Ho Board Porno Workshop
Moderator: Metal Sludge
- Orionslavegirl1
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
Did someone say TRENT?
Oh and Taime Down on the same page..Typical
Oh and Taime Down on the same page..Typical
- UnknownLegend
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
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Last edited by UnknownLegend on Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
You fuck chicks on your way to learn ballroom dancing?Itjogsamongus wrote: I had no problem fucking a bitch in an alley way on my to the dancing studio or The White Castle.
GreazyNutz wrote:Dale Jr never calls in to work. Even after his pappy got kilt by Sterling Marlin, he was right back to racin the next week.
- CrouchingStonerHiddenBong
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
I think it's supposed to be a dirty version of "Saturday Night Fever" or some shit.
Seriously, if this is turning into a comedy contest, I'm entering.
Seriously, if this is turning into a comedy contest, I'm entering.
tym wrote:She makes My air head 11 year old Girl look like Nikita Tesla.
- CrouchingStonerHiddenBong
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
I do not know yet what you are to me
as when I was small
and did not yet know what to call
my knee
just that it belonged on my body
and I walked easier because of it
I do not know yet
how long I will let your scent linger
before I force myself to wash
I want to inhale you, draw you into my lungs
hold you inside me until I turn blue
I want to tie you to my bed and make you mine
I want you there waiting without being asked
because you want it, too
I do not know yet
how long we can talk like this
how many secrets we will tell
scars unveil
how much of me you will let in
but when I put on this clown suit
I want to rape the shit out of you.
HONK! HONK!
as when I was small
and did not yet know what to call
my knee
just that it belonged on my body
and I walked easier because of it
I do not know yet
how long I will let your scent linger
before I force myself to wash
I want to inhale you, draw you into my lungs
hold you inside me until I turn blue
I want to tie you to my bed and make you mine
I want you there waiting without being asked
because you want it, too
I do not know yet
how long we can talk like this
how many secrets we will tell
scars unveil
how much of me you will let in
but when I put on this clown suit
I want to rape the shit out of you.
HONK! HONK!
tym wrote:She makes My air head 11 year old Girl look like Nikita Tesla.
Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
I'm too shy to write my biggest fantasy here, but let's just say it involves Lars Ulrich running into me on the way to his cake decorating class.
GreazyNutz wrote:Dale Jr never calls in to work. Even after his pappy got kilt by Sterling Marlin, he was right back to racin the next week.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
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Last edited by UnknownLegend on Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- chickenona
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
He's making it up as he goes along.
vaya con DIOdeathcurse wrote:The secret board you had with Itjogs. You talked about me obsessively on there. There were witnesses.
http://nevergetbusted.com/2010/
- CrouchingStonerHiddenBong
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
If he wins his own contest, does it mean he gets to fuck himself?
tym wrote:She makes My air head 11 year old Girl look like Nikita Tesla.
- chickenona
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
You ain't seen my entry yet.
I'm gonna pick a random poster and write a porn about them. It's gonna rock the house.
But let him go on. Let the hos see what he's got. He'll be replacing Joe Elliot in their middle-aged night-sweat-inducing fantasies quite shortly here. They'll all be getting Stars of David tattooed on their asses.
This kid working on the remodel at the grocery store has a Star of David tattoo on the inside of his forearm. He's kinda cute. An embryonic Hebrew love god. Maybe I'll write a porn about him.
I'm gonna pick a random poster and write a porn about them. It's gonna rock the house.
But let him go on. Let the hos see what he's got. He'll be replacing Joe Elliot in their middle-aged night-sweat-inducing fantasies quite shortly here. They'll all be getting Stars of David tattooed on their asses.
This kid working on the remodel at the grocery store has a Star of David tattoo on the inside of his forearm. He's kinda cute. An embryonic Hebrew love god. Maybe I'll write a porn about him.
vaya con DIOdeathcurse wrote:The secret board you had with Itjogs. You talked about me obsessively on there. There were witnesses.
http://nevergetbusted.com/2010/
- CrouchingStonerHiddenBong
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
This shit is like watching your parents fuck.
tym wrote:She makes My air head 11 year old Girl look like Nikita Tesla.
- MotleyMaiden
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:This shit is like watching your parents fuck.
- chickenona
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
I had actually decided that I was going to randomly pick a poster on whom to base a porno by whatever name had posted last on the Lounge the other day.
