The DOLTS Road BACK To The Tardbowl Starts Today!!

[Luminiferous]

2011 has started out with a bang.. So many good tards and so many greater posts.. I'm excited about the 2011 Sludge Tardball season!
Look at some of the exceptional talent Sludge has to offer so far, the two leading contenders, Sludge's answer to George and Yortuk Festrunk:

JDoom: Nu RockSkar in a mid life crisis.. Stir in a half a side of Lickety Split and there you have it!

FreaKShoW: RockNRev with a side of LicketySplit, has a thing for pitri dishes and chlamydia, willing to challenge any takers to a Lounge chinup contest..just don't make fun of his scars man! He got those protecting your candy asses!

Rattfan: Finally gives us the youtube channel of love and will hopefully become a VH-1 reality show!

RocknRollJunkie: For those of you who know fuck all about RipVanRose, Hello Big Boys, The Crow, Glamslamrockfan, HairbangersBall, AussieUnder, AXLROSEGOTKORNHOLED, yes she has been with us under many nymphs, thankfully she's never gotten a job that has good enough medical to get her melon examined..

HMJ: The Sexx could take lessons from this metal marionette!

Honorable mentions:

Greg Peyton13 Miracles: With the announcement of the Motley/Poison tour, the fun could just be beginning. Could be a sleeper surprise by the end of the Cruefest tour.

MuppetButt: For trying to erase his past as Whppersnpper and become the Gossip Board's new Iggy with massive topics seeking thoughts/opinions?, but usually really bad ones and coming off more and more like a QuantaviusWillEatItself

RockNRollRebel? Chuckstar?

Who else you got?

[scorpion death]

I'd like to throw SurrendersToMen to the tard third rail and whatever Lickety's nym is now. He still actually critiques women?!

[J. D.]

LAGlamrocker will always be King Tard.

[Luminiferous]

Good pick.. Forgot about that tard.

bands like ,Crue,Tesla,Ratt,Kiss all put out great cds still..but the fans dont really care, so why not just tour every year

[SoulsOfBlack]

I'm surprised there's no mention of the gay black Jani Lane supporter. He's been popular in the Lounge.

What about BUMSEX? deathcurse posted something yesterday about this troll which makes it seem like it's PurpleIdiot. It would make sense since "BUMSEX" really stepped it up with his posting right after PI was outed as WastedRumpRanger. If you notice, his main obsessions seem to be KISS and Ramsey Cruise/ROXX, much like his predecessors. Oh yeah, and plenty of .

[Metal Sludge]

I'm surprised there's no mention of the gay black Jani Lane supporter. He's been popular in the Lounge.

What about BUMSEX? deathcurse posted something yesterday about this troll which makes it seem like it's PurpleIdiot. It would make sense since "BUMSEX" really stepped it up with his posting right after PI was outed as WastedRumpRanger. If you notice, his main obsessions seem to be KISS and Ramsey Cruise/ROXX, much like his predecessors. Oh yeah, and plenty of .

He's not PI.

Never listen to deathcurse about these things...he SUCKS at busting alts.

[SoulsOfBlack]

Oh, I thought Murray was the one that sucked at that. You're saying they're both just as bad?

[Metal Sludge]

Oh, I thought Murray was the one that sucked at that. You're saying they're both just as bad?

Yeah, none of you are very good at it, really.
I'd probably be the worst, if I had to guess...but I don't.

[CrouchingStonerHiddenBong]

Hey now, I'm pretty damn good at it.

[Metal Sludge]

Hey now, I'm pretty damn good at it.

Haha...yeah, you're right. You're also pretty much the only one who ever asks me to check.
It's seems everyone else would rather just repeat their speculations over and over, in the hopes that they will come true.

(this is kinda true for most subjects around here, not just alternyms).

[Luminiferous]

I'm surprised there's no mention of the gay black Jani Lane supporter. He's been popular in the Lounge.

