Excerpts from vickenona's Erotica

[deathcurse]

I have to admit, the crazy bitch has talent.

The Man Who Fucked Me with His Hard Dick

by vickenona

It was a hot humid sweltering hot day in the hills of Vermont and I was as horny as a two-dicked dog that hadn't been shot in the head yet by me. The damn fridge busted again and I says to my old man "You break the fridge agin?" And he says "No, not me, bitch." And I says "You broke the damn fridge agin and now we gotta break into our pill money, you dumb motherfucker!" He says "Bitch, I ain't breakin no fridge." I says "YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR. YOU'RE LYING TO ME." So he says "I'll call the repair man and he'll fix it. Don't be givin me no lip no more, you old bitch."

So I am waitin and waitin for the fridge man to show up and I catch a rerun of Designin Women that ain't seen yet and boy did I laugh. I says "LOL @ this show that's very funny." I like when my stories are on because I can snort some Oxys and just really mellow out nice.

Just when my favorite tater chip commercial comes on, I get a knock on the doorframe. We ain't go no door on account of my old man getting drunk on rye and throwing me through it when I accuse him of takin my last Percodan so's I appreciate when people knock because they can just walk in and we would be out 30 dollars if they stole all our shit. Which we stole but that ain't no matter. But this man he must be a real GENTLEMAN and I can see that because his pants are pressed real fancy.

The man at the door was pudgy but like I says I was fixin to get FUCKED so I lean up against our stove all sexylike. He says "You got the broken fridge?" I says "Yeah" while rubbing my hands all over my tits. I knew there would be a man comin over so I put on my best plaid dollar store shirt, the one I got married in. My tits were busting out, my bra pushed to the limits of what it can hold. They was pokin out like two bald groundhogs. It was Groundhog Day and the channel 9 weather guy says "Looks like 6 more weeks of HOT FUCKING."

"You like what you see?" I says all coque...coquett...all sexylike and he says "Um, what is the problem with this here fridge?" I says "It needs to be filled with meat just like my pussy." He says "Lady, I ain't ever fucked no Down Syndrome before." I says "Motherfucker, I ain't no Down Syndrome. I grew up so poor my folks couldn't AFFORD no extra chromosome." He says "LOL @ what you just said." I says "So you wanna fuck this hot pussy or not?" He says "Okay but what about that fat guy passed out in the livin room?" I says "He's cool. If he wakes up, he'll just watch and jerk off."

I unbuttoned my wedding shirt and unlatched my bra and my grandma titties flopped down to my massive hairy gunt. The fridge man took one look at me and lost his damn lunch. Musta had corn because in a Tallahassee minute my fat rolls had chunks of damn corn in them. I had that happen on Great White's bus back in '86 so I knew what to do. I starts rubbin the corn and mess all over my titties but not before I puke my damn self. Not because of the fridge man's cornpuke but because I was all fucked up on pills. I took this mixture of my oatmeal puke and the fridge man's corn and rub it all over my titties so I can get this motherfucker harder than 7th grade math.

He says "You smell like fucking hogshit. Get cleaned up and I'll fuck you." I says "Our shower is busted but you can hose me off out back if you like." He says "I guess" and we go outside and he hoses me off in the yard. I ain't worried about no neighbors. They're a bunch of fucking stuck-up fuckers who always calls the po-lice when me and my old man are beating the shit out each other or listening to the Marshall Tucker Band too loud. I figure they can go fuck themselves if they think they're gonna get between me fucking the fridge guy.

The hose water hits me and it's real cold, cold like my freezer useta be before my fucking old man busted it, and it makes my hairy brown nipples poke out all hard, hard like 7th grade math. My nipples are nice and big like the girls I used to see in the National Gegraphic books down at the 'bortion clinic. Okay so he lays me right there on the lawn and pulls out his pecker which looks like one of them foosball men from Bud's Tap down on 6th St. Me and my old man liketa go there and nod off sometimes.

