Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
You probably need to post this on the Original Gossip Board, where all the Dream Theater fans are.
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
Remember itjogs? Epic thread. Sadly it's probably gone now, as is he.
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
Come on people. Answer the question. This 60jimmymetal fellow is making an earnest attempt to find his pater familia here.
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
Where's kockstar and his awesome stories of hookers and cocaine?
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
i fucked an escort girl once
Stoner wrote:
...we stopped at a restaurant to eat and I was wearing a Sludge shirt. Someone came up and asked me if I read the messageboard - I touched cloth for a split second and then said the shirt was my husband's and just looked at them retardedly.
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
I fucked a girl in an Escort once. It was horribly cramped.Grendel wrote:Heenan Snuka wrote:i fucked an escort girl once
Do tell! I would, but I fear the whole robbery, hepatitis, pimp, etc., stuff. What was it like?
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RT @hollywoodrose: the more I look at dating websites the more I know its gonna be just me and my @HitachiMagic for my whole life
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
Not my thing. I would rather have a woman who is monogamous over someone sleeping with everybody!
Last edited by HeavyMetalZombie666 on Sat Dec 22, 2012 11:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
Women? We've all kind of figured that out.HeavyMetalZombie666 wrote:Not my thing.
nycrue wrote:Magic Wand Original @HitachiMagic 14 Feb 12
RT @hollywoodrose: the more I look at dating websites the more I know its gonna be just me and my @HitachiMagic for my whole life
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
her face was butt uglyGrendel wrote:Heenan Snuka wrote:i fucked an escort girl once
Do tell! I would, but I fear the whole robbery, hepatitis, pimp, etc., stuff. What was it like?
she handed me the condom as soon as she walked in the door, i didnt even have to ask to fuck
only $200
Stoner wrote:
...we stopped at a restaurant to eat and I was wearing a Sludge shirt. Someone came up and asked me if I read the messageboard - I touched cloth for a split second and then said the shirt was my husband's and just looked at them retardedly.
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
*flick* wrote:
I fucked a girl in an Escort once. It was horribly cramped.
Stoner wrote:
...we stopped at a restaurant to eat and I was wearing a Sludge shirt. Someone came up and asked me if I read the messageboard - I touched cloth for a split second and then said the shirt was my husband's and just looked at them retardedly.
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
I boinked a chick in her Camaro Z28, once. I was bumping her head into the t-roof glass the whole time!*flick* wrote:I fucked a girl in an Escort once. It was horribly cramped.Grendel wrote:Heenan Snuka wrote:i fucked an escort girl once
Do tell! I would, but I fear the whole robbery, hepatitis, pimp, etc., stuff. What was it like?
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
*flick* wrote:I fucked a girl in an Escort once. It was horribly cramped.Grendel wrote:Heenan Snuka wrote:i fucked an escort girl once
Do tell! I would, but I fear the whole robbery, hepatitis, pimp, etc., stuff. What was it like?
Thank God she didn't have horrible cramps instead.....
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
For what it's worth, I didn't think the original poster was looking to have/has had sex with exclusively female prostitutes.*flick* wrote:Women? We've all kind of figured that out.HeavyMetalZombie666 wrote:Not my thing.
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
Olds_71_442 wrote:
I boinked a chick in her Camaro Z28, once. I was bumping her head into the t-roof glass the whole time!
Stoner wrote:
...we stopped at a restaurant to eat and I was wearing a Sludge shirt. Someone came up and asked me if I read the messageboard - I touched cloth for a split second and then said the shirt was my husband's and just looked at them retardedly.
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
I am not into prostitutes. I love women but don't want someone who fucks everything and ends up diseased.Endless Yodel wrote:For what it's worth, I didn't think the original poster was looking to have/has had sex with exclusively female prostitutes.*flick* wrote:Women? We've all kind of figured that out.HeavyMetalZombie666 wrote:Not my thing.
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
Zombie, don't leave your mother wide open like that.HeavyMetalZombie666 wrote:I am not into prostitutes. I love women but don't want someone who fucks everything and ends up diseased.
nycrue wrote:Magic Wand Original @HitachiMagic 14 Feb 12
RT @hollywoodrose: the more I look at dating websites the more I know its gonna be just me and my @HitachiMagic for my whole life
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
All right, confession time.
Yup, I did. Once. By accident.
I know what you're gonna say: "Fuck off, you're lying! How do you fuck a whore by accident? Did you just happen to fall boner first into her open pussy?"
No, that is NOT how it happened.
It was Christmas eve. I shit you not.
I was 17 and still living with my parents although already working and earning a somewhat decent living. We had all gone to Bordeaux for the holidays to have Christmas with my Dad's side of the family. My grandparents, my uncles, aunts, cousins etc...
Wait, this is going somewhere.
After a whole day of family reunion crap and playing with my cousins I decided I needed a short break so I headed out looking for a bar to have a beer or two before dinner. Bear inmind dinner in France is usually around nine, and even later on Holidays.
Of course, nothing is open because it's France and it's fucking Christmas. So I walk around for a while and finally find a bar that's open.
Yay!
I go in, order a beer. It's fucking pricey but I don't even question it. Then after a while a hot HOT woman comes over and asks me to buy her a drink. She has an Elvira-style cleavage and a skirt so tight I could almost count her pubic hair... had she had any.
Me? I'm clueless. I honestly think this woman wants me to buy her a drink. In retrospect it is so fucking obvious she was a prostitute, but it didn't hit me.
