slicer's masterstroke

kriptyc · Post by **kriptyc** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:01 am

hahahaha...

http://www.amazon.com/Devils-Canyon-Lin ... 854&sr=1-3

(don't worry mod; it's a pen name, and who cares anyway)

MitziDupree · Post by **MitziDupree** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:00 am

If the book itself is even half as tedious as the (obviously "Mark Price" written) book and author description, it's quite possibly the most deplorable piece of self-satisfied pap churned out in the past 20 years.

I'm tempted to order it, for mocking purposes, but I'm scared of it driving me to slide into a warm tub and open a vein before even getting to Chapter 2.

kriptyc · Post by **kriptyc** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:19 am

MitziDupree wrote:If the book itself is even half as tedious as the (obviously "Mark Price" written) book and author description, it's quite possibly the most deplorable piece of self-satisfied pap churned out in the past 20 years.

I'm tempted to order it, for mocking purposes, but I'm scared of it driving me to slide into a warm tub and open a vein before even getting to Chapter 2.

It's a quick read (about five hours of your miserable life). And somebody please inform the speedy muffler that he can finally read slicer's book... then my work here is done.

And also, if this book causes suicide it will be after part one, imo.

MitziDupree · Post by **MitziDupree** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:20 am

Breathlessly awaiting your review on Amazon....

kriptyc · Post by **kriptyc** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:31 am

MitziDupree wrote:Breathlessly awaiting your review on Amazon....

don't hold your breath.

EvilRockPosh · Post by **EvilRockPosh** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:19 pm

That 'About the Author' text had me in fucking STITCHES. Amazing stuff.

kriptyc · Post by **kriptyc** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:51 pm

Grendel wrote:It would be awesome if someone could alter it to include this: "Has been known to exhibit a strong penchant for bestiality. In 2007, he got banned from a hair metal website for telling a minor that she might possibly be the reincarnated soul of the female child that he had aborted several years ago."

how do you know the unborn was female? "a strong penchant for bestiality"? you are an idiot.

kriptyc · Post by **kriptyc** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:54 pm

EvilRockPosh wrote:That 'About the Author' text had me in fucking STITCHES. Amazing stuff.

someone gets it.

deathcurse · Post by **deathcurse** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:56 pm

The synopsis and the bio are unreadable gibberish.

That he spent money on this makes me so happy.

deathcurse · Post by **deathcurse** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:04 pm

A young native prophet finds himself powerless in the face of inevitable tragedy. An even greater evil is well prepared to take advantage of this situation. Others arrive as if pawns in a wicked game.

You wrote a book about Metal Sludge, you dogfucking freak!

Also, LOL @ "wicked game."

kriptyc · Post by **kriptyc** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:10 pm

deathcurse wrote:
A young native prophet finds himself powerless in the face of inevitable tragedy. An even greater evil is well prepared to take advantage of this situation. Others arrive as if pawns in a wicked game.
You wrote a book about Metal Sludge, you dogfucking freak!

Also, LOL @ "wicked game."

don't flatter yourself. here's the whole quote:

"A young native prophet finds himself powerless in the face of inevitable tragedy. An even greater evil is well prepared to take advantage of this situation. Others arrive as if pawns in a wicked game. Paranormal activity, possession and madness mark the journey of souls reaching beyond religion and fantasy. "

MitziDupree · Post by **MitziDupree** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:21 pm

kriptyc wrote: here's the whole quote:

"A young native prophet finds himself powerless in the face of inevitable tragedy. An even greater evil is well prepared to take advantage of this situation. Others arrive as if pawns in a wicked game. Paranormal activity, possession and madness mark the journey of souls reaching beyond religion and fantasy. "

You wrote a book about Metal Sludge, you dogfucking freak!

Also, LOL @ "wicked game."