So the fridge man sticks his foosball guy in my pussy but it ain't goin nowhere on account of me running dry on lube about 14 years ago. I says "No matter" and grab some mud from where we was runnin the hose. I put the mud on his dick and start jerkin him off to get him hard agin on account of him gettin soft from starin at my stretch marks too long. I tell you what, yer better off lookin at the sun than my stretch marks. Motherfucker, it ain't a pretty sight but I'm just how the Goddess made my ass so deal with it, bitch.

He gets hard and starts fuckin me and I says "Don't be pullin on my wig now." I notice he closin his eyes and grittin his teeth, real concentratin like. I says "You like this mudpussy?" He says "Don't talk" and I don't because I don't want him to stop cause I'm about to cum. Now you may say "Bitch, you lyin" but I swear on that busted old Datsun old there that I cummed so hard I shit all over the place. It stunk to high heaven, green shit all underneath my ass. But I didn't care none. I was so happy and glad it was like the day the 7-11 made corndogs 2 for 3 dollars. I made my dollar holler that day, oh boy.

He says "Oh fuck!" and I says "LOL @ the shit that just came out of my asshole." I says "You can hose me off agin if you like" and he says "Just suck me off so I can leave" so I did. I sucked him off real good, took out my dentures and everythin. He shot hot sperm in my mouth and I swallowed it like an old sow. He looked at me with disgust and turned around to see my old man with a hand full of sperm his damn self. I go over there and lick that shit up because it's good sperm and I won't have to heat up no macaroni tonight on account of me gettin my protein.

The fridge man looked real depressed-like and he went inside actin all funny. I says to my old man "What critter crawled up his ass?" and we go inside to see him eyeballin the rifle that's leanin up against the kitchen counter from when I shot my dog. Now I seen a lot of shit but I swear I never seen nothin like this old boy takin that gun and puttin in his mouth and pullin the damn trigger. Right before he did that he had a look in his eyes like he seen somethin real bad like in a nightmare. I says to my old man "Goddamn it, now I got to clean this shit up. Go and git some towels from the shed."

Then I realized, goddamn it, I should have had him fix the fridge first.

Anyway, so that's my story. Hope you liked it.

Hi honey! Mommy loves you!

[chickenona]

Haha, you've lost it.

[deathcurse]

Haha, you've lost it.

I thought it was a good story, vickenona. I'm being supportive.

[SelfMadeJesus]

LOL @ that post that was very funny.

[CrouchingStonerHiddenBong]

LOL @ "mudpussy".

[Facedown]

"You like what you see?" I says all coque...coquett...all sexylike

[saracapri]

That was the meanest thing I've ever read.

[Son_of_Sam_I_Am]

THAT'S what I'm talking about...LMGDAO!!!

[JakeYonkel]

Hi honey! Mommy loves you!

DUDE.

[Iron Duck]

I stopped at page 5 of that thread, but it looks like I should've kept on going.

[MurrayFiend]

"You like what you see?" I says all coque...coquett...all sexylike

[Woosh]

This story needed more Paul the junkie to be a realistic fictional erotica.

[SelfMadeJesus]

This story needed more Paul the junkie to be a realistic fictional erotica.

It would lend a nice grittiness to the peice, i mean for those jaded enough to be desensitized and not find it in the imagry conjoured up by mudpussy.

[Drunk Kennedy]

now THAT was fucking funny!

[EvilRockPosh]

Fuck, that was funny.

[BlackCrypt]

Made me hard!!

[SeminiferousButtNoid]

I take back everything I ever said about vicke. She's the new Flannery O'Connor.

[GreazyCapri]

I took this mixture of my oatmeal puke and the fridge man's corn and rub it all over my titties so I can get this motherfucker harder than 7th grade math.

[JoJo30]

I have to admit, the crazy bitch has talent.

The Man Who Fucked Me with His Hard Dick

by vickenona

It was a hot humid sweltering hot day in the hills of Vermont and I was as horny as a two-dicked dog that hadn't been shot in the head yet by me. The damn fridge busted again and I says to my old man "You break the fridge agin?" And he says "No, not me, bitch." And I says "You broke the damn fridge agin and now we gotta break into our pill money, you dumb motherfucker!" He says "Bitch, I ain't breakin no fridge." I says "YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR. YOU'RE LYING TO ME." So he says "I'll call the repair man and he'll fix it. Don't be givin me no lip no more, you old bitch."