I logged on, and the last name to post on the Lounge was Burgundy Trash. I'm thinking I'm gonna call a do-over on that one.
I logged on, and the last name to post on the Lounge was Burgundy Trash. I'm thinking I'm gonna call a do-over on that one.
vaya con DIOdeathcurse wrote:The secret board you had with Itjogs. You talked about me obsessively on there. There were witnesses.
http://nevergetbusted.com/2010/
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
you what would make a great porno, would be something involving Phil Lewis, his spoon, and licking the cum off the said spoon.
- UnknownLegend
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
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Last edited by UnknownLegend on Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- chickenona
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
Fuck yes, not fuckin' bad!
vaya con DIOdeathcurse wrote:The secret board you had with Itjogs. You talked about me obsessively on there. There were witnesses.
http://nevergetbusted.com/2010/
- UnknownLegend
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
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Last edited by UnknownLegend on Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- chickenona
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
You can submit as much as you can write. No boundaries. We're free-flowing here.
vaya con DIOdeathcurse wrote:The secret board you had with Itjogs. You talked about me obsessively on there. There were witnesses.
http://nevergetbusted.com/2010/
- Ham Stroker's Ejacula
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
I have pretty vivid memories of some of the threesomes I engaged in with some lovely ladies (including dorm roommates) back during college in the mid-80s, so maybe I'll be inspired to draft up a little reality porn.
- chickenona
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
You should. It would totally make up for that monstrosity on Page 1.Ham Stroker's Ejacula wrote:I have pretty vivid memories of some of the threesomes I engaged in with some lovely ladies (including dorm roommates) back during college in the mid-80s, so maybe I'll be inspired to draft up a little reality porn.
vaya con DIOdeathcurse wrote:The secret board you had with Itjogs. You talked about me obsessively on there. There were witnesses.
http://nevergetbusted.com/2010/
- Ham Stroker's Ejacula
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
That disgusting monstrosity on page 1 was a cut n' paste to see if anyone would react in a way that Black Dog did (and right out of the gate ). I'll make amends and post something that I personally engaged in.
- CrouchingStonerHiddenBong
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
tym wrote:She makes My air head 11 year old Girl look like Nikita Tesla.
- UnknownLegend
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
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Last edited by UnknownLegend on Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- chickenona
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
GO UNKNOWN LEGEND GO!!!
Show these men how it's done.
Show these men how it's done.
vaya con DIOdeathcurse wrote:The secret board you had with Itjogs. You talked about me obsessively on there. There were witnesses.
http://nevergetbusted.com/2010/
- UnknownLegend
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
.
Last edited by UnknownLegend on Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- chickenona
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
They're both pretty good. This one has the edge because your principals got off here though.
vaya con DIOdeathcurse wrote:The secret board you had with Itjogs. You talked about me obsessively on there. There were witnesses.
http://nevergetbusted.com/2010/
- UnknownLegend
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
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Last edited by UnknownLegend on Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- chickenona
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
Fuck yeah, my fellow recovering pill addict.
I was bumpin' and grindin' to "Cold Hearted" just the other day.
I was bumpin' and grindin' to "Cold Hearted" just the other day.
vaya con DIOdeathcurse wrote:The secret board you had with Itjogs. You talked about me obsessively on there. There were witnesses.
http://nevergetbusted.com/2010/
- chickenona
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
I took this down and went back to my word document to try and make it better. You guys are forcing me to step up my game here. Like I said before, this is vanilla sex scene that I wrote to be part of a story. I always use the first and second person when I'm first fleshing out a porno piece because it gives me a feeling of intimacy and immediacy that is necessary, IMO, to writing decent smut. Usually I use the present tense too. This is a really good practice I think in writing this sort of thing because it puts you in "the head". I think I may have been dressing this up for use in a story at one point because it's already been changed to the past tense. But you get the idea.
You sprang for dinner. We didn't say anything about the way we'd joked around last time, about the old contract that's supposed to happen when the guy pays for the date, but I was thinking about it, just like I was thinking about how it seemed like the ride home was all green lights.
You parked at your house but we walked to mine, you took my hand somewhere around the halfway mark of that two-mile stroll. A subtle power play started taking place. I would want to break away because I walked faster than you but you would feel my grip loosening and tighten yours. Then I would fall in step with you and you would relax, but when I'd try to pull ahead again you'd hold on tighter again. I liked the tighter grip.
