Dink List 2.0- REBOOTED!

Luminiferous · Post by **Luminiferous** » Fri Aug 10, 2012 1:58 pm

Rev. Johnny Tyler: A smiley face? Wow! That was scathing!

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Rev. Johnny Tyler · Post by **Rev. Johnny Tyler** » Mon Sep 10, 2012 5:26 am

MitziDupree wrote:I'm sorry the "Dink List" concept went the way of the "Pre-Owning Party." You certainly gave it a valiant effort. Don't give up, though. It's not your fault that you're dealing with a host of folks with crisper synapses. In a year or two, you'll have another idea. I have confidence in you.

My dink list worked flawlessly here on Sludge just like it works flawlessly in real life and I now enjoy peaceful visits to Sludge where I don't have a slew of idiot dinks following my every post with the same repetitive retardation. Most have given up. There are only a handful of people even left on the list.

You call it "ignoring" me and consider that victory. That's cool, Nosebleed. I call it exactly what I desired to obtain from this thread. I believe my words were something like...

Rev wrote:...My scenery is much prettier. My day is brighter. I have no anchors weighing me down, no naysayers holding me back and no annoying, repetitive dinks bothering me.

Chumps!

MitziDupree · Post by **MitziDupree** » Mon Sep 10, 2012 9:31 am

Again, your sniffling confession that anonymous Sludge posters are able to ugly-up your scenery, darken your day, weigh you down, hold you back and bother you makes you the chump, brainbleed.

We've always known we have that power over you. Viva la Pinata.

Rev. Johnny Tyler · Post by **Rev. Johnny Tyler** » Tue Sep 11, 2012 5:54 am

LOL!

Don't flatter yourself, Stretch. You do what I make you do. When I want you to shut up, you shut up (ignore me) and if you don't shut up, I silence you. When I want you to pipe up and entertain me, I flip a little switch and lookie there! My thread starts right up and rolls as far as I want it to. Thanks for proving my point by responding to me when I wanted you to... Right on cue!

All you need to know, Big Bird, is that at any given time you are doing exactly what I want you to do when it comes to our intercourse on this board.

You will always be my little monkey.

The monkey trap is not a myth!
http://youtu.be/oAyU6wZ_ZUg

MitziDupree · Post by **MitziDupree** » Tue Sep 11, 2012 8:13 am

Rev. Johnny Tyler wrote: You do what I make you do.

So you're saying you MAKE us ugly-up your scenery, darken your day, weigh you down, hold you back and bother you. Got it.

Rev. Johnny Tyler · Post by **Rev. Johnny Tyler** » Tue Sep 11, 2012 9:28 am

You were born to muck up scenery, weigh people down, hold people back, etc. etc. there, Stilts McBurden. I had no control over the genetics of that situation. I only control when and how you display it for the amusement of myself and by proxy, others.

exitflagger · Post by **exitflagger** » Tue Sep 11, 2012 3:04 pm

Rev. Johnny Tyler wrote: when it comes to our intercourse on this board.

He was SO jerking off when he wrote that.

Efilnikufesin · Post by **Efilnikufesin** » Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:35 pm

You betcha he was. More furiously than if a Storage Hunters marathon was on.

Aquanetsuperhold · Post by **Aquanetsuperhold** » Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:12 pm

OH I made a list! Tell us more about my invisible, non-existent husband and his cheating!
Nice try anyway shitstain. Don't feel compelled to respond.

Rev. Johnny Tyler · Post by **Rev. Johnny Tyler** » Fri Nov 09, 2012 4:33 am

Just did a quick search on the names in the Dink List. LOLZ @ y'allz still mentioning me.

I really, legitimately, sincerely, deeply bothered you, didn't I?

Rainbow Bright · Post by **Rainbow Bright** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:18 am

Grendel wrote:You are over 50 and you wear a fedora?

Its proof you can polish a turd. My condolences go out to the fedora.

Rev. Johnny Tyler · Post by **Rev. Johnny Tyler** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 6:43 am

Rainbow Bright wrote:My condolences go out to the fedora.

Hey man... What's up? Did it wear the lotion yet, or is it dead?

Anyway, not only do I PROUDLY sport the fedora, but everyone who comes to one of my shows leaves with one of their own, as well as a shit load of other SWAG.

So ah... Nice burn... As usual, dude! LOLZ! Thanks for noticing and commenting!

MitziDupree · Post by **MitziDupree** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:32 am

They won't come for the music, but a .50 plastic hat should pack them in. You are a marketing genius.

Rainbow Bright · Post by **Rainbow Bright** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:53 am

Bitches love dollar tree fedoras.

Rev. Johnny Tyler · Post by **Rev. Johnny Tyler** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 9:08 am

MitziDupree wrote:They won't come for the music, but a .50 plastic hat should pack them in. You are a marketing genius.

