List of objects you have fucked people with...

[deathcurse]

OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD...


PILLSBURY CINNAMON ROLLS WITH ICING! TUBE
500 ML SIMONIZ DIAMOND HARD WAX CONTAINER
ROSEMARY BRAISED LAMB SHANK
70 CL LINDISFARNE MEAD BOTTLE
GIANT ALASKAN SEA CUCUMBER
TWELVE INCH BRONZE REPLICA OF THE EIFFEL TOWER
RICHARD GERE BRAND BURROW MAGIC!™ GERBIL
REED ST. MARK'S OVERSIZED DRUM STICKS FROM THE TO MEGA THERION EUROPEAN TOUR

This made me laugh so hard I cried.

[Skate4RnR]

The Brits have the best alts.

[amouthfulofsin220]

Pestle & mortar

You sound like my kinda man.

I had this posted on here a little while ago but I took it down:

Candle
lectern pointer
soap crayon
dildos
rabbit vibrator
churchill sized cigar tube (Cohiba, no cheap fuckers are gonna be breaching this fortress)

beyond the obvious (dick, fingers, tongue) -

candles (various sizes)
handle of a whip
slim glass vase (sounds worse than it is)
baton (the clear kind, with the giitter and rhinestones inside)
dildos/vibrators
cucumber
banana
lollipop (cherry flavored)
handle of a brush
slim plastic bottle

Does someone eating bonbons or fruit out of your cookie count? (not the best idea, but it seemed like it at the time )

[cookie]

Pestle & mortar

You sound like my kinda man.

I had this posted on here a little while ago but I took it down:

Candle
lectern pointer
soap crayon
dildos
rabbit vibrator
churchill sized cigar tube (Cohiba, no cheap fuckers are gonna be breaching this fortress)

beyond the obvious (dick, fingers, tongue) -

candles (various sizes)
handle of a whip
slim glass vase (sounds worse than it is)
baton (the clear kind, with the giitter and rhinestones inside)
dildos/vibrators
cucumber
banana
lollipop (cherry flavored)
handle of a brush
slim plastic bottle

Does someone eating bonbons or fruit out of your cookie count? (not the best idea, but it seemed like it at the time )

You call your twat a cookie?

[amouthfulofsin220]

I call it a lot of things, depending on the day...

twat
cunt
muffin
panocha
vajayjay
scarlet lily
slit
honeypot, etc...



P.S. - I've always liked your sig.

[cookie]

Fanks hun. Gotta love the Bloodhound gang

[JDoom]

I used to go out with a girl who told me that she tried to fuck herself with a hot dog. When it didn't work out she threw it in the back yard for her dog to eat.

I know how to pick 'em.

I, myself...
Ice cubes
Medium sized shampoo bottle
A lime, (unpeeled)
EV ND/767 microphone, (with a condom)
Mag Light
A series of Popsicles
My big toe
I was going out with a girl last year who liked to grind on the neck of one of my guitars, (she liked guitars A LOT)

[amouthfulofsin220]

I used to go out with a girl who told me that she tried to fuck herself with a hot dog. When it didn't work out she threw it in the back yard for her dog to eat.

Aren't hot dogs kinda, well...limp? it wouldn't have worked unless she splinted it with two popsicle sticks OR it was frozen - both not a good idea.

How do you explain splinters - or frostbite - in your cunt?

Ice cubes
A lime

...add some sugar and a dash of tequila and you could've had a vagarita *rimshot*

I was going out with a girl last year who liked to grind on the neck of one of my guitars, (she liked guitars A LOT)

That's actually really hot.

Does doing the deed on the keyboard of an upright piano count?

Not a good idea, but now that I look back, it sounded like a Philip Glass concert

[bigpaparob74]

Twizzler

[Liquid Boom Boom]

Maggots? WTF? Are you serious?

Of the things not listed, I would like to add a remote control for my stereo(totally random) and a Cleveland Classic 8.5 Degree driver...the grip end, wrapped in plastic(it was brand new). Best drive I ever hit w/that thing.

[justinjc7]

Agreed.

Keeping in mind i am only 17.
I have had in me;
A razor
Nail polish
A lighter
Tongue
Dick
Fingers

damnn. i dont believe we've met