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Was playing bass in a cover band years ago, and switched over to guitar because our guy moved and the singer and drummer knew "a really good bass player" that had asked about filling in.
Meet the dude - total weirdo. Tells us how he used to be full-time professional, sends me this blurry photo from the 90s thats allegedly him onstage. Walks into practice with like $15k+ worth of gear.
He plays his first note, snare drum rattles, and he's like "what's that sound?" It's immediately apparent to me he's never been in a band. Or even a room with a drum kit. We run some songs - he's playing fine, but is impossibly loud. We keep telling him to come down more, and eventually he's like "I can't play if I cant hear my notes". I put together he think's he's going to be able to hear everything he's playing distinct from the guitars because that's how it sounds playing by himself at home.
Anyway, everyone else likes him and I didn't want to call their friend a liar, so I practiced my golden rule - the art of diplomacy is letting someone else have your way. I figure they'll put things together pretty quick.
We bring the guy on, and every week it's getting weirder. The guy is broke, lives with elderly in-laws and has kids still at home, but brings a different $5-$10k bass, different pedals, new bullshit every time we practice. Brings a tripod and films himself playing the entire rehearsal. At one point he brings some sort of electronic vest that allows him to "feel" the notes he's playing. Insane shit.
Eventually it comes out my bandmates don't know this guy as well as they'd made it sound - they only know him because he had come to every single one of our gigs - to see a cover band.
Anyway, he lasted a few months before everyone else wised up we fired him for something too insane and long to even type out here. Our drummer broke the news, and the guy said he was going to kill himself - due to being let go from a friggin cover band. We felt bad until he started texting us from a different number pretending to be his wife, attacking us and making all kinds of crazy claims. Last we ever heard from him, he sent us a text message so long it couldn't be opened and had to be downloaded as an attachment.
I assume he is either dead or in a mental institution.
