said that was the same as brushing?--but also didn't have bad breath. Seems odd that a cigarette-smoking junkie that never brushes his teeth would have on-point breath but I guess that was the case.

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