Ho Board Porno Workshop

[jahlive 420]

up the ass = thread ruiner

[chickenona]

This thread is far stronger than uptheass's run on blather. But in the interest of remaining on-topic, I will now write a brief porn in the style of uptheass. Please enjoy.

i am more than man enough to satisfy my wife my wife is very sexually fulfilled i eat plenty of pussy and my dick is like a billy club come back when you know something about fucking your wife

owned

[Iron Duck]

you are pathetic itpayswhorestosleepwithhimcozhestoouglyamongus you spend all your time on the internet writing this kind of trash while your wife is at home fantasizing about baseball players you must be a real ugly greasy haired world of warcraft player to have to write this kind of things on the internet you need to get a life

"all his time on the internet writing this kind of trash" - 14 days = fail

[UnknownLegend]

.

[chickenona]

Wow, you almost made him seem hot.

I'm throwin' in the towel. That WAS way better than mine.

[*Twilight*]

I don't have anything to contribute, but i'll give it a BUMP cause it's a great thread

[jahlive 420]

This thread is far stronger than uptheass's run on blather. But in the interest of remaining on-topic, I will now write a brief porn in the style of uptheass. Please enjoy.

i am more than man enough to satisfy my wife my wife is very sexually fulfilled i eat plenty of pussy and my dick is like a billy club come back when you know something about fucking your wife

owned

it probably takes him less time to blow his load than it takes to read that.

owned

[uptheass]

you are pathetic itpayswhorestosleepwithhimcozhestoouglyamongus you spend all your time on the internet writing this kind of trash while your wife is at home fantasizing about baseball players you must be a real ugly greasy haired world of warcraft player to have to write this kind of things on the internet you need to get a life

"all his time on the internet writing this kind of trash" - 14 days = fail

this guy has taken more time than 14 days to write this kind of crap and he knows it if he keeps following me around and wrtiting this kind of crap on the internet then it is no wonder that he has nothing to do with his time but type this kind of garbage and tell everyone about his whores since thats the only thing that he can talk about is whores and me and its sad

[CrouchingStonerHiddenBong]

That oughta work. I can't imagine that will make him want to keep shitting on this thread at all.

[Rainbow Bright]

you are pathetic itpayswhorestosleepwithhimcozhestoouglyamongus you spend all your time on the internet writing this kind of trash while your wife is at home fantasizing about baseball players you must be a real ugly greasy haired world of warcraft player to have to write this kind of things on the internet you need to get a life

"all his time on the internet writing this kind of trash" - 14 days = fail

this guy has taken more time than 14 days to write this kind of crap and he knows it if he keeps following me around and wrtiting this kind of crap on the internet then it is no wonder that he has nothing to do with his time but type this kind of garbage and tell everyone about his whores since thats the only thing that he can talk about is whores and me and its sad

Unless you got an enema in a bathtub and get candlewax scraped off of your back, I would say its time for your retarded ass to get the fuck on the short bus and shut the hell up

Thanks in advance

[chickenona]

Well, there's always options like the foe button and the lower-tech version thereof, scrolling past, to deal with uptheass.

[uptheass]

Uptheass, get off the fucking thread. Ok, you're right. I have spent way more than 14 days writing about whores, but still less time than it takes for you to apply chap stick to your fucking sperm flaked stupid mouth.

Take this bullshit somewhere else. I like this thread. I want to read the contributions and not your endless unpunctuated drool, whoever the fuck you are.

Really. Get the fuck off the thread.

of course you like this thread its the only place where anyone like you who has to pay for girls to sleep with him can talk about it or jack off over something that a trannie writes for you to get excited about there is lots of porn that is on the internet for you to read or download im sure you know that but you dont care about that you just want to talk about what a loser you are that you have to pay girls to sleep with you thats so sad you need to spend your time doing someting with yourself

[chickenona]

How many of you guys fantasize about guys you would never actually fuck in real life?

Once when I was about 19, one of the local bums who hung out under the train trestle bridge invited me back to his house to get high. Only it wasn't actually his house, it was his grandmother's house, and she was home at the time, so I figured I was safe. His name was Marcel and he was a few years older than me, and so short I think he may have technically been a midget. We went up to his bedroom to get high and he told me this wacky-ass story about a gypsy fortuneteller who was a friend of his grandmothers' and how she offered to take him into her parlor to read his fortune but when she got him in there with the curtain closed she took him on her lap and jerked him off. He swore that when he nutted, no jizz came out - just SMOKE.

Then he pounced on me. But I was quite a bit bigger than him, so I was able to overpower him, take him down and run out, my buzz ruined.

He was undersized and ugly, and he repulsed me. And yet...

I have recurring fantasies about what would have happened if I'd let it go on. I imagine letting this ugly little fucker force himself on me, use and degrade me, piss on me. Just horrible disgusting stuff that I didn't even do with Tim. I imagine him with a freakishly huge dick like a smoking gun. And whenever he makes an appearance in my fantasies and I think about this stuff I nut, HARD.

Anybody else have fantasies that are so removed from your reality and sense of self they embarrass you and make you hate yourself?

[UnknownLegend]

.

[UnknownLegend]

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[chickenona]

I'm almost thinking it's worth exploring. Although that might ruin the effectiveness of the fantasies.