That's exactly right, Mitz. It is difficult to get people our age out to see a simple cover band. There has to be something else going on. We have all sorts of giveaways, raffles, gimmicks, light show, video show and whatnot. We are a party band and we bring the party, complete with big lit-up smiley-face balloons, smiley face stickers, tubes and tubes of glowstick necklaces, bracelets, etc. We have awards for certain things like the "Attendance Award" for showing up on time and signing the board (Gets people there early and keeps them there to wait for the award). No purchase required. Just be there and you can win $$. We also have the "Perfect Attendance Award" which is given out to a person who comes to three shows in a row. We have the "Spread the Ed" award for fans who bring friends, etc. We have games that make people mingle and laugh and they can win money and lottery tickets and whatnot while playing. They all leave smiling, dressed funny, glowing and wanting more.

Damn skippy, baby and I do not deny it.

All of it is Trojan Horse stuff. I roll in with the party, the cover tunes, etc and hidden inside of it all are some strategically placed originals. We get paid and asked back where other bands have failed. We get our originals out in front of crowds where other original bands have failed. Chuckle all you want. It works.

Stoner · Post by **Stoner** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 4:58 pm

Rainbow Bright wrote:Bitches love dollar tree fedoras.

exitflagger · Post by **exitflagger** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 5:40 pm

Rev. Johnny Tyler wrote: It is difficult to get people our age out to see a simple cover band. There has to be something else going on. We have all sorts of giveaways, raffles, gimmicks, light show, video show and whatnot. We are a party band and we bring the party, complete with big lit-up smiley-face balloons, smiley face stickers, tubes and tubes of glowstick necklaces, bracelets, etc. We have awards for certain things like the "Attendance Award" for showing up on time and signing the board (Gets people there early and keeps them there to wait for the award). No purchase required. Just be there and you can win $$. We also have the "Perfect Attendance Award" which is given out to a person who comes to three shows in a row. We have the "Spread the Ed" award for fans who bring friends, etc. We have games that make people mingle and laugh and they can win money and lottery tickets and whatnot while playing. They all leave smiling, dressed funny, glowing and wanting more.

Damn skippy, baby and I do not deny it.

All of it is Trojan Horse stuff. I roll in with the party, the cover tunes, etc and hidden inside of it all are some strategically placed originals. We get paid and asked back where other bands have failed. We get our originals out in front of crowds where other original bands have failed. Chuckle all you want. It works.

Holy shit, that's a helluva a lot of over-compensation for mediocrity.

Rev. Johnny Tyler · Post by **Rev. Johnny Tyler** » Tue Nov 13, 2012 7:43 pm

Sets are 50 minutes each. Games happen during. Prizes happen between with a few random trinkets tossed during, like glow-items for example.
We have games that, going along with the theme, are kinda like "tests" on paper that we hand out. People can fill them out while we play and try to get the highest score. We grade 'em between sets. Winner gets a prize... Shit like that. These are bar and party gigs predominantly. People are at tables or the bar. This seems to work out pretty well for the environment.

We do keep playing through the set though. Keep people moving. Keep the booze flowing for the bar. It's a good time. Seriously. The band is decent.

Rev. Johnny Tyler · Post by **Rev. Johnny Tyler** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 3:25 am

We play standard sets. 13-15 songs per hour. There really isn't a lot extra for us to do during the set besides have the singer toss things here and there... Little quips from the mic, but nothing that pauses the beat really. Most of it is set up and put into motion before the show and during the breaks. The stuff we do is not rocket science. It's just a little step above what the other guy is doing.

Rev. Johnny Tyler · Post by **Rev. Johnny Tyler** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 8:33 am

Well, the gimmicks are to get new people to the shows. I do not walk around thinking my band is so great that everyone knows our name. I can advertise my band till I'm blue in the face, but people don't care. I'm just another shitty, unrehearsed band as far as they are concerned. They've been out to the bars. They know what's out there and I do too.

So... Instead of advertising a regular ol' live cover band at a bar, I advertise it as a themed party with prizes, giveaways, ca$sh, dancing, etc, etc. and I let the "live band" part be sorta "third fiddle" to the rest. I'll go to one advertising source and advertise it as a singles party. I'll go to another source and advertise it as a gay party. At another source I'll call it a Christian Mingle.

Fact is, when all is said and done, singles meet singles, gays meet gays and Christians meet Christians. It was all of the parties I advertised. I got them out to see my band and now I can show them our act and let them hear our stuff. Now they know our name and will recognize it when they see us advertised again.

And I don't take offense. your opinion as a club-goer is valid.
Trust me though. Our fans get all the music you would hope for from a live band. The rest can just be icing on the cake if you only care about the music. Like I said... The beat doesn't really stop.

You local? Come see!

Rev. Johnny Tyler · Post by **Rev. Johnny Tyler** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 8:42 am

Oh c'mon! It's 9 hrs 40 mins / 573.04 miles! That's nothing when there's a free Dollar Store fedora waiting for ya!

