Metal Sludge Gossip Board

Ever been on the pot taking a shit, and then suddenly u get a fucking phone call from ur boss, telling u that u were fired??

What job did u get fired from?? Was this for a band, and the band leader fired u? Maybe u were an LA Guns member and Phil Lewis called u to fire u while u were taking a shit?

And why were u fired? U couldn't cut it? Or did u do something that pissed the boss off, like stealing money, or fucking the boss's girlfriend??

Did ur boss know that u were on the pot taking a shit?

No but I once fired someone while I was taking a dump

Not directly, but close.

March 2018, working for a regional media company who'd been dealing with rounds of layoffs for years. Constant downsizing. It was just my turn.

Anyway, the bathroom was down this hallway from the main office. I threw a deuce and it stunk pretty bad. The bathroom was nice but didn't ventilate for shit and there was no air freshener in there so when someone cut a log, it stayed in the air quite awhile. So I nuked it, and as I'm walking back, my boss's boss (who was the one making the call on who to axe and when) was walking past me to head to the bathroom. I said whats up to him and he kind of grunted "hey" or something terse and kinda dicky. Wasn't surprising, he did that a lot. So as soon as I get back to the office, I'm called into the regional manager's office and he's in there with another higher-up, and they gave me the news. I wasn't surprised, nor really upset.

I packed up my desk and left. It was just past 10am and I went to the bar. But I smiled knowing the last interacton I had with the big boss was seconds before I cropdusted him when he went into the bathroom after I blew it up. So, I got the last laugh.

My last job was in 2016, I sent my letter of resignation from the shitter. Full time musician since then, surprisingly greatest decision I ever made!

PBFSUCKS wrote: ↑Sun Dec 29, 2024 11:32 am My last job was in 2016, I sent my letter of resignation from the shitter. Full time musician since then, surprisingly greatest decision I ever made!

If you live up to your name, you must be a success!

No. But we had a mandatory building fire drill a couple of weeks ago.

Bathroom had just been cleaned. Soothing music playing over the bathroom speakers. Great internet connection. Perfect dump situation. Got settled in and alarms started blaring. Lights flashing. Then security came in and told me to leave the building immediately. Last to leave the building…walked out by security. Worst dump ever.

Nope but drew from Wildside fame had a video editor who worked with us us named Jim who would go in a stall and take a shit while watching YouTube videos with the sound on eating a dominos pizza between editing porn

No, I've never been canned while in the can.

No, but every Friday one of my old boss' used to eat an egg salad & raw onion sandwich whilst sitting on the throne taking a dump.

I've only been fired once, but it was everybody at the company, and all at the same time, it was pretty wild!

They got everybody together in a big room and the CEO gave a speech that went something like this;

'We have been going over the options for the company moving forward and we have identified 3 different options that are viable to us.

The first option is to hire a new CEO and restructure the company.

The second option is to sell the company to the highest bidder

The third option is to shut down the entire company and cease operations.

(...pause...)

We have selected option 3"

I was like 'did I hear that right?' I was pretty stunned!!

Have never been fired.