Metal Sludge Gossip Board

Guy says:
"Yes, my wife is Mexican...totally Mexican...and she loves to cook.
But I'm TOTALLY white.
I'm SO white that I thought Carne Asada was the BIG girl in Wilson Phillips."

Hot blonde gets in to an elevator.
Dirty looking dude already in there.
He looks her up and down and says “Can I smell your pussy?”
She looks at him him with a disgusted look on her face “You most certainly cannot”
He shrugs and says “Must be your feet then”.

Kid was in college at some fancy broadcasting school to be a sports announcer and got his first internship at the local arena. On his first day was he given a piece of paper to read. He glanced at it and asked, "is it OK if I ad-lib?", and was told yes, so he stepped up to the mic and his best DJ voice said, "will the musicians and Lars please come to the stage for soundcheck".

Walrus takes his car in for repairs. While he is waiting, he buys himself a vanilla ice cream cone, and gets a bunch of it on his chin. When he goes back to the shop the mechanic says “Well, looks like you blew a seal” and the Walrus says “It’s just ice cream I swear!”