I didn't name trolls. When you have people foe you, then your act is not entertaining. There is a difference between the actual tards who believe what they type and trolls who try wayyyy too hard.
Gay, black, conservative, recovering heroin addict, etc who admires Jani Lane only for his sobriety...screams trying wayyy too hard.

(this is kinda true for most subjects around here, not just alternyms).

It's ALTERNYMPHS!!!

[Son_of_Sam_I_Am]

Hey now, I'm pretty damn good at it.

Haha...yeah, you're right. You're also pretty much the only one who ever asks me to check.
It's seems everyone else would rather just repeat their speculations over and over, in the hopes that they will come true.

I always feel like I'd be bugging you or something, so I just throw blind guesses out there...and when/if they stick, I look like (more of) a fuggin' genius (than I already do).

[Metal Sludge]

I always feel like I'd be bugging you or something, so I just throw blind guesses out there...and when/if they stick, I look like (more of) a fuggin' genius (than I already do).

You're not bugging me...it's not like I'm going to anything board related until I have time and/or feel like it anyway.

[Son_of_Sam_I_Am]

You're not bugging me...it's not like I'm going to anything board related until I have time and/or feel like it anyway.

Outstanding. Let's mess with bonedog.

Whatdoyasay?

[Metal Sludge]

What's the plan?

[Son_of_Sam_I_Am]

What's the plan?

You mean beyond outing him as an alt and humiliating him until we get bored?

Haven't put much thought into what would come next...but I'm sure it'll involve drunkenness, hostility, and nudity of some kind.

[Metal Sludge]

I hate to break it to you Sammy, but he isn't an alt.
Unless his old name and entire post count were completely removed some time ago, the names and IP addresses would cross and I'd be able to see it.

Early on, after being slammed repeatedly, he tried a couple of times to register a new screen name, but I nixed that idea.
It was for his own good really. He would have outed his same old self in 10 seconds, and then he would have really found out what Sludge is all about.

That never really works out for anyone. As we all know, it's best to just stick it out.

I always just chalked up his silliness to being a Jani Lane fan...You know none of them are quite right.

[Son_of_Sam_I_Am]

I hate to break it to you Sammy, but he isn't an alt.

Hell, that's GOOD news. He's probably still a troll, but now I don't have to ignore him on the pretense that he's some lame-ass, previously banned fuckstick.

On with the show!

[MitziDupree]

::channelling Erin Andrews::

Thanks for the update, Lumi.

I'm here in the Dolts training room with a surprise mid-season contender for the Liesman Award. Lerxstcat has spent the last few seasons on the sideline with debilitating injuries including a broken hip, diabetus and gout. But this year finds him making numerous appearances in highlight reels, often performing outside of his standard position of Running Pedantic.

Just last month, Lerx was named Playa of the Game for his amazing defensive efforts in the Western Metal Conference game of Tripzilla at MS. Odds makers had MS the heavy favorite in this showdown, but Lerx showed amazing spirit by blocking for Tripz early in the game as well as attempting a daring yet, unsuccessful, half-time maneuver of stealing the MS playbook.

Energized by his newfound whipping boy status, he is now making ridiculous plays in nearly every thread of the season.

EA: So Lerx, to what do you contribute this startling re-birth?

LSC: Geritol and Dulcolax

EA: Peppier pooping? That’s it?

LSC: Well, Erin, I didn’t realize how much iron-poor blood and occasional irregularity were holding me back as a refreshing thread-sitter. Dolts trainers are also coaching me on upper level Tard maneuvers, such as expanding my trademark pompous preaching from guitar threads to real life topics that I know nothing about. Like girls. This has really increased my shot at the Liesman.

EA: Congratulations, Lerx. Your newfound energy certainly hasn’t gone unnoticed.

LSC: Thanks, Erin. Some of it is due to my newest sponsor, the Rascal Scooter Company. Their products really help my hair blow in the wind when I’m toodling over to the Bingo hall. Madge and Doris love it.