SoulsOfBlack · Post by **SoulsOfBlack** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:24 pm

kriptyc wrote:"A young native prophet finds himself powerless in the face of inevitable tragedy. An even greater evil is well prepared to take advantage of this situation. Others arrive as if pawns in a wicked game. Paranormal activity, possession and madness mark the journey of souls reaching beyond religion and fantasy. "

Ah, ok. Now it makes sense.

kriptyc · Post by **kriptyc** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:28 pm

MitziDupree wrote:
kriptyc wrote: here's the whole quote:

"A young native prophet finds himself powerless in the face of inevitable tragedy. An even greater evil is well prepared to take advantage of this situation. Others arrive as if pawns in a wicked game. Paranormal activity, possession and madness mark the journey of souls reaching beyond religion and fantasy. "
You wrote a book about Metal Sludge...

don't flatter yourself.

MitziDupree · Post by **MitziDupree** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:42 pm

Please, oh please tell me I'm cast in the "greater evil" camp.

kriptyc · Post by **kriptyc** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:46 pm

MitziDupree wrote:Please, oh please tell me I'm cast in the "greater evil" camp.

no, more pathetic than that: you actually copied deathcurse.

I'll leave you all with a zen koan:

Dried Dung

A monk asked Ummon: `What is Buddha?' Ummon answered him: `Dried dung.'

Mumon's Comment: It seems to me Ummon is so poor he cannot distinguish the taste of one food from another, or else he is too busy to write readable letters. Well, he tried to hold his school with dried dung. And his teaching was just as useless.

Lightning flashes,
Sparks shower.
In one blink of your eyes
You have missed seeing.

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong · Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:50 pm

Still as untalented and void of coherence as you were 3 years ago.

Crazy fuck.

kriptyc · Post by **kriptyc** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:56 pm

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:Still as untalented and void of coherence as you were 3 years ago.

Crazy fuck.

fuck, you're in need of your own koan then:

Tozan's Three Pounds

A monk asked Tozan when he was weighing some flax: `What is Buddha?'

Tozan said: `This flax weighs three pounds.'

Mumon's Comment: Old Tozan's Zen is like a clam. The minute the shell opens you see the whole inside. However, I want to ask you: Do you see the real Tozan?

Three pounds of flax in front of your nose,
Close enough, and mind is still closer.
Whoever talks about affirmation and negation
Lives in the right and wrong region.

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong · Mon Jul 11, 2011 6:59 pm

You're repulsive and completely uninteresting.

*flick*

deathcurse · Post by **deathcurse** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:09 pm

What happened to Barely Awake? Is that your Smile?

kriptyc · Post by **kriptyc** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:12 pm

deathcurse wrote:What happened to Barely Awake? Is that your Smile?

what? I'm out of here.

deathcurse · Post by **deathcurse** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:13 pm

WOOF!

MitziDupree · Post by **MitziDupree** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:15 pm

kriptyc wrote: no, more pathetic than that: you actually copied deathcurse.

Bless his heart.

deathcurse · Post by **deathcurse** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:17 pm

We can read about this thread in his follow-up tome, Fist Ashes of Backwards: A Yeast Among the Hang.

MitziDupree · Post by **MitziDupree** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 7:32 pm

deathcurse wrote:...A Yeast Among the Hang

Pretty much the best koan of all time, dude.

Goddamn Electric · Post by **Goddamn Electric** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 10:37 pm

Grendel wrote:slicer,

What were the paranormal events in your life?

He fucked a ghost dog.

JDV · Post by **JDV** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:34 pm

kriptyc wrote:

http://www.amazon.com/Devils-Canyon-Lin ... 854&sr=1-3

How about a sample chapter since the "author" didn't use the free "Search Inside" feature.

MitziDupree · Post by **MitziDupree** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:27 pm

Good golly!

Those are some really bad reviews. But they're way more entertaining than the bio and synopsis.

I sincerely hope this thread turned out the way kriptyc hoped it would.

Post by **Metal Sludge** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:41 pm

What is it about this site that keeps people coming back for more abuse?

No really...think about all the people we've seen over the years, get their ass handed to them so very brutally, lose their mind, get banned, and then go to lengths to come back for more???

Slicer, Lickety, Pretty Dead Boy? Or one of the countless others...please come answer this question for me.

Gritt · Post by **Gritt** » Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:17 pm

Has PDB tried to slither back in under an alt?

slicer's masterstroke

slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke

Re: slicer's masterstroke