Ho Board Porno Workshop

[uptheass]

[cookie]

Two props, Cling film/saran wrap and lube.
No ick factor, all the sensation.
NOT keen on having it done to me, it makes me feel deeply nervous.

[Kristi Vanian]

uptheass, I have no idea what you posted there and I don't give a shit, but please, get out of my thread and go back to doing what you do best - kissing popular-kid ass while hiding behind a viciously nasty alternym and pretending not to have an agenda.

this is not just your thread it is just as much my thread as it is your thread

Uhh, no. Actually it's not, Fag. You're name's not in the title, you contribute nothing. You just post here to piss everyone off.

Sorry I qouted him, Chicke. That just made me mad.

[chickenona]

Hahaha, that's okay.

I really don't mind people quoting him. For a while I used to go around saying "don't quote him" all the time as a way of reminding people that they are free to foe his posts because so many people bitch about him. Normally, his posts appear to me as a bar that barely shows up and I don't even see them. However, I treat this thread differently, and pay closer attention to it.

Thanks for backin' me up.

[Kristi Vanian]

I usually do ignore him, but that post was so full of stupid, it had to be addressed.

[amouthfulofsin220]

So. Right.

Anyway, something on this page has made me think of rimming. You know, salad-tossing. Butt-licking. It tends to be one of those things that gives most people the heebie-jeebies - as a sex act, it's pretty out there. Thinking about it sets a submissive person's erotic spidey-senses tingling, but doing it is just kinda medium-yucky.

Where do you guys stand on salad-tossing? Do you do it? Do you enjoy the receiving end but avoid the giving end, or vice versa? Do you fantasize about doing it but avoid it in real life like I do?

Gimme something here.

Love the description!

I'm going to be really clinical here, so bear with me.

Women: if it's a girlfriend, someone I'm close to and whose sexual health and hygiene I'm familiar with - all systems go.

Men: Honestly, the thought sets my teeth on edge. Yes, I wrote it down for the odd connoisseur, but I know it's not for the faint of heart...but the same rules apply as with women, with some additional stipulations *. It has to be someone I know well enough, who I'm writhing in lust over. If he wants his salad tossed, he'll have to polish that ass 'till it gleams...and proper manscaping is a must.

a must have for the n00bs:
http://www.stockroom.com/Butt-Pirate-P3392.aspx

*this, of course, may or may not apply in certain BDSM situations, but a girl can dream, right?

[chickenona]

Hahahaha @ "Butt Pirate is a vegan product". Because damn, you wouldn't want any unwanted meat in your ass.

I love you, girl.

[SugarMama]

It does nothing for me, personally, and I am not a fan of doing it.

Translation : Haven't yet, don't think I ever will.

[chickenona]

OH

HELL

YEAH

Where've YOU been?

[amouthfulofsin220]

EDIT

[chickenona]

Hahaha, my kid is sixteen now - and has a driving permit and a username on this board.

Here's hoping we're all in as good economic shape at the end of this Clinton administration as we were at the end of the last one. Looks like the health care plan is going straight into the dumper like last time.

We won't talk about what happened in between, lest we're shot in the face by an angry Dick Cheney.

That whole War Board crew is pretty well dispersed, the last time I remember seeing Scorp post was over a year ago. Woland shows up once in a while. Rev got banned after making himself the board pariah. AKONI is probably in a rubber room somewhere. I rarely go over to that board now.

I sit here and write filth instead.

It's good to see the real important stuff has stayed the same! Welcome back. You readin' the whole thread? I spill my guts about fuckin' Cliff Burton.

[chickenona]

Oh, and mouthfulofsin220 - awesome work as usual. I really dug the ending too.

[uptheass]

uptheass, I have no idea what you posted there and I don't give a shit, but please, get out of my thread and go back to doing what you do best - kissing popular-kid ass while hiding behind a viciously nasty alternym and pretending not to have an agenda.

this is not just your thread it is just as much my thread as it is your thread

Uhh, no. Actually it's not, Fag. You're name's not in the title, you contribute nothing. You just post here to piss everyone off.

Sorry I qouted him, Chicke. That just made me mad.

my name does not need to be in the title for it be my thread if it is not a pm it belongs to everyone come back when you understand how a message board works

take your time

[amouthfulofsin220]

Where's Rainbow?

[chickenona]

I dunno, but she really needs to pick up the slack here. She hasn't been posting a lot lately.

