Metal Sludge Gossip Board

Congrats on the trifecta, Goddamn Electric!

Sixdgritt wrote:Saw the thread title and author and I felt a knot in my stomach.

*phew*

You're not the only one!

Yeah, "You make baby Jesus shart" was kinda fail.

Sixdgritt wrote:Saw the thread title and...I felt a knot in my stomach.

I felt the same way, but for grammatical reasons.

WTF does "Trying to Hard" mean?

Itwalksamongus wrote:WTF does "Trying to Hard" mean?

They forgot the word "get". Viagra, people.

Itwalksamongus wrote:WTF does "Trying to Hard" mean?

Good one, Gummy!

It's awesome when The Mummy corrects people's spelling by pretending to not know what they mean. Like that wouldn't make him a thousand times dumber.

That boy must be from Fannin County.

He just ain't right.

Syndrome Of A Down wrote:Blind Lemon Spooge, Chinkenona, and Shitzialloveme.

I get the first two, lame as they are, but what the fuck is a shitzialloveme?

Is this Whitesnake1985's new nym?

Nah, even he wouldn't claim that shit.

"Shitzialloveme" is its pitiful attempt to insult me. Very revealing, don't you think?


Dear Syndrome of a Down,

I can't show up on this board for 48 hours without your webbed fingers tingling with uncontrollable rage.

Yes, you poor thing. I know how much you hate me. As I really don't have a clue who or what you are, nor do I care enough to make even the simplest inquiries to find out, this can only mean one of three things:

1. You tried your shiniest, sexiest pickup line on me in a club somewhere and I laughed uproariously while pointing out that you had spinach in your teeth.

2. I stole your husband or boyfriend and fucked them so thoroughly that your lard ass was promptly dumped.

3. I owned and humiliated you up one side and down the other in some insipid flame war on Sludge.


No matter which one of these is correct, I am your master. Breathe deeply and try your best to come to terms with this.

All my love,

Mitzi

MitziDupree wrote:3. I owned and humiliated you up one side and down the other in some insipid flame war on Sludge.

I have no doubt this would be as easy as flaming gets, but the idea of DitziSupreme owning and humiliating someone up and down the side of anything is a laff-n-a-haff.

You know, Duck, I always liked you.
Past tense.

This is a sad thing, as even when all the other quasi-intelligent posters were hawking e-loogies on your posts, I never joined in and usually thought "you know, that's actually pretty funny / correct / insightful."

Embrace your demotion. You've earned it. Your pitiful attempt at bastardizing my name is not only worse than SOD's, it's neither clever nor creative. Seriously, no better than me throwing out a feeble "Plastic Fuck" to you. I really expected more. We'll see.

Aww, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Though your not liking me anymore being considered a demotion is also kinda funny. What have you ever done for me? Therefore how should I recognise this difference in "rank"? It feels no different to me, my love. The nym batardisation doesn't have to be clever or creative if you can find truth in its simplicity.

Silly boy.

If you'd slowed your breathless quest to impress everyone around you with your dazzling urban viewpoints, you might have noticed that I don't HAVE any feelings.

You conjur visions of a flighty mama's boy, bathed in the competing aromas of Axe and Clearasil, sporting his first erection upon discovering something commonplace such as Counterpoint or the Aeolian Mode. So excitable.

Give your skull a chance to fully harden. Get a little experience under that swell belt your girlfriend gave you for Christmas, then you can renew your sisyphean attempts to irritate me.

How apt. How apt of you. You are a very apt poster. How apt of you to post that post in this thread. Very apt. I appreciate your aptness.

Man I have never seen so much nothing in every post iron duck has posted.
It completely assassinates logic and reason...just sad really.

^

Hah, faggot.

Best regards,
The Scorp.

Punk wrote:Iron Duck going up against Mitzi...there's a laugh riot.

Mitzi - KO 1

Don't stroke her vagina too hard. It bites.

Hahaha, I'd forgotten all about Syndrome of a Down and his insistence that I'm an Oriental.

shut up, chink.

HAILS CHICKENONA
I WAS UNAWARE THAT YOU ARE OF THE ORIENTAL PERSUASION
PRETTY SURE I READ SOMEWHERE THAT YOU POSSESS SOME RIGHTEOUS SWEATER MEAT
I'D LIKE TO LOVE YOUR BIG GUNS LONG TIME WITH MY SAMURAI SWORD
BUT I DIGRESS
WHETHER IT BE CHINESE, JAPANESE, OR KOREAN
I KNOW I'LL LIKE WHAT I'LL BE SEEIN
WHEN I EXPOSE YOUR JET BLACK WIRE BRUSH MUFFIN
AND HAMMER IT WITH MY MANOSTUFFIN

Disappointingly, ERIC, I am 100% occidental. Still, that was a vivid post. I'd probably hook up with ya, but I'd have to put a rider on it - no wearing hides or dressing like a medieval wench. I can get you a discount on turkey legs if that helps.

HAILS CHICKENONA
SO YOU WANT TO IMPLEMENT A RIDER BEFORE I RIDE YA
OKAY
I SHALL ESCHEW MY HIDES FOR A MORE TASTEFUL AND PURPOSEFUL LEATHER LONG JOHNS WITH GENEROUSLY APPORTIONED AND EASY ACCESS PISS FLAP
FURTHERMORE
IF YOU WILL NOT DON A MEDIEVAL DRESS THAT REVEALS YOUR BOSOMY DELIGHTS THAN MAY I SUGGEST A WIFEBEATER SANS BRA SO YOUR GIRLS CAN ROAM FREELY WHILE MY MANOROD ENSTIFFENS AS I GAZE MY WARRIOR EYES UPON YOUR DIAMOND CUTTING NIPPLES
AND I’LL ADD
A DISCOUNT ON SOME OLDE TIMEY TURKEY LEGS WOULD ROCK MY SOCKS
OR AS JOEY SAYS 'GIRD OUR CODPIECES, BROTHER'
JUST ADD SOME HORNS OF MEAD TO THE FESTIVITIES TO WHET OUR APPETITES AND MY TONGUE BEFORE IT BEGINS CIRCLING THE BROWN MOONS OF URANUS

Talked to my turkey leg guy. He's got the hook-up.

The mead might be a problem, but I got the horn covered, there always seem to be horns laying around here.

Horns of plenty, no doubt.