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You Can Be GENE SIMMONS's Roadie For A Day — For $12,495
March 7, 2025

KISS bassist/vocalist Gene Simmons is offering his fans a chance to be his roadie for a day during his upcoming tour with the GENE SIMMONS BAND.

Simmons's $12,495 "Personal Assistant And Band Roadie For The Day" experience is limited to one per show and includes the following perks:

* You will meet up with Gene and GENE SIMMONS BAND members early in the day (either at his hotel or designated location) to go over the band's show day schedule.
* You will be on the GENE SIMMONS BAND team crew for the entire day!
* You will get a GENE SIMMONS BAND crew member shirt and hat
* You will get a GENE SIMMONS BAND crew member VIP laminate
* You will have a meal with Gene Simmons (at the hotel or backstage at the show)
* You will arrive and load in to the venue with the band
* You will help the band set up for the show
* You will hang out backstage
* You get to jerk Gene off
* You will sit in on soundcheck
* Gene Simmons will bring you on stage during the show and introduce you
* You will get a setlist signed by Gene Simmons
* You can take photos throughout your entire experience
* You may bring one guest
* You may bring four items for Gene to sign (no instruments, parts, etc.)
* And… you get a Gene Simmons (KISS-rehearsal-used) bass signed by Gene Simmons


Tickets to the show are not included, as they are sold through the individual venues.

Sure hope u took some editorial liberties here

daveg wrote: ↑Fri Mar 07, 2025 12:14 pm
Sure hope u took some editorial liberties here

Sadly, probably the part about the signed bass guitar.

Gene time is worth money- that’s only 1000$ per hour with all those extras..good deal for MISS dorks

His wife would charge way more per hour
That comes with light maid service and soapy massage
Think you can bring 5 items to sign

Got free ticket for Gene Miss show at casino if I want it..maybe I’ll go
Way more excited for Jackyl at Whisky few days later

You will get ignored by Gene Simmons as only the geekiest of fans will even consider this and he sure ain't going to talk about MI$$ b-sides and Bob Ezrin and exactly how Ace brought Cold Gin to the band.... all day.
He can't even hide his boredom in all the photo sessions, and anyway he's already got your money so what are you going to do about it?

I wonder how much the other roadies pay him?

* And… you get a Gene Simmons (KISS-rehearsal-used) bass signed by Gene Simmons

Lemme guess...

Part of your job at rehearsal as a roadie will be plugging and unplugging a table full of basses that Gene plucks open strings with his left hand as he signs with his right.

REHEARSAL USED, BABY!!

I wonder how much he charges his band members to be on stage with him?

Gene probably asked MISS fan what he has in his savings account- that became 12,495 $ price
Gene thought “ I’ll take all the money “

Jeez. I'd only charge him a couple hundred plus per diem.

Nightcrawler wrote: ↑Fri Mar 07, 2025 12:50 pm I wonder how much he charges his band members to be on stage with him?

This is a genius idea I could see Gene fully supporting!

"Join Gene on stage with his band playing back up maracas on 'Lick It Up' for a paltry $25K! Live the DREAM!! note: you will have to stay inside the duct tape markings on stage, 2'x2' "

Pay $13000 for manual labor

Clearly, no one hates a die hard KISS fans more than Gene Simmons does.

I’d pay for it if I could get Ace to sign up. He’d show up late, lift nothing and skip out on dinner without paying a cent.

How much to smell his finger? Asking for a friend. I’d love an interviewer to ask Gene that question. I bet he’d laugh.

Wiseacre wrote: ↑Sat Mar 08, 2025 2:45 am Clearly, no one hates a die hard KISS fans more than Gene Simmons does.

I’d pay for it if I could get Ace to sign up. He’d show up late, lift nothing and skip out on dinner without paying a cent.

How much to smell his finger? Asking for a friend.

Stop it, you know it, you've done it.

Nightcrawler wrote: ↑Fri Mar 07, 2025 12:50 pm I wonder how much he charges his band members to be on stage with him?

halfprice today only

Obviously bullshit because it’s minimum double that price to jerk Gene off.

Other than that this is classic Gene and I fucking love it. Free market capitalism at its best.

