Metal Sludge Gossip Board

did you have sex with a cactus?

Stop being cheap. Shell out the cash for a new dildo and quit using the one you bought in the 1970's.

Bruce Chickenson wrote:It fuckin hurt, entered without sufficient moisture and a bit too eagerly, hurt a bit but not enough to stop, then when i took it out i saw that all around where the foreskin attaches to the dick was cut...

Aint no fun, now ive got to wait for ages to boink

Anyone else endured similar hard times?

American dudes typically thwart this from becoming an issue shortly after birth.

i have heard stories of women putting razor blades in their pussies with the sharp part sticking in to get even with their hubby.....

tweet75 wrote:i have heard stories of women putting razor blades in their pussies with the sharp part sticking in to get even with their hubby.....

ouch

Bruce Chickenson wrote:

tweet75 wrote:i have heard stories of women putting razor blades in their pussies with the sharp part sticking in to get even with their hubby.....

for a second that's how it felt, it's healing now, hopefully it will be sex ready by the weekend.

I didn't snap the banjo string thankgod, just cut around the rim

No it will open and bleed again.
Trust me.

cookie wrote:You done snapped your banjo string. Good luck pissing.

I hadn't heard it called that before LMAO

cookie wrote:

Bruce Chickenson wrote:

tweet75 wrote:i have heard stories of women putting razor blades in their pussies with the sharp part sticking in to get even with their hubby.....

for a second that's how it felt, it's healing now, hopefully it will be sex ready by the weekend.

I didn't snap the banjo string thankgod, just cut around the rim

No it will open and bleed again.
Trust me.

damn woman stop saying this shit! I'm enough of a squeamish wimp as it is!

HAILS EAGER-TO-FUCK BEAVERS
IT IS I, ERIC ADAMS – VAGINAL IMPALER SUPREME
LISTEN UP, CHICKENSON
IT'S NEVER A GOOD IDEA TO THRUST YOUR PORK SWORD INTO A SAHARA SNATCH
OR TO PARAPHRASE BRAD HAMILTON IN FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH – 'I SHALL SINK NO PIE BEFORE ITS TIME'
AND I'LL ADD
YOU MIGHT ASK YOURSELF – 'WHY IS THIS WENCH’S SELF-LUBRICATING SILK PURSE NOT FLOWING LIKE THE GANGES AT MY MERE TOUCH?'
INCIDENTALLY
BY THE TIME MY BULBOUS MUSHROOM CAP TOUCHES THE OUTER WALLS OF A MAIDEN'S HIDDEN FORTRESS SHE IS SQUIRMING MORE THAN A BARREL OF EARTHWORMS
FURTHERMORE
THE FEELING I GET ONCE MY GIRTHZILLA IS FULLY PLUNGED INSIDE A DAMSEL'S MEAT THEATER IS AKIN TO RIDING A KAYAK DOWN THE COLORADO RIVER
IN CONCLUSION
A WELL-OILED COCK HOLSTER IS A MUST
BOTH PARTNER'S PLEASURE LEVEL WILL NOT ONLY BE SIGNIFICANTLY ENHANCED, BUT WHEN YOUR LOVE CUSTARD IS READY TO BUST THROUGH YOUR JAPS EYE LIKE A GENERAL ADMISSION CROWD AT MANOWAR GIG, HER MOUTH WILL BE AGAPE AND BEGGING FOR YOUR NUTRITIOUS NUT BROTH

I <3 ERIC.

ERIC ADAMS wrote:HAILS EAGER-TO-FUCK BEAVERS
IT IS I, ERIC ADAMS – VAGINAL IMPALER SUPREME
LISTEN UP, CHICKENSON
IT'S NEVER A GOOD IDEA TO THRUST YOUR PORK SWORD INTO A SAHARA SNATCH
OR TO PARAPHRASE BRAD HAMILTON IN FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH – 'I SHALL SINK NO PIE BEFORE ITS TIME'
AND I'LL ADD
YOU MIGHT ASK YOURSELF – 'WHY IS THIS WENCH’S SELF-LUBRICATING SILK PURSE NOT FLOWING LIKE THE GANGES AT MY MERE TOUCH?'
INCIDENTALLY
BY THE TIME MY BULBOUS MUSHROOM CAP TOUCHES THE OUTER WALLS OF A MAIDEN'S HIDDEN FORTRESS SHE IS SQUIRMING MORE THAN A BARREL OF EARTHWORMS
FURTHERMORE
THE FEELING I GET ONCE MY GIRTHZILLA IS FULLY PLUNGED INSIDE A DAMSEL'S MEAT THEATER IS AKIN TO RIDING A KAYAK DOWN THE COLORADO RIVER
IN CONCLUSION
A WELL-OILED COCK HOLSTER IS A MUST
BOTH PARTNER'S PLEASURE LEVEL WILL NOT ONLY BE SIGNIFICANTLY ENHANCED, BUT WHEN YOUR LOVE CUSTARD IS READY TO BUST THROUGH YOUR JAPS EYE LIKE A GENERAL ADMISSION CROWD AT MANOWAR GIG, HER MOUTH WILL BE AGAPE AND BEGGING FOR YOUR NUTRITIOUS NUT BROTH

I swooned just reading that.

Bruce Chickenson wrote:
DeAr ErICCTHTRREUHSD

thankgod she flows like the angel falls or i could have done more damage.

BERTHOFMETKINSON

That wasn't her fanny batter. That was YOUR BLOOD!!!!

Aye, a cunt that hasn't been properly moistened can cause lots of pain, especially to an uncut cock. In fact, I don't know how any man with an uncircumcised cock could rape anyone.

MickeyG wrote:Aye, a cunt that hasn't been properly moistened can cause lots of pain, especially to an uncut cock. In fact, I don't know how any man with an uncircumcised cock could rape anyone.

Fear makes you wet. Maybe it s a safety design. Believe me, it hurts girls too if you go plunging in with no gunge.

wow... sucks dude....did you have calluses on your hand or something?

Try sticking to your own species, Slicer lite.

You're welcome.

one word came to mind when i read the thread title:

good

jahlive 420 wrote:one word came to mind when i read the thread title:

good

die foreskin hata

Wearing a rubber eliminates the threat of this happening. Though...if you put the rubber on and your foreskin is pulled back a bit, sex can be kinda uncomfortable. Fuck. I need to get circumsized. Is 20 too old to get that done?