I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

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Ann_Landers
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I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by Ann_Landers » Mon Feb 18, 2019 10:55 am

Fellow posters, I would like to open my mailbag to you and share a letter I recently received.

Dear Ann,

About six months ago, I stopped taking my medication (Lithobid). I've come to realize that my family, coworkers, and neighbors are right: I'm an unlikable asshole. Believe me...no love is lost. I don't really like people either. But in spite of my dislike of people, I compulsively engage them on Internet message boards and out in public.

Treating people like shit is how I get my little high. And it's easier to do it online. The last time I was a bitch to someone in person, I got my ass kicked. I was walking towards the door of my local Safeway and I became enraged by a salesperson. I began screaming "No one fucking likes girl scout cookies, you little bitch! Each cookie has more than 100 fucking calories, and the goddamn number of cookies in the box gets smaller and smaller every year. And your green uniform looks like shit! So FUUUUUCKKKKKKK.....YOOOUUUUUUU and get the fuck out of my goddamn way. I'm only here to buy beer and high-fibre breakfast cereal." I never would have said that if I knew her dad was standing over by the shopping cart corral. Bruised and bleeding, I ran away as fast as my 350-pound frame could carry me. I had to return at 6 a.m. the next morning to get my car from the parking lot...and to buy that high-fibre breakfast cereal.

That was a few days ago. And now I'm sitting here with my Fiber One Bran Flakes plus a soccer ball that I stole after some kids accidentally kicked it into my yard, massaging my bruises, and thinking "damn, some thin mints and samoas would be really good right now". I love those chocolatey, toasted-coconut, caramel cookies! Why did I have to be an asshole? It was a lose-lose situation for everyone involved, especially me. And I'm getting too fat to run away every time I piss someone off.

Ann, how can I lead a happier, more satisfying life?

Sincerely,
bigbuttskinner

-------------------
And now I shall share my reply:

Dear bigbuttskinner,

My advice is: purchase a personal insertable device from an adult novelty store, lubricate it, and thrust it in and out of your anus, slowly at first, but then increasing in speed. This is just one method for releasing your energy more constructively. You might also try learning a creative skill like pottery, watercolor painting, or guitar playing. Once you find something that you enjoy and that you're good at (keep trying!), then try to find other people who share your interests.

Perhaps other readers can chime in with a few suggestions for how you can live your best life.

--Ann
Gil_Swine wrote: I was hoping to get some civil good advice. I looked in the wrong place.
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by suckit » Mon Feb 18, 2019 4:34 pm

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Mojo wrote:
Fri Apr 19, 2019 6:11 pm
Remember the DARE program in school? Don't Acknowledge Risingfarce Ever.
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Chip Z'Hoy
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by Chip Z'Hoy » Mon Feb 18, 2019 5:20 pm

suckit wrote:
Mon Feb 18, 2019 4:34 pm
Image
Classic Pollyclit.
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So I decided to put on some Sugar Ray for some mid-'90s/early '00s feels.
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by Turner Coates » Mon Feb 18, 2019 5:59 pm

Image
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"Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded." - Yogi Berra
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by exitflagger » Thu Feb 21, 2019 6:13 am

Ann_Landers wrote:
Mon Feb 18, 2019 10:55 am
Perhaps other readers can chime in with a few suggestions for how you can live your best life.
I hear that a product called Preparation H helps to soothe an inflamed asshole. Perhaps some kind of large scale application would be effective.
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lemmys_closet wrote:Nah, youre the gay one
Creeperati wrote:you without a doubt are biggest piece of shit person with no morals or values I have EVER seen
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by Stoner » Thu Feb 21, 2019 12:09 pm

I've always been a huge believer in a little hair of the dog that bit you, so my suggestion is felching.

All natural and gluten free.
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by Nitrorulz » Thu Feb 21, 2019 2:25 pm

Stoner wrote:
Thu Feb 21, 2019 12:09 pm
I've always been a huge believer in a little hair of the dog that bit you, so my suggestion is felching.

All natural and gluten free.
And delicious!
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by exitflagger » Tue Mar 05, 2019 3:05 pm

It doesn't take a diet to get rid of a big butt. Just the moderator.