So I am waitin and waitin for the fridge man to show up and I catch a rerun of Designin Women that ain't seen yet and boy did I laugh. I says "LOL @ this show that's very funny." I like when my stories are on because I can snort some Oxys and just really mellow out nice.

Just when my favorite tater chip commercial comes on, I get a knock on the doorframe. We ain't go no door on account of my old man getting drunk on rye and throwing me through it when I accuse him of takin my last Percodan so's I appreciate when people knock because they can just walk in and we would be out 30 dollars if they stole all our shit. Which we stole but that ain't no matter. But this man he must be a real GENTLEMAN and I can see that because his pants are pressed real fancy.

The man at the door was pudgy but like I says I was fixin to get FUCKED so I lean up against our stove all sexylike. He says "You got the broken fridge?" I says "Yeah" while rubbing my hands all over my tits. I knew there would be a man comin over so I put on my best plaid dollar store shirt, the one I got married in. My tits were busting out, my bra pushed to the limits of what it can hold. They was pokin out like two bald groundhogs. It was Groundhog Day and the channel 9 weather guy says "Looks like 6 more weeks of HOT FUCKING."

"You like what you see?" I says all coque...coquett...all sexylike and he says "Um, what is the problem with this here fridge?" I says "It needs to be filled with meat just like my pussy." He says "Lady, I ain't ever fucked no Down Syndrome before." I says "Motherfucker, I ain't no Down Syndrome. I grew up so poor my folks couldn't AFFORD no extra chromosome." He says "LOL @ what you just said." I says "So you wanna fuck this hot pussy or not?" He says "Okay but what about that fat guy passed out in the livin room?" I says "He's cool. If he wakes up, he'll just watch and jerk off."

I unbuttoned my wedding shirt and unlatched my bra and my grandma titties flopped down to my massive hairy gunt. The fridge man took one look at me and lost his damn lunch. Musta had corn because in a Tallahassee minute my fat rolls had chunks of damn corn in them. I had that happen on Great White's bus back in '86 so I knew what to do. I starts rubbin the corn and mess all over my titties but not before I puke my damn self. Not because of the fridge man's cornpuke but because I was all fucked up on pills. I took this mixture of my oatmeal puke and the fridge man's corn and rub it all over my titties so I can get this motherfucker harder than 7th grade math.

He says "You smell like fucking hogshit. Get cleaned up and I'll fuck you." I says "Our shower is busted but you can hose me off out back if you like." He says "I guess" and we go outside and he hoses me off in the yard. I ain't worried about no neighbors. They're a bunch of fucking stuck-up fuckers who always calls the po-lice when me and my old man are beating the shit out each other or listening to the Marshall Tucker Band too loud. I figure they can go fuck themselves if they think they're gonna get between me fucking the fridge guy.

The hose water hits me and it's real cold, cold like my freezer useta be before my fucking old man busted it, and it makes my hairy brown nipples poke out all hard, hard like 7th grade math. My nipples are nice and big like the girls I used to see in the National Gegraphic books down at the 'bortion clinic. Okay so he lays me right there on the lawn and pulls out his pecker which looks like one of them foosball men from Bud's Tap down on 6th St. Me and my old man liketa go there and nod off sometimes.

So the fridge man sticks his foosball guy in my pussy but it ain't goin nowhere on account of me running dry on lube about 14 years ago. I says "No matter" and grab some mud from where we was runnin the hose. I put the mud on his dick and start jerkin him off to get him hard agin on account of him gettin soft from starin at my stretch marks too long. I tell you what, yer better off lookin at the sun than my stretch marks. Motherfucker, it ain't a pretty sight but I'm just how the Goddess made my ass so deal with it, bitch.

He gets hard and starts fuckin me and I says "Don't be pullin on my wig now." I notice he closin his eyes and grittin his teeth, real concentratin like. I says "You like this mudpussy?" He says "Don't talk" and I don't because I don't want him to stop cause I'm about to cum. Now you may say "Bitch, you lyin" but I swear on that busted old Datsun old there that I cummed so hard I shit all over the place. It stunk to high heaven, green shit all underneath my ass. But I didn't care none. I was so happy and glad it was like the day the 7-11 made corndogs 2 for 3 dollars. I made my dollar holler that day, oh boy.

