I'm lost

ralphwiggumsdealer · Post by **ralphwiggumsdealer** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 12:51 pm

It's been a while Sludge, old friend, and I've lost track of the goings on around here. I'm too busy banging hot-but-dumb chicks and eating lobster to wade through old posts. That's where you, dear poster, come in. I need you to tell me whats what around here nowadays?

I managed to skim through a top 50 poster thread where I found that, apparantly, Chickie is certifiably nuts (What? That's a surprise? You didn't know? I thought it was one of her best features), DC is still DC, and AFB is still allowed access to the outside world. Then I got bored.

What else have I missed?

Is Mitzi still really hot for an old bag? Is Succybus still hiding in lurkville hoping beyond hope that someday I may post again? Is Cliffbyford still smarter than all of you combined? Most importantly, who is on the verge of becoming completely unglued? These are the sort of questions that I need to have answered. Feel free to reply to these questions in this thread or in PM...don't matter either way, I still won't be your friend.

And please, don't waste yours and my time by letting me know about the boring, the hillbillies (except maybe Sara, and only if there is picture evidence of her new-found love for a good old-fashioned reaming), the fags that thought Motley Crue actually had talent, or the Germans. That's 99.9% of this dump. I want to know who I should be stalking for that special kind of entertainment that only this romper room seems to provide.

Finally, fuck you. I'm perfectly aware I could have posted this in the Lounge, but fuck those dumb cunts. If they had an opinion that I thought mattered, they would have posted it here in Hatas.

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong · Mon Mar 21, 2011 1:12 pm

The Dolts thread is a pretty good summary of the recent tards, although I have to say that my personal favorite to fuck with is JDoom. He's like a West Coast Rev.

Some favorites:

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=242715

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=243379

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=242062&p=5092834#p5092834

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=244295&p=5104219#p5104219

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=244737&p=5113928#p5113928

ralphwiggumsdealer · Post by **ralphwiggumsdealer** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:24 pm

Much appreciated Stoner. It's good to see that there are still important people who do important things that can still find time in their busy schedules to make the internet world know just how much of a self-important douchebag they truly are.

And Iggy's dead? That's too bad. I can think of half a dozen posters that I'd rather see dead than him.

EvilRockPosh · Post by **EvilRockPosh** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:26 pm

ralphwiggumsdealer wrote:And Iggy's dead? That's too bad. I can think of half a dozen posters that I'd rather see dead than him.

Is one of them OzzyVanDurst? 'Cos you might be in luck.

ralphwiggumsdealer · Post by **ralphwiggumsdealer** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:37 pm

OVD too? Poor guy. What happened to that fat fuck?

EvilRockPosh · Post by **EvilRockPosh** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:50 pm

ralphwiggumsdealer wrote:OVD too? Poor guy. What happened to that fat fuck?

Not sure but probably 'being a fat fuck'.

http://kokomotribune.com/obituaries/x54 ... t-J-Shafer

Facedown · Post by **Facedown** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:52 pm

ralphwiggumsdealer wrote:OVD too?

Add IDI to the list.

ralphwiggumsdealer · Post by **ralphwiggumsdealer** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 4:49 pm

And Idi as well. Who scored and inherited that fruity collection of bunny masks? If anything, this thread is showing that Billy Joel don't know shit when he sings about death.

Maybe it'd be simpler if I edit my original post to "Is anyone around here still alive?"

exitflagger · Post by **exitflagger** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:54 pm

Lerx has been drawing hostile fire lately. Seems like he got bummed and is keeping a low profile. Unless I've just been missing it.

The Sexx has vacated his post as official sludge shitsmusher and bonedog69 wants the job so bad he can taste it like a mouthful of spooge.

P13 is still the most despicable troll on the board. He works hard for the money... so hard for it honey.

Ironman is on a mission lately to take down the kewl kid klub through a diabolical barrage of misused italics and asterics.

Freakshow would probably get beat up on more around here if he didn't obviously revel in the beatdown so much.

Heenan Snuka still likes poopoo. For some reason he likes it a little more privately these days.

Tommy2Tard and PurpleIdiot made a suicide pact and pwned themselves right in the face at the same time.

Hungwell and EYU have apparently been saving money by not paying their internet bills.

EvilRockPosh · Post by **EvilRockPosh** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:57 pm

The Hungster should be back online soon, I sent him $80 the other day in exchange for a Tommy Stinson poster.

FreaKShoW · Post by **FreaKShoW** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 7:04 pm

exitflagger wrote: Freakshow would probably get beat up on more around here if he didn't obviously revel in the beatdown so much.

I'm a masochist,what can I say?
I also enjoy watching the "kewl kids" try soo hard that their heads smoke like a unkempt chimney.

MurrayFiend · Post by **MurrayFiend** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 7:05 pm

And I'm 'officially' straight, if you're wondering.

thewonkytits · Post by **thewonkytits** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 7:24 pm

rattfan (AKA ratqueen) has been posting some pretty entertaining videos here:

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=243477

and she has started to sing karaoke songs that she hasn't posted yet. I've sent her a message to put them up, so hopefully they'll be here in the next few days!

ralphwiggumsdealer · Post by **ralphwiggumsdealer** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:12 pm

exitflagger wrote:Lerx has been drawing hostile fire lately. Seems like he got bummed and is keeping a low profile. Unless I've just been missing it.

This one surprises me a little. I don't believe I recall him posting anything that was the least bit interesting.

The Sexx, P13, PurpleIdiot

Yeah...I got nothing that hasn't already been said a billion times. If anything, they make for an intriguing focus group. Prison sex has to be more enjoyable than whatever it is they get from partaking in the sludge experience.

bonedog69, Ironman, Freakshow

These three are unfamiliar to me, although I do see that one has gone and done me the courtesy of showing up in this thread. Ten minutes after you said his name, no less. I normally don't put much stock in first impressions but this lighting quick attempt to defend his good name, and his absurd usage of metaphor, does speak volumes.