EA: Well, there you have it. Another Dolt to keep our eyes on as this exciting season unfolds. Back to you, Lumi.

[MotleyMaiden]

[Luminiferous]

Thank you Erin Dupree for that insight with one of the veterans of the game! While I know many are suggesting that some need to retire after a certain age, Lersx certainly proves that theory wrong with pure honesty and integrity.. Something rarely seen this day in age on Sludge! I also applaud you for refraining from touching his hair..

Word as it that Steelers safety Troy Polamalu got the Head and Shoulders commercials only after Lersx them turned down. One could suggest it was to focus on the 2011 season here or it could be he wants to mentor younger tards and hopefully prevent another sudden and tragic loss as we did with the Tripzilla's so early in the season.
I know after that exciting kickoff in the Lounge pic thread, many were disappointed to see them go down with a sever injury to the ego..
As we all know, those take months to heal and to see such a fine talent go down, is just tragic. I guess we can be thankful that Sludge fitness coach Lersx stepped in and prevented what could have been a career ending breakdown for Th' Tripz...

I know many of us are pulling for a stellar season and sometimes when the ownings are beating the tards, hopefully he will go out there and give it all he's got and win just one more for the Tripper!

[Son_of_Sam_I_Am]

LMGDMFAO!!!!

[BUMSEX]

I'm surprised there's no mention of the gay black Jani Lane supporter. He's been popular in the Lounge.

What about BUMSEX? deathcurse posted something yesterday about this troll which makes it seem like it's PurpleIdiot. It would make sense since "BUMSEX" really stepped it up with his posting right after PI was outed as WastedRumpRanger. If you notice, his main obsessions seem to be KISS and Ramsey Cruise/ROXX, much like his predecessors. Oh yeah, and plenty of .

AWESOME!!!

[Luminiferous]

Damn.... Could there be a double whammy of tard's biting the dust so early in the season???

Could Sludge's loss be many triple D stripper porn stars gain???

JDoom and FreaKShoW both replying to JAP SPAM in the SAME THREAD on the Gossip Board??

[SoulsOfBlack]

There's been a great new addition since Lumi started this thread.

braddawson90212

It seems like this tard has 20 years of pent-up stupidity that he's been waiting to unleash on a forum like this.

[EvilRockPosh]

I was ignoring this thread because I thought it was an actual sports thread. What a dumbfuck

[MitziDupree]

Lumi, we’re back with an early update on the coveted “Rookie of the Year” award. As you know, each season brings a fresh crop of new hopefuls, each trying to catch the public’s eye and carve out a niche in history.

Pr0sthetics has stepped up in early scrimmages to display some impressive Tard maneuvers that are usually only seen in veteran Dolts. Odds makers in Vegas are still unsure whether to classify this rear-end receiver as male or female.

He drooled his way onto the radar with his defining “fake tat” maneuver and has continued to earn coveted Tard status with what seems an almost innate sense of the pitiful.

With each post screaming “I’M A BIG BOY”, Pr0sthetics possesses a special gift for trying too hard followed immediately by epic fail. Fans and critics alike are eagerly awaiting photographic evidence from his promised nuptials slated for later this month.

We’ll keep an eye on this blooming Tard and his race for Rookie of the Year.

[FreaKShoW]

Why the fuck do I keep making these lame lists.
Thanx Lumi.I thought I was your # 1.

[JDV]

Why the fuck do I keep making these lame lists.

It's probably because your petri dish of suck is spreading through the boards faster than Ebola through an African village.

[FreaKShoW]

Why the fuck do I keep making these lame lists.

It's probably because your petri dish of suck is spreading through the boards faster than Ebola through an African village.

And you are?
Nevermind,I could care less.My only wish in life is to be considered cool amongst the "kool kids" of sludge.
Sadly that day will never come and my sadness will ripple through time like a dying star.

If only some of you had the balls/ovaries to reveal your horrid selves maybe I could have half of much fun as the cool kids.