MitziDupree · Post by **MitziDupree** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 10:02 am

Rev. Johnny Tyler wrote:
That's exactly right, Mitz. It is difficult to get people our age out to see a simple cover band. There has to be something else going on. We have all sorts of giveaways, raffles, gimmicks, light show, video show and whatnot. We are a party band and we bring the party, complete with big lit-up smiley-face balloons, smiley face stickers, tubes and tubes of glowstick necklaces, bracelets, etc. We have awards for certain things like the "Attendance Award" for showing up on time and signing the board (Gets people there early and keeps them there to wait for the award). No purchase required. Just be there and you can win $$. We also have the "Perfect Attendance Award" which is given out to a person who comes to three shows in a row. We have the "Spread the Ed" award for fans who bring friends, etc. We have games that make people mingle and laugh and they can win money and lottery tickets and whatnot while playing. They all leave smiling, dressed funny, glowing and wanting more.

Damn skippy, baby and I do not deny it.

All of it is Trojan Horse stuff. I roll in with the party, the cover tunes, etc and hidden inside of it all are some strategically placed originals. We get paid and asked back where other bands have failed. We get our originals out in front of crowds where other original bands have failed. Chuckle all you want. It works.

I'm not laughing. You've targeted the 40+ Chuck E Cheese demographic and are taking the "pay to play" concept to a different level. You're not buying tickets, but you've morphed into a carny. If that's the adulation you need, then go for it.

But don't kid yourself about the "strategically placed originals." Anyone who would sit through sets of these shenanigans is not the least bit interested in music. It's simply background noise for their drunk.

*flick* · Post by ***flick*** » Wed Nov 14, 2012 7:36 pm

Rape-n-Rev living the fucking rock-n-roll dream. Slipping occasional originals in between some covers as fat sweaty divorcees stampede the dance floor for glow sticks and plastic fedoras. Rock on brah, rock on.

Rev. Johnny Tyler · Post by **Rev. Johnny Tyler** » Thu Nov 15, 2012 7:20 am

MitziDupree wrote:
I'm not laughing. You've targeted the 40+ Chuck E Cheese demographic and are taking the "pay to play" concept to a different level. You're not buying tickets, but you've morphed into a carny. If that's the adulation you need, then go for it.

But don't kid yourself about the "strategically placed originals." Anyone who would sit through sets of these shenanigans is not the least bit interested in music. It's simply background noise for their drunk.

That's cool, chickie. I do spend money on my show. We do have fun. I still get to do what I love to do and play on stage at age 45 and I still manage to walk away from each show PAID and making a profit, even after expenses. I also sell my disc. People want it and the only music on it is original music.

Don't hate.

exitflagger · Post by **exitflagger** » Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:13 am

Rev. Johnny Tyler wrote:Don't hate.

Is there more of a perfect definition of clueless than starting a thread on the "Hatas" board calling people out and then winding up a post on that very thread with "Don't hate"?

How 'bout "Don't post", Revturd? Give that one a whirl, why doncha.

BlackCrypt · Post by **BlackCrypt** » Thu Nov 15, 2012 10:10 pm

Sounds like you are a bit much on your "simple cover band."

All of this awesomeness sounds just like Family Night at my sons elementary school!

Rev. Johnny Tyler wrote:giveaways, raffles, gimmicks, light show, video show and whatnot.

big lit-up smiley-face balloons, smiley face stickers, tubes and tubes of glowstick necklaces, bracelets, etc.

awards for certain things like the "Attendance Award"

Just be there and you can win

games that make people mingle and laugh

Rev. Johnny Tyler · Post by **Rev. Johnny Tyler** » Fri Nov 16, 2012 6:29 am

BlackCrypt wrote:Sounds like you are a bit much on your "simple cover band."

All of this awesomeness sounds just like Family Night at my sons elementary school!

Wow! Really? So it's almost like we have this weird "SCHOOL" theme going on then, huh?
Man! Maybe I should call my band "The Koolest Kids In Skool" or something, 'cuz we could TOTALLY use that angle!

We could make a logo that looks something like this...

And maybe we could take ourselves too seriously and wear fedoras and dress our singer up all goofy like a science teacher or something and we could call him "Teacher Tom!"

Ya! "Teacher Tom and the Koolest Kids In Skool!" That would be KOOL!!!!

Ya.... School theme... This could work! Thanks for the suggestion!!!

Son_of_Sam_I_Am · Post by **Son_of_Sam_I_Am** » Sat Nov 24, 2012 7:56 am

Rev. Johnny Tyler wrote:we bring the party

Rev. Johnny Tyler wrote:

LMFAO

Caustic Queen · Post by **Caustic Queen** » Sat Nov 24, 2012 8:05 am

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
WTF is that?
The dude in the middle looks like the wheezin whistler from the local morgue.

Endless Yodel · Post by **Endless Yodel** » Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:38 am

Rev, why are your avatar and signature pictures the same?

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