Allsop marries Allslob - congratulations to Wolfgunt Van Halen!

[BernieTaupson]

https://people.com/wolfgang-van-halen-m ... ve-8356353

[LAglamrocker]

No chance he walks up those steps

[BernieTaupson]

No, he had just rolled down them. Like Thudd Butt from Hook.

[MetalSludgeCEO]

I cannot imagine him on top of her... just sayin'

Now if she really wants to secure the bag (as the kids say), she needs to let him blow some loads inside her, to make a mini-me.

$tEvil

[BernieTaupson]

If you want some fun send that picture to a bunch of women with no context and see what they say.

Just got back “he must be famous or loaded”.

[AliceManson]

I cannot imagine him on top of her... just sayin'

Now if she really wants to secure the bag (as the kids say), she needs to let him blow some loads inside her, to make a mini-me.

$tEvil

After Valerie dies and Wolf secures the full inheritance from.both parents. She will divorce him and make a fortune.

[dmbrocker]

I cannot imagine him on top of her... just sayin'

Now if she really wants to secure the bag (as the kids say), she needs to let him blow some loads inside her, to make a mini-me.

$tEvil

After Valerie dies and Wolf secures the full inheritance from.both parents. She will divorce him and make a fortune.

Divorce him? He'll end up croaking under "mysterious circumstances". Hope he's keeping the rat poison and kitchen knives locked away from her.

[Wild Obsession]

Waffle looks like Cooter from The Dukes of Hazzard (but fatter).

[kwf]

Pre-nup?

[MetalSludgeCEO]

I cannot imagine him on top of her... just sayin'

Now if she really wants to secure the bag (as the kids say), she needs to let him blow some loads inside her, to make a mini-me.

$tEvil

After Valerie dies and Wolf secures the full inheritance from.both parents. She will divorce him and make a fortune.

This...

Or... his obesity will take him out early... and she's only 31. It is not unlikely he could cash in his chips before she's 40.

Mom too...as she is 63, in time 70 and unhealthy like the son... and mind you, this is what Valerie looks like after a life of privledge, and prolly surgeries too.

Take away all that money, wealth and spoon-fed since a kid... and she is 1 of those "My 600 Pound Life" broads living in a trailer.

She could have a spin-off show too... "My 500 Pound Son"... just sayin'.

Oh well... the long-play isn't that long here... she'll be living large (no pun intended of course)... off their money!

$tEvil

[MattleyCrue]

Wolfie definitely out kicked his coverage on this one. The last name Van Halen helps.

He looks like fat kid that eats Taco Bell and drinks Mountain Dew and plays Pokémon Go for fun

[BernieTaupson]

Anyone else think they need to tone down the whole Ed thing? She made trinkets of a picture of Ed and Wolf and gave it to everyone at the wedding. Fucking hell man, everyone’s father dies at some point. I know it was a totally dysfunctional co-dependent thing they had going on, but go and get therapy or something already. It’s fucking WEIRD. Raise a glass to the guy, that’s all you have to do. That guy is known more for being a crybaby than he is a musician!

[HueyRamone]

Is she a mormon? They might be taking each others virginities tonight!

[Metal Judge]

Without that last name, he’d only have Rosie.

[Mr.Happyface]

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/wol ... 41832.html

...lame, says they met on Instagram and he still has the screen shot of their first text exchanges.

[BernieTaupson]

Wonder if she did what Yoko and Linda Eastman did and went around trying to hook a rockstar and eventually hit the big time. He should look at her outbox. She doesn’t strike me as a metal fan. Maybe she has a thing for obese manbabies.

[BernieTaupson]

https://reddit.com/r/entertainment/s/YrF9wV8JAU

[Psychobolia.com]

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/wol ... 41832.html

...lame, says they met on Instagram and he still has the screen shot of their first text exchanges.

Damn, that must be the best pickup line ever: 'Hey, it's (insert your name). This is my number.'

[Bono Nettencourt]

Upon closer inspection, she's not all that - has a 5head, big choppers, and borderline anorexic:

[BernieTaupson]

Of course she’s skinny with Harry & The Hendersons in the house.

[Wild Obsession]

Is she a mormon? They might be taking each others virginities tonight!

She was probably using that excuse to avoid fucking Waffle until they got married........(can't say I blame her)........

[El Vampiro Blanco]

I cannot imagine him on top of her... just sayin'

Now if she really wants to secure the bag (as the kids say), she needs to let him blow some loads inside her, to make a mini-me.

$tEvil

That mini-me will still be bigger than Andre the Giant. She will die giving birth...

[LAglamrocker]

Wedding weight is listed at 187
He looks good in white dress
Nice cool 80s hair

Glad he found himself a Rosie

[Turner Coates]

He does look like a happy couple.
She looks happy too.

[LAglamrocker]

She has him trained well
Every time he asks for sex she kicks him in the balls

[TooOldToCare]

In that side-by-side wedding photo, he looks like he's standing 10 feet closer to the camera than she is.

[BernieTaupson]

He’s so fat, he’s actually standing ten feet behind her.

[Hungwell]

https://people.com/wolfgang-van-halen-m ... ve-8356353

Waffle gonna need every bit of his inheritance if he plans on getting that suit dry cleaned on Ventura Blvd!


If he was smart he would just sell the blazer to an Aerial Advertising company for use as a banner ad.

[ParaDime77]

Is she Michael Allsop’s (OG Three Dog Night guitarist) granddaughter by chance?

[VanDokken]

Waffle looks like Cooter from The Dukes of Hazzard (but fatter).

you spelled Boss Hog wrong