When we finally got to my house we sat on my porch and watched the neighborhood kids playing. You lit a joint and we smoked it, the world's edges blurring and finally receding, until we were in a bubble, the kids' yelling a fading ambient noise. We kissed and you tasted like a highball, you'd been knocking them back at dinner. I've never liked booze but I've always liked the taste of boozy kisses. Especially when they're as eager as yours were that night. It happens between people that when they've been together a while, the kisses stop happening, and we're there now, so when I remember that night, those kisses always take my breath away. The first one was tentative and soft, warm alcohol breath in my mouth, the fleshy insides of your lips against mine, our tongues just barely touching. Then they were harder and I was climbing on top of you, straddling you on the bench beside me and we were moving together, your hips surging upward as I began grinding on you, licking your lips and sucking on the tip of your tongue.
You rubbed my tits through my blouse, fingers seeking my nipples as they hardened, then your mouth trailed kisses down my neck and into the top of my cleavage. I grabbed you by the hair and pulled your head downward, both of us fumbling with the buttons on my blouse until I was undone, pulling the cups of my bra down to expose my breasts. Your hands trailed down my back and rested on the waistband of my jeans, fingers dipping down to cup my ass. We continued our slow grind as you took one breast in your mouth and the other in your hand. Your lips closed around my left nipple and I gasped. Your mouth was hot on my flesh as you licked and sucked at my nipple. You pushed my tits up and pressed your face between them, moaning a little. I could feel your cock stiffening against my crotch as I rode you and rubbed my pussy against your hardness. I was growing slick and became aware that I had lost my shirt entirely now. You put your hands under my ass and bounced me up and down against you and I became aware that I was already aroused enough that I could probably come just from this, a slow dry-humping makeout session with my shirt off and my breasts exposed.
I stopped and pulled away. "Want to come to bed?" I whispered.
You had apparently lost the power of speech for the moment, you just nodded yes and I got up, taking you by the hand. I didn't have to hold on too hard, you were right behind me. Once we were in my bedroom we faced each other and undressed. I drew it out even though I already had my shirt off, and you stared at me while I finished undressing. Both naked, we stepped towards each other in the fading twilight like boxers getting ready to touch gloves in the ring. Outside the kids were still yelling and the birds were still singing but night was falling fast. Some diehard in the neighborhood was mowing his lawn, trying to get it fucking done before the dew fell so he could enjoy lazing around on his day off without listening to his wife bitch about the grass the next day. We remembered the ridiculous porn we'd watched in the booths earlier, two chicks descending on a third with strapons in a highly implausible outdoor setting while a lawnmower whirred in the background, and our first naked embrace ended in laughter.
Your cock was fat and stiff and poked into the soft flesh of my belly as we kissed again, now urgent and animal, tongues twining, lips violently coupling. I grabbed it and stroked it while you ran your hands over my back, gripping my ass and pulling me toward you. I pushed it down to press it against the lips of my pussy, grinding against you again, teasing you with the wetness that was beginning to seep out along my slit. Both of us moaned as my clit touched against the base of your cock, our hips locking in a rhythm. You pushed me onto the bed and grabbed my breasts, climbing onto me to straddle me and push your cock between them. I laid there watching you and brought my hand down to play with myself. You got into it for a while, thrusting your hips back and forth as you squeezed the hot flesh of my tits around your cock, head thrown back, eyes closed.
Then you were against my neck, my face, brushing my cheekbone with your prick. I opened my mouth and enveloped you, hot and salty in my mouth. I flicked my tongue along the underside of the head, closing my lips around you, taking you to the back of my throat as far as I could. You pushed some more, gagging me, until my mouth welled and made wet sounds while I sucked you. I've always liked sucking cock, being in the submissive position while a man takes his pleasure with me, and I began to play with myself for real while I let you fuck my mouth. With my unoccupied hand I grabbed your balls, stroking them from the back forward, pushing them up to catch the overflow from my mouth, then pulling off your cock to lick them until you were drenched, your cock and balls wet and glinting in the dim light.
You stopped and climbed off me, kissing my slippery mouth again, moving down to nuzzle my neck and my breasts, cupping my hand, with which I was still eagerly rubbing my clit, with your own as you moved your mouth down the front of my body. You picked my hand off my crotch and pressed your face into my lower belly, kissing my mound, then flicking your tongue out to touch my clit. I gasped and moaned and caught your eyes as you moved lower again, going down on me. "Please," I whispered.