He says "Oh fuck!" and I says "LOL @ the shit that just came out of my asshole." I says "You can hose me off agin if you like" and he says "Just suck me off so I can leave" so I did. I sucked him off real good, took out my dentures and everythin. He shot hot sperm in my mouth and I swallowed it like an old sow. He looked at me with disgust and turned around to see my old man with a hand full of sperm his damn self. I go over there and lick that shit up because it's good sperm and I won't have to heat up no macaroni tonight on account of me gettin my protein.

The fridge man looked real depressed-like and he went inside actin all funny. I says to my old man "What critter crawled up his ass?" and we go inside to see him eyeballin the rifle that's leanin up against the kitchen counter from when I shot my dog. Now I seen a lot of shit but I swear I never seen nothin like this old boy takin that gun and puttin in his mouth and pullin the damn trigger. Right before he did that he had a look in his eyes like he seen somethin real bad like in a nightmare. I says to my old man "Goddamn it, now I got to clean this shit up. Go and git some towels from the shed."

Then I realized, goddamn it, I should have had him fix the fridge first.

Anyway, so that's my story. Hope you liked it.

Hi honey! Mommy loves you!

Holy....I never noticed this thread before....that was funny..no horrifying..just..So this is what you do over here. Interesting.

[EvilRockPosh]

Fuck DC for not posting anymore. I be feelin' all abandoned and shit up in this joint.

[GreazyCapri]

defcurse

People are actually happy that this guy is gone?
You faggots suck.

[Skate4RnR]

Dude had me fucking LOLing many times for years. I'll always miss him.

[EvilRockPosh]

This is still funny as shit.

[CrouchingStonerHiddenBong]

Funniest poster EVER.

[J. D.]

defcurse

People are actually happy that this guy is gone?
You faggots suck.

This.

[Rev. Johnny Tyler]

.

defcurse

People are actually happy that this guy is gone?
You faggots suck.

This.

Hitler gave good speeches too.

[SmokingGun]

I have to admit, the crazy bitch has talent.

The Man Who Fucked Me with His Hard Dick

by vickenona

It was a hot humid sweltering hot day in the hills of Vermont and I was as horny as a two-dicked dog that hadn't been shot in the head yet by me. The damn fridge busted again and I says to my old man "You break the fridge agin?" And he says "No, not me, bitch." And I says "You broke the damn fridge agin and now we gotta break into our pill money, you dumb motherfucker!" He says "Bitch, I ain't breakin no fridge." I says "YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR. YOU'RE LYING TO ME." So he says "I'll call the repair man and he'll fix it. Don't be givin me no lip no more, you old bitch."

So I am waitin and waitin for the fridge man to show up and I catch a rerun of Designin Women that ain't seen yet and boy did I laugh. I says "LOL @ this show that's very funny." I like when my stories are on because I can snort some Oxys and just really mellow out nice.

Just when my favorite tater chip commercial comes on, I get a knock on the doorframe. We ain't go no door on account of my old man getting drunk on rye and throwing me through it when I accuse him of takin my last Percodan so's I appreciate when people knock because they can just walk in and we would be out 30 dollars if they stole all our shit. Which we stole but that ain't no matter. But this man he must be a real GENTLEMAN and I can see that because his pants are pressed real fancy.

The man at the door was pudgy but like I says I was fixin to get FUCKED so I lean up against our stove all sexylike. He says "You got the broken fridge?" I says "Yeah" while rubbing my hands all over my tits. I knew there would be a man comin over so I put on my best plaid dollar store shirt, the one I got married in. My tits were busting out, my bra pushed to the limits of what it can hold. They was pokin out like two bald groundhogs. It was Groundhog Day and the channel 9 weather guy says "Looks like 6 more weeks of HOT FUCKING."