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lemmys_closet wrote:Nah, youre the gay one
Creeperati wrote:you without a doubt are biggest piece of shit person with no morals or values I have EVER seen
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by cowpins » Tue Mar 05, 2019 5:22 pm

Yep. Enough was enough. Now we'll just have to see who he appears as next.
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by dmbrocker » Tue Mar 05, 2019 5:58 pm

cowpins wrote:
Tue Mar 05, 2019 5:22 pm
Yep. Enough was enough. Now we'll just have to see who he appears as next.
He's probably already on here as someone, and bigbuttskinner was just an angry alt. Every time he posted as of late I got the impression his shtick was just to troll.
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by Ann_Landers » Tue Mar 05, 2019 10:19 pm

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Gil_Swine wrote: I was hoping to get some civil good advice. I looked in the wrong place.
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by Ann_Landers » Thu Mar 07, 2019 3:36 pm

cowpins wrote:
Tue Mar 05, 2019 5:22 pm
Yep. Enough was enough. Now we'll just have to see who he appears as next.
I have a suspicion that his alt is Goddamn Electric.
Gil_Swine wrote: I was hoping to get some civil good advice. I looked in the wrong place.
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by DemonFilth2001 » Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:53 pm

He's gone? What was the final straw?
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Ann_Landers
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by Ann_Landers » Fri Mar 08, 2019 2:29 pm

DemonFilth2001 wrote:
Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:53 pm
He's gone? What was the final straw?
A few months ago he adopted a new schtick. Basically, he became a troll. In an attempt to be edgy and irreverent, he attacked other posters (usually the person who started a thread) and argued with them just for the hell of it without making any valid points. It was like CrazyLevi merged with EvelDick. In some cases it was unintentionally funny. But not in the thread where a poster was opening up about losing a parent.
Gil_Swine wrote: I was hoping to get some civil good advice. I looked in the wrong place.
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by suckit » Sat Mar 09, 2019 3:09 pm

Ann_Landers wrote:
Fri Mar 08, 2019 2:29 pm
DemonFilth2001 wrote:
Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:53 pm
He's gone? What was the final straw?
A few months ago he adopted a new schtick. Basically, he became a troll. In an attempt to be edgy and irreverent, he attacked other posters (usually the person who started a thread) and argued with them just for the hell of it without making any valid points.
in other words, what Deathcurse/Chip Z'hoy has done for 20 years.
Mojo wrote:
Fri Apr 19, 2019 6:11 pm
Remember the DARE program in school? Don't Acknowledge Risingfarce Ever.
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Chip Z'Hoy
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by Chip Z'Hoy » Sat Mar 09, 2019 3:16 pm

suckit wrote:
Sat Mar 09, 2019 3:09 pm
Ann_Landers wrote:
Fri Mar 08, 2019 2:29 pm
DemonFilth2001 wrote:
Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:53 pm
He's gone? What was the final straw?
A few months ago he adopted a new schtick. Basically, he became a troll. In an attempt to be edgy and irreverent, he attacked other posters (usually the person who started a thread) and argued with them just for the hell of it without making any valid points.
in other words, what Deathcurse/Chip Z'hoy has done for 20 years.
20 years? :lol:

Great math, Pollyclit.
TenLenny wrote:
Fri Aug 31, 2018 8:49 pm
So I decided to put on some Sugar Ray for some mid-'90s/early '00s feels.
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Re: I'm really worried about somebody right now (bigbuttskinner)

Post by DemonFilth2001 » Tue Mar 12, 2019 1:12 pm

Ann_Landers wrote:
Fri Mar 08, 2019 2:29 pm
DemonFilth2001 wrote:
Fri Mar 08, 2019 1:53 pm
He's gone? What was the final straw?
A few months ago he adopted a new schtick. Basically, he became a troll. In an attempt to be edgy and irreverent, he attacked other posters (usually the person who started a thread) and argued with them just for the hell of it without making any valid points. It was like CrazyLevi merged with EvelDick. In some cases it was unintentionally funny. But not in the thread where a poster was opening up about losing a parent.
Ah. I saw him in that thread. Totally f'd up.
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