You parted my thighs and rubbed the tender skin on the insides. Then your shoulders were underneath my ass and I was turned up in the air, wide open and exposed. Your mouth locked onto my clit and your fingers - two or three - went inside me, hooking against the edge of my opening. Your tongue on my clit sent a bolt of electricity through me and I opened my thighs wider to let your fingers fill me, stretching me almost past my comfort level. I moved against you and rolled my hips. You pushed the tip of your thumb against my ass and I gasped and pushed down, wordlessly begging. Your thumb penetrated my ass, pushing in as you pressed down on my pelvis with your face. Full in both openings now, I rocked my hips against your face and came in a few rolling thrusts, grunting like an animal as those waves of heat and bliss rolled over me, pinning me to the bed with their force.
Before I was even through spasming your cock was inside me, sliding into my open body easily. You groaned deep as my pussy squeezed you in the last contractions of my orgasm. I wrapped my legs around you and pushed against you as you filled me. You rolled your hips in a lazy grind, holding back a little, dragging it out. My juices, which had now drenched me from my mound to the insides of my thighs and between my buttocks, coated your balls as they slapped against me. I could feel another orgasm building momentum as my clit ground against the base of your cock. I ran my fingers along the crack of your ass and pushed my middle finger into your asshole just as I started to come, pushing you over the edge, looking into your eyes and seeing that fleeting moment of shock as I penetrated you. Caught off balance and already close to the edge, you came, moaning in a sound that was almost like pain.
Someone was kind enough to compliment me on this piece via PM last night. Upon receiving this feedback I looked at the piece again and realized what a flagrant comma-abuser I am when writing porn. And for some reason it's ONLY porn where I do this. I have no idea why. I think it has something to do with an easier flow when writing something this intense.
You sprang for dinner. We didn't say anything about the way we'd joked around last time, about the old contract that's supposed to happen when the guy pays for the date, but I was thinking about it, just like I was thinking about how it seemed like the ride home was all green lights.
You parked at your house but we walked to mine, you took my hand somewhere around the halfway mark of that two-mile stroll. A subtle power play started taking place. I would want to break away because I walked faster than you but you would feel my grip loosening and tighten yours. Then I would fall in step with you and you would relax, but when I'd try to pull ahead again you'd hold on tighter again. I liked the tighter grip.
When we finally got to my house we sat on my porch and watched the neighborhood kids playing. You lit a joint and we smoked it, the world's edges blurring and finally receding, until we were in a bubble, the kids' yelling a fading ambient noise. We kissed and you tasted like a highball, you'd been knocking them back at dinner. I've never liked booze but I've always liked the taste of boozy kisses. Especially when they're as eager as yours were that night. It happens between people that when they've been together a while, the kisses stop happening, and we're there now, so when I remember that night, those kisses always take my breath away. The first one was tentative and soft, warm alcohol breath in my mouth, the fleshy insides of your lips against mine, our tongues just barely touching. Then they were harder and I was climbing on top of you, straddling you on the bench beside me and we were moving together, your hips surging upward as I began grinding on you, licking your lips and sucking on the tip of your tongue.
You rubbed my tits through my blouse, fingers seeking my nipples as they hardened, then your mouth trailed kisses down my neck and into the top of my cleavage. I grabbed you by the hair and pulled your head downward, both of us fumbling with the buttons on my blouse until I was undone, pulling the cups of my bra down to expose my breasts. Your hands trailed down my back and rested on the waistband of my jeans, fingers dipping down to cup my ass. We continued our slow grind as you took one breast in your mouth and the other in your hand. Your lips closed around my left nipple and I gasped. Your mouth was hot on my flesh as you licked and sucked at my nipple. You pushed my tits up and pressed your face between them, moaning a little. I could feel your cock stiffening against my crotch as I rode you and rubbed my pussy against your hardness. I was growing slick and became aware that I had lost my shirt entirely now. You put your hands under my ass and bounced me up and down against you and I became aware that I was already aroused enough that I could probably come just from this, a slow dry-humping makeout session with my shirt off and my breasts exposed.
I stopped and pulled away. "Want to come to bed?" I whispered.