[uptheass]

of course you like this thread its the only place where anyone like you who has to pay for girls to sleep with him can talk about it or jack off over something that a trannie writes for you to get excited about there is lots of porn that is on the internet for you to read or download im sure you know that but you dont care about that you just want to talk about what a loser you are that you have to pay girls to sleep with you thats so sad you need to spend your time doing someting with yourself

For someone who claims to not be interested in porn or whores, you have read and absorbed every last word written by Itjogs. Maybe you actually enjoy it a lot more than you want to believe. Or maybe you are obsessed with his superior writing skills.

ive never said i wasnt interested in porn so you need to learn to read before you even address an ownmiester like myself iam not the one bragging to a bunch of people on the internet about having to pay a woman my hard earned money to sleep with me

owned

[UnknownLegend]

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[MotleyMaiden]

ive never said i wasnt interested in porn so you need to learn to read before you even address an ownmiester like myself iam not the one bragging to a bunch of people on the internet about having to pay a woman my hard earned money to sleep with me

owned

Who's bragging? You are the only one who sees it that way and also the only one who seems bothered by it. What's it to you? If you don't like to read about it, then don't. It's pretty simple.

He is obviously insanely jealous of the fact itjogs is literate and knows how to punctuate his paragraphs.

[Rainbow Bright]

One more before I go out for the night:

It was the night before Superbowl. I'm partially drunk and hop a cap downtown to the local Dungeon. Where my Sugar Daddy arrived just before I did. Despite the bitter cold, I'm clad in my blue and black dress with a blue and black striped undershirt. That quickly gets discarded as I slip into one of the many outfits I have at said Sugar Daddy's casa: the black PVC dress. I don a gas mask and get chained (and locked to) a cross while I get paddled by anyone that happened to walk by.

After that, we go socialize (complete with a rather adorable pink collar and Daddy walking me around on a leash and showing me off) and secure a vacant medical play room. Here. I get hogtied while being face down. Where I'm spanked until my ass is beat red. Then, Sugar Daddy sticks a vibe in my ass and ZOMG! it was awesome. I was helpless to do anything but just go with it. And go with it I did. I also gave great head while being hog tied and the toy in my bum. Mainly because if my mouth left down low, I would get paddled.

Afterwards, we cuddle and I change again into the blue outfit, with a vinyl black trenchcoat and matching wrist length gloves. I was shown around again (still on the leash) much to the oohs, ahhs and coo's to the folk present. We parted sadly because he can't fit in my small ass bed.

[TawnyVonJagger]

My love for Rbo has skyrocketed. <3

[CrouchingStonerHiddenBong]

When I was coked out, I would jerk off so long that if I didn't continue to snort and apply baby oil to my cock, it was too excruciating to continue. My dick became so raw, that if I lost my high, touching it would make me scream in pain. I'm talking marathon sessions that would last 48 hours. I often wouldn't leave my room, I would actually piss in a hefty bag.

Jesus fucking Christ, that is seriously the nastiest fucking shit I have ever read here.

EVER.

[chickenona]

"chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest" = judgment-free zone. All jizz-licking, anemias in the bathtub, golden showers from retarded midgets and peeing in trashbags are welcome here.

That's actually not the first time I've heard about that sort of thing when marathon cocaine use is in effect. Guys (and girls) peeing in milk jugs, trashcans, the catbox, etc. because they didn't want to leave the room they were in. It was why I personally gave up on cocaine. It shrinks your world.

[CrouchingStonerHiddenBong]

"chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest" = judgment-free zone.

Keep telling yourself that.

[chickenona]

After that, we go socialize (complete with a rather adorable pink collar and Daddy walking me around on a leash and showing me off) and secure a vacant medical play room. Here. I get hogtied while being face down. Where I'm spanked until my ass is beat red. Then, Sugar Daddy sticks a vibe in my ass and ZOMG! it was awesome. I was helpless to do anything but just go with it. And go with it I did. I also gave great head while being hog tied and the toy in my bum. Mainly because if my mouth left down low, I would get paddled.

Also, this = HOT.

It sounds like Sugar Daddy is really expanding your horizons, RBO. What relationship do you have? Is it strictly S & M or are you friends outside of the head?

[chickenona]

"chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest" = judgment-free zone.

Keep telling yourself that.

Well, I certainly never got the feeling I've been judged by what I put up here. And others' willingness to open up seems to indicate a trend.

[chickenona]

Also it's interesting to see where these fantasies take us. I fantasize about a very brief, ultimately harmless encounter, exaggerating its ugliness until I wallow in it, to get where I need to be. By contrast, Itjogs took some grim circumstances and built a romantic tableau upon them.

I wonder what that actually says about which of us is really "healthier".

[CrouchingStonerHiddenBong]

Well, I certainly never got the feeling I've been judged by what I put up here. And others' willingness to open up seems to indicate a trend.

If you honestly think that you can post these kinds of things (especially on this board of all places) and people aren't forming some kind of judgement - you're high.

Oh wait...

But for the record, nobody's saying you've got to give a fuck about what anybody thinks about it, either.

[chickenona]

Well, let's put it another way - I have felt no negative repercussions for what I've put up here. And my shit's been up a while.

[saracapri]

My best friend (in high school) was a bulimic. She used to barf into jars and hide it under her bed. Her mom found it and told my mom. I loved her to death, she was like a sister to me, but that's just fucking gross and I told her so.