"You like what you see?" I says all coque...coquett...all sexylike and he says "Um, what is the problem with this here fridge?" I says "It needs to be filled with meat just like my pussy." He says "Lady, I ain't ever fucked no Down Syndrome before." I says "Motherfucker, I ain't no Down Syndrome. I grew up so poor my folks couldn't AFFORD no extra chromosome." He says "LOL @ what you just said." I says "So you wanna fuck this hot pussy or not?" He says "Okay but what about that fat guy passed out in the livin room?" I says "He's cool. If he wakes up, he'll just watch and jerk off."

I unbuttoned my wedding shirt and unlatched my bra and my grandma titties flopped down to my massive hairy gunt. The fridge man took one look at me and lost his damn lunch. Musta had corn because in a Tallahassee minute my fat rolls had chunks of damn corn in them. I had that happen on Great White's bus back in '86 so I knew what to do. I starts rubbin the corn and mess all over my titties but not before I puke my damn self. Not because of the fridge man's cornpuke but because I was all fucked up on pills. I took this mixture of my oatmeal puke and the fridge man's corn and rub it all over my titties so I can get this motherfucker harder than 7th grade math.

He says "You smell like fucking hogshit. Get cleaned up and I'll fuck you." I says "Our shower is busted but you can hose me off out back if you like." He says "I guess" and we go outside and he hoses me off in the yard. I ain't worried about no neighbors. They're a bunch of fucking stuck-up fuckers who always calls the po-lice when me and my old man are beating the shit out each other or listening to the Marshall Tucker Band too loud. I figure they can go fuck themselves if they think they're gonna get between me fucking the fridge guy.

The hose water hits me and it's real cold, cold like my freezer useta be before my fucking old man busted it, and it makes my hairy brown nipples poke out all hard, hard like 7th grade math. My nipples are nice and big like the girls I used to see in the National Gegraphic books down at the 'bortion clinic. Okay so he lays me right there on the lawn and pulls out his pecker which looks like one of them foosball men from Bud's Tap down on 6th St. Me and my old man liketa go there and nod off sometimes.

So the fridge man sticks his foosball guy in my pussy but it ain't goin nowhere on account of me running dry on lube about 14 years ago. I says "No matter" and grab some mud from where we was runnin the hose. I put the mud on his dick and start jerkin him off to get him hard agin on account of him gettin soft from starin at my stretch marks too long. I tell you what, yer better off lookin at the sun than my stretch marks. Motherfucker, it ain't a pretty sight but I'm just how the Goddess made my ass so deal with it, bitch.

He gets hard and starts fuckin me and I says "Don't be pullin on my wig now." I notice he closin his eyes and grittin his teeth, real concentratin like. I says "You like this mudpussy?" He says "Don't talk" and I don't because I don't want him to stop cause I'm about to cum. Now you may say "Bitch, you lyin" but I swear on that busted old Datsun old there that I cummed so hard I shit all over the place. It stunk to high heaven, green shit all underneath my ass. But I didn't care none. I was so happy and glad it was like the day the 7-11 made corndogs 2 for 3 dollars. I made my dollar holler that day, oh boy.

He says "Oh fuck!" and I says "LOL @ the shit that just came out of my asshole." I says "You can hose me off agin if you like" and he says "Just suck me off so I can leave" so I did. I sucked him off real good, took out my dentures and everythin. He shot hot sperm in my mouth and I swallowed it like an old sow. He looked at me with disgust and turned around to see my old man with a hand full of sperm his damn self. I go over there and lick that shit up because it's good sperm and I won't have to heat up no macaroni tonight on account of me gettin my protein.

The fridge man looked real depressed-like and he went inside actin all funny. I says to my old man "What critter crawled up his ass?" and we go inside to see him eyeballin the rifle that's leanin up against the kitchen counter from when I shot my dog. Now I seen a lot of shit but I swear I never seen nothin like this old boy takin that gun and puttin in his mouth and pullin the damn trigger. Right before he did that he had a look in his eyes like he seen somethin real bad like in a nightmare. I says to my old man "Goddamn it, now I got to clean this shit up. Go and git some towels from the shed."

Then I realized, goddamn it, I should have had him fix the fridge first.

Anyway, so that's my story. Hope you liked it.

Hi honey! Mommy loves you!

This was so damn hilarious!