Bono Nettencourt wrote: ↑Sat Mar 08, 2025 3:40 am

Wiseacre wrote: ↑Sat Mar 08, 2025 2:45 am Clearly, no one hates a die hard KISS fans more than Gene Simmons does.

I’d pay for it if I could get Ace to sign up. He’d show up late, lift nothing and skip out on dinner without paying a cent.

How much to smell his finger? Asking for a friend.

Stop it, you know it, you've done it.

Dude, I barely carried my own gear. the last thing on earth I’d do is pay money to carry someone else’s.

But you HAVE paid to smell his finger.

I wonder if we'll get a fun photo gallery thread about this.

I got a friend that is providing backline at his show near me. I should jump in and help
Him

Am I reading this right? You pay Gene Simmons to haul his equipment?

Seriously??

TravisBicklesMohawk wrote: ↑Mon Mar 10, 2025 4:14 am Am I reading this right? You pay Gene Simmons to haul his equipment?

Seriously??

Yes. Yes, you are.

Like PT Barnum said.

I hate manual labor. I wouldn’t sign up for that if he paid me. I wouldn’t do it even if I was THE BIGGEST fan.

Probably been said above but I'm lazy, anyone who has toured with a band knows (ESPECIALLY when talking about a dude in his 70s) the load-in will be at say 10:00am. Gene will likely show up at 3:00 or 4:00 for a quick sound-check then disappear into his bus until 30 minutes before the show. In that 12-hour day, these people might get 30 minutes of 'hang time' if they're lucky and that would be IF, Gene decides to sit and eat with the band & crew.

Nightcrawler wrote: ↑Mon Mar 10, 2025 4:32 am

TravisBicklesMohawk wrote: ↑Mon Mar 10, 2025 4:14 am Am I reading this right? You pay Gene Simmons to haul his equipment? Seriously??

Yes. Yes, you are.

The other tidbit I glossed over originally is you also have to get a ticket to the show, because, well just because (insert bullshit answer here)

I just assumed if you were a roadie you show up early, haul some crap in, set it up, you know just like a roadie would do.

Is there someone there that can scan your ticket when you load in??

EzyRider wrote: ↑Mon Mar 10, 2025 6:46 am

Nightcrawler wrote: ↑Mon Mar 10, 2025 4:32 am

TravisBicklesMohawk wrote: ↑Mon Mar 10, 2025 4:14 am Am I reading this right? You pay Gene Simmons to haul his equipment? Seriously??

Yes. Yes, you are.

The other tidbit I glossed over originally is you also have to get a ticket to the show, because, well just because (insert bullshit answer here)

I just assumed if you were a roadie you show up early, haul some crap in, set it up, you know just like a roadie would do.

Is there someone there that can scan your ticket when you load in??

The only reason this person would need a ticket is if they want a secured seat in the audience. Otherwise you don't need a ticket. This person is 'part of the crew' and not a local union guy doing load-in-load-out. The crew hangs back/side stage during the show.

sirthx2 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 10, 2025 7:15 am

EzyRider wrote: ↑Mon Mar 10, 2025 6:46 am

Nightcrawler wrote: ↑Mon Mar 10, 2025 4:32 am
Yes. Yes, you are.

The other tidbit I glossed over originally is you also have to get a ticket to the show, because, well just because (insert bullshit answer here)

I just assumed if you were a roadie you show up early, haul some crap in, set it up, you know just like a roadie would do.

Is there someone there that can scan your ticket when you load in??

The only reason this person would need a ticket is if they want a secured seat in the audience. Otherwise you don't need a ticket. This person is 'part of the crew' and not a local union guy doing load-in-load-out. The crew hangs back/side stage during the show.

Would it kill Gene to throw in a comp ticket @ that price?

He's see his fans as marks.

Not that it requires a PhD, but I am not sure if I would want some cum guzzling kiss fan to set up my gear before a show.

He probably just has him unfolding tables and such for the merch stand, but the person has to have some type of mental illness to pay to work.

It is hilarious though. I applauded you gene.

Is it even legal to sell and market stuff to declared incompetent?
Even though you have the money, there must be something seriously wrong with you if you ”invest” this kind of money on this crap!
Like the gold ”Strutter” single. It’s not a question if you can afford it. If you buy it you are a retard. Fact!