You had apparently lost the power of speech for the moment, you just nodded yes and I got up, taking you by the hand. I didn't have to hold on too hard, you were right behind me. Once we were in my bedroom we faced each other and undressed. I drew it out even though I already had my shirt off, and you stared at me while I finished undressing. Both naked, we stepped towards each other in the fading twilight like boxers getting ready to touch gloves in the ring. Outside the kids were still yelling and the birds were still singing but night was falling fast. Some diehard in the neighborhood was mowing his lawn, trying to get it fucking done before the dew fell so he could enjoy lazing around on his day off without listening to his wife bitch about the grass the next day. We remembered the ridiculous porn we'd watched in the booths earlier, two chicks descending on a third with strapons in a highly implausible outdoor setting while a lawnmower whirred in the background, and our first naked embrace ended in laughter.
Your cock was fat and stiff and poked into the soft flesh of my belly as we kissed again, now urgent and animal, tongues twining, lips violently coupling. I grabbed it and stroked it while you ran your hands over my back, gripping my ass and pulling me toward you. I pushed it down to press it against the lips of my pussy, grinding against you again, teasing you with the wetness that was beginning to seep out along my slit. Both of us moaned as my clit touched against the base of your cock, our hips locking in a rhythm. You pushed me onto the bed and grabbed my breasts, climbing onto me to straddle me and push your cock between them. I laid there watching you and brought my hand down to play with myself. You got into it for a while, thrusting your hips back and forth as you squeezed the hot flesh of my tits around your cock, head thrown back, eyes closed.
Then you were against my neck, my face, brushing my cheekbone with your prick. I opened my mouth and enveloped you, hot and salty in my mouth. I flicked my tongue along the underside of the head, closing my lips around you, taking you to the back of my throat as far as I could. You pushed some more, gagging me, until my mouth welled and made wet sounds while I sucked you. I've always liked sucking cock, being in the submissive position while a man takes his pleasure with me, and I began to play with myself for real while I let you fuck my mouth. With my unoccupied hand I grabbed your balls, stroking them from the back forward, pushing them up to catch the overflow from my mouth, then pulling off your cock to lick them until you were drenched, your cock and balls wet and glinting in the dim light.
You stopped and climbed off me, kissing my slippery mouth again, moving down to nuzzle my neck and my breasts, cupping my hand, with which I was still eagerly rubbing my clit, with your own as you moved your mouth down the front of my body. You picked my hand off my crotch and pressed your face into my lower belly, kissing my mound, then flicking your tongue out to touch my clit. I gasped and moaned and caught your eyes as you moved lower again, going down on me. "Please," I whispered.
You parted my thighs and rubbed the tender skin on the insides. Then your shoulders were underneath my ass and I was turned up in the air, wide open and exposed. Your mouth locked onto my clit and your fingers - two or three - went inside me, hooking against the edge of my opening. Your tongue on my clit sent a bolt of electricity through me and I opened my thighs wider to let your fingers fill me, stretching me almost past my comfort level. I moved against you and rolled my hips. You pushed the tip of your thumb against my ass and I gasped and pushed down, wordlessly begging. Your thumb penetrated my ass, pushing in as you pressed down on my pelvis with your face. Full in both openings now, I rocked my hips against your face and came in a few rolling thrusts, grunting like an animal as those waves of heat and bliss rolled over me, pinning me to the bed with their force.
Before I was even through spasming your cock was inside me, sliding into my open body easily. You groaned deep as my pussy squeezed you in the last contractions of my orgasm. I wrapped my legs around you and pushed against you as you filled me. You rolled your hips in a lazy grind, holding back a little, dragging it out. My juices, which had now drenched me from my mound to the insides of my thighs and between my buttocks, coated your balls as they slapped against me. I could feel another orgasm building momentum as my clit ground against the base of your cock. I ran my fingers along the crack of your ass and pushed my middle finger into your asshole just as I started to come, pushing you over the edge, looking into your eyes and seeing that fleeting moment of shock as I penetrated you. Caught off balance and already close to the edge, you came, moaning in a sound that was almost like pain.
Someone was kind enough to compliment me on this piece via PM last night. Upon receiving this feedback I looked at the piece again and realized what a flagrant comma-abuser I am when writing porn. And for some reason it's ONLY porn where I do this. I have no idea why. I think it has something to do with an easier flow when writing something this intense.
Last edited by chickenona on Sun May 10, 2009 1:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.
vaya con DIOdeathcurse wrote:The secret board you had with Itjogs. You talked about me obsessively on there. There were witnesses.
http://nevergetbusted.com/2010/
- UnknownLegend
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest
.
Last edited by UnknownLegend on Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.