We have a few drinks, she laughs at all my jokes. She's happy, I'm happy, the bartender is happy, all is well.
Then she whispers in my ears something that translates into: "Wanna come to my place?"
Now, I have to have Christmas dinner with my family in a couple of hours. But I'm drunk and I'm horny and I'm seventeen so of course I say yes.
We walk out the bar (where the tab was outrageous)
and start walking up the stairs. Still clueless, I ask: "Wow, you live in the same building as the bar? How cool"
Then on the third floor (the room was on the fifth) it hit me. Of course, how could I be so stupid? It takes me another two floors to muster up the courage to ask her. After all, if she said "no, I am NOT a hooker!!!" not only did I risk not getting laid, I risked getting kicked in the balls with some very pointy heels.
Still, just as she was taking out her keys to enter her little bedroom with open kitchen (communal showers and toilet were in the hallway!!!) I ask: "Hey, huh, sorry, huh, don't want to insult you or anything, huh, but, huh... is this going to cost me money?"
She gazed upon me with great pity and said: "well of course, what did you think?"
I wanted to say I was hoping she liked me for me and I was going to get balls deep in her for free with no strings attached, but all I asid was "How much?"
She said 2OO Fancs for a blowjob and 400 for a fuck. Yup, that was back when France still used Francs
I looked in my wallet and said: "Hey, sorry, that bar tab cost me a shitload of money, all I have is 50 Francs."
She seemed annoyed for a second then said: "Ah, fuck it, it's Christmas!"
She sucked my dick for 50 Francs and swallowed every drop before wishing me a merry Christmas.
I went back to my grandparents where everyone had started drinking apéritif. My cousins, ten years younger, greeted me at the door and wanted me to come play with them. I said "in a little while". I sat on the couch and passed out until dinner time.
Merry fucking Christmas indeed.
Yup, I did. Once. By accident.
I know what you're gonna say: "Fuck off, you're lying! How do you fuck a whore by accident? Did you just happen to fall boner first into her open pussy?"
No, that is NOT how it happened.
It was Christmas eve. I shit you not.
I was 17 and still living with my parents although already working and earning a somewhat decent living. We had all gone to Bordeaux for the holidays to have Christmas with my Dad's side of the family. My grandparents, my uncles, aunts, cousins etc...
Wait, this is going somewhere.
After a whole day of family reunion crap and playing with my cousins I decided I needed a short break so I headed out looking for a bar to have a beer or two before dinner. Bear inmind dinner in France is usually around nine, and even later on Holidays.
Of course, nothing is open because it's France and it's fucking Christmas. So I walk around for a while and finally find a bar that's open.
Yay!
I go in, order a beer. It's fucking pricey but I don't even question it. Then after a while a hot HOT woman comes over and asks me to buy her a drink. She has an Elvira-style cleavage and a skirt so tight I could almost count her pubic hair... had she had any.
Me? I'm clueless. I honestly think this woman wants me to buy her a drink. In retrospect it is so fucking obvious she was a prostitute, but it didn't hit me.
We have a few drinks, she laughs at all my jokes. She's happy, I'm happy, the bartender is happy, all is well.
Then she whispers in my ears something that translates into: "Wanna come to my place?"
Now, I have to have Christmas dinner with my family in a couple of hours. But I'm drunk and I'm horny and I'm seventeen so of course I say yes.
We walk out the bar (where the tab was outrageous)
and start walking up the stairs. Still clueless, I ask: "Wow, you live in the same building as the bar? How cool"
Then on the third floor (the room was on the fifth) it hit me. Of course, how could I be so stupid? It takes me another two floors to muster up the courage to ask her. After all, if she said "no, I am NOT a hooker!!!" not only did I risk not getting laid, I risked getting kicked in the balls with some very pointy heels.
Still, just as she was taking out her keys to enter her little bedroom with open kitchen (communal showers and toilet were in the hallway!!!) I ask: "Hey, huh, sorry, huh, don't want to insult you or anything, huh, but, huh... is this going to cost me money?"
She gazed upon me with great pity and said: "well of course, what did you think?"
I wanted to say I was hoping she liked me for me and I was going to get balls deep in her for free with no strings attached, but all I asid was "How much?"
She said 2OO Fancs for a blowjob and 400 for a fuck. Yup, that was back when France still used Francs
I looked in my wallet and said: "Hey, sorry, that bar tab cost me a shitload of money, all I have is 50 Francs."
She seemed annoyed for a second then said: "Ah, fuck it, it's Christmas!"
She sucked my dick for 50 Francs and swallowed every drop before wishing me a merry Christmas.
I went back to my grandparents where everyone had started drinking apéritif. My cousins, ten years younger, greeted me at the door and wanted me to come play with them. I said "in a little while". I sat on the couch and passed out until dinner time.
Merry fucking Christmas indeed.
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
Considering how much divorces cost, sometimes I wonder if it would have been cheaper to pay-to-fuck.
Fuck you
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
Nailed an older woman at work, decent enough looking but was more going for the post 30's notch than anything.
Found out after she was one for about 3 years in her late teens. Does that count?
Found out after she was one for about 3 years in her late teens. Does that count?
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Re: Has anyonenhad sex with a prostitute?
Heenan Snuka wrote:her face was butt uglyGrendel wrote:Heenan Snuka wrote:i fucked an escort girl once
Do tell! I would, but I fear the whole robbery, hepatitis, pimp, etc., stuff. What was it like?
she handed me the condom as soon as she walked in the door, i didnt even have to ask to fuck
only $200
I think it's sort of a given!