[uptheass]

great stuff...always gets my blood boiling...I'll try to contribute soon when I get some spare time...and some inspiration...

some inpiration for you would never happen you fat sack of shit

[chickenona]

Got another Katey anecdote I'm working on. Hoping to get it up here before I go to work at three.

[chickenona]

Well fuckin' A, I had a whole story about hanging out with Katey on Saturday then going to see Doc afterwards 3/4ths of the way done and Firefox shut down on me and I lost it. Motherfucker. Oh well, I'll re-do it when I get out of work tonight.

[uptheass]

Well fuckin' A, I had a whole story about hanging out with Katey on Saturday then going to see Doc afterwards 3/4ths of the way done and Firefox shut down on me and I lost it. Motherfucker. Oh well, I'll re-do it when I get out of work tonight.

does your employer know what you spend your time at work working on that sounds like it would be considered fraud to me

[Kristi Vanian]

She said she'd re-do after she got OUT of work tonight. She didn't say she was working on it while she's at work. Learn to read.

[uptheass]

She said she'd re-do after she got OUT of work tonight. She didn't say she was working on it while she's at work. Learn to read.

she edited it after i told her to not be working on that at work come back when you know something

[Ham Stroker's Ejacula]

Thanks for giving this thread shingles, bro.

[uptheass]

Thanks for giving this thread shingles, bro.

what are shingles

[Rainbow Bright]

I've been MIA for awhile, so I figured I would post something neato that happened over the weekend.

Saturday. Hung over and sore as fuck from the UK Subs gig, I get a phone call around four ish. Its Sugar Daddy. And he was going to be in around 8 ish with our dear Mistress friend and a sweet fickle T-Girl that we met at a kink party a few weeks ago.

They arrive and we get stoned to the bejeesus. Amber (The other T-Girl) gets all dolled up in leather and 7 inch stiletto heels. I counter balance with a frilly pink dress, complete with the pink collar, red and pink petticoats to pouf the dress out to the max, a pink collar, red and white rhumba panties, a pink pacifier and to top it off, double layered Depends. Oh yeah. I went as a bratty three year old to a kink party.

Things were pretty slow. Only a few scenes going on, but I did watch a girl get pierced all the way around her nipples and a cutesey design with the needles around her breast. I also watched some suspension and this one heavier gal get completely wrapped in saran wrap and duct tape to form a hobble skirt of sorts. However, it was minus a section, and it left the bare ass exposed. And she was paddled until she screamed.

We go back to a Japanese themed room, where Amber was tied to an ottoman, and fucked in the ass with a flogger handle after she was beaten red with it. Being that I was still super hungover and exhausted from the show last night, I mostly observed Amber, as we're going to be play partners for future events.

Though I was tied to her towards the end of the night and we were both swatted a few times before bed. Bed of course was fun. I was restrained to the mattress via velcro restraints before I was tucked in.

[chickenona]

She said she'd re-do after she got OUT of work tonight. She didn't say she was working on it while she's at work. Learn to read.

she edited it after i told her to not be working on that at work come back when you know something

Oh for Christ's sake.

HOLY FUCK, LOOK! I'VE FOED YOU AND YET HERE I AM READING YOUR POSTS AND QUOTING YOU!!! Man, if I gave a fuck about my board cred this would be a real blow to it. I clearly have no regard for the rules of being really, really cool on this board like you do.

Look, you've got EVERY OTHER THREAD on this board to ruin with your run-on crap. Apparently a lot of people on the board really dig you. I still don't, I think you're a butt-sucking tool and the fact that you're probably somebody I've been friendly with under your regular name bums me out. Stay the fuck off of my porn thread unless you're bringing porn and not your bullshit, you're driving people away.

Also cram your eye-rollies up your ass.

RBO, it's about time you showed up on YOUR thread! Diggin' the latest anecdote.

[SugarMama]

Ya know, if uptheass was real, he'd be jacking off in ecstasy over the fact that you acknowledge him at all.

[chickenona]

Anyway, now that I've thrown that diva fit - to which I am wholly entitled on my own thread, and which was NOT THE SLIGHTEST BIT LAME OR GAY - the mention of double-layer Depends in RBO's post makes for a good segue into my new Katey anecdote.

[amouthfulofsin220]

Damn it, Chicke, you had my eyes shrink wrapped with tears...

Amazing

[chickenona]

[

[Succubyss]

BAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh god, I'm going to hell - I actually LOL'ed in the school library...

Goddamn - if you have "Teh Power" then that little bitch isn't gonna have sex ever again either!

S (besides, it was just a "cardiac event")