A small favor Freakshow? Please just take some deep breaths and wait your turn to speak. I'd like to hear what the well-adjusted people have to say first.

And this guy..

Tommy2Tard

He's gone? I'm kind of sad. His was truly a special kind of stupid. I don't suppose it's possible that he's still here and posting under a new nym? Something unique? Something that nobody would ever be able to connect with his old nym? Something like....FreakShow? Nah. Too coincidental.

MurrayFiend wrote:And I'm 'officially' straight, if you're wondering.

I wasn't. And I don't believe it for a second!

thewonkytits wrote:rattfan (AKA ratqueen)

That name is familiar for some reason, but I'm drawing a complete blank as to why. It would appear further research is required.

One poster that seems to be missing in all of this is ZakkVanDime. What's his status nowadays? Correct me if I'm wrong, but last I recall he was trying to portray himself as the father of a child whose mother he barely knew. Is he still kicking around? Or did he finally listen to everybody and realize that he truly did have no dignity, self-respect, or anything more useful than a potato for a brain, and that it was time to slink off into the sunset?

EvilRockPosh · Post by **EvilRockPosh** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:17 pm

He left the board, went off and got married, but cheated on her before the nuptials, or something like that.

To be fair to him, I applaud him for actually being able to stay off the board. He spends his 'being a retard online' time on Facebook now, I think.

Clarification: All of this is stuff I've read on here, I don't know ZVD at all, I'm just a huge fan.

FreaKShoW · Post by **FreaKShoW** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 8:24 pm

Napoleon complex 101!

You've been away far too long!

Suck a dick,dude! (mine is not an option)

ralphwiggumsdealer · Post by **ralphwiggumsdealer** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 9:27 pm

FreaKShoW wrote:You've been away far too long!

Fag!

But seriously, I do appreciate the sentiment.

In fact, in return for your warm welcome, I'd like to extend a bit of an olive branch. Any time you need to buy some friendship, and pay their way through a weekend in Vegas, feel free to look me up. Chances are I'll be too busy to actually hang out with you, but, as a kick-ass motherfucker, I'm sure you know how it is.

TawnyVonJagger · Post by **TawnyVonJagger** » Mon Mar 21, 2011 10:46 pm

EvilRockPosh wrote:He left the board, went off and got married, but cheated on her before the nuptials, or something like that.

To be fair to him, I applaud him for actually being able to stay off the board. He spends his 'being a retard online' time on Facebook now, I think.

Clarification: All of this is stuff I've read on here, I don't know ZVD at all, I'm just a huge fan.

He is married, and he and the Mrs. are expecting a baby soon. He's a happy guy.

SanityClause · Post by **SanityClause** » Tue Mar 22, 2011 4:42 am

TawnyVonJagger wrote:
EvilRockPosh wrote:He left the board, went off and got married, but cheated on her before the nuptials, or something like that.

To be fair to him, I applaud him for actually being able to stay off the board. He spends his 'being a retard online' time on Facebook now, I think.

Clarification: All of this is stuff I've read on here, I don't know ZVD at all, I'm just a huge fan.
He is married, and he and the Mrs. are expecting a baby soon. He's a happy guy.

Who got her pregnant?

Landshark2000 · Post by **Landshark2000** » Tue Mar 22, 2011 12:48 pm

SanityClause wrote:
TawnyVonJagger wrote:
EvilRockPosh wrote:He left the board, went off and got married, but cheated on her before the nuptials, or something like that.

To be fair to him, I applaud him for actually being able to stay off the board. He spends his 'being a retard online' time on Facebook now, I think.

Clarification: All of this is stuff I've read on here, I don't know ZVD at all, I'm just a huge fan.
He is married, and he and the Mrs. are expecting a baby soon. He's a happy guy.
Who got her pregnant?

Oh man ...

St_Augustines_Pears · Post by **St_Augustines_Pears** » Tue Mar 22, 2011 1:20 pm

TawnyVonJagger wrote:
EvilRockPosh wrote:He left the board, went off and got married, but cheated on her before the nuptials, or something like that.

To be fair to him, I applaud him for actually being able to stay off the board. He spends his 'being a retard online' time on Facebook now, I think.

Clarification: All of this is stuff I've read on here, I don't know ZVD at all, I'm just a huge fan.
He is married, and he and the Mrs. are expecting a baby soon. He's a happy guy.

Judas fucking priest! What a dumb sonofabitch!

I give it less than a year before he's back here crying about how she fucked around on him, how he's now stuck paying a shitload of child support, etc.

Second verse, same as the first.

MickeyG · Post by **MickeyG** » Tue Mar 22, 2011 2:50 pm

Poor ZVD. Why can't people cut him some slack.

MasterOfMeatPuppets · Post by **MasterOfMeatPuppets** » Tue Mar 22, 2011 7:07 pm

MickeyG wrote:Poor ZVD. Why can't people cut him some slack.

He used to help people. He deserves it.

Son_of_Sam_I_Am · Post by **Son_of_Sam_I_Am** » Wed Mar 23, 2011 12:32 pm

SanityClause wrote:
Who got her pregnant?

MitziDupree · Post by **MitziDupree** » Wed Mar 23, 2011 12:43 pm

LMGDMDAO

Calexxia · Post by **Calexxia** » Wed Mar 23, 2011 2:24 pm

MickeyG wrote:Poor ZVD. Why can't people cut him some slack.

Define "cut some slack". I think he's a hypocritical cunt, but now that I don't run into him online or in town, I don't bother to talk smack about him

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