Metal Sludge Gossip Board

If you received a card from a guy you had intense feelings for in the past (but were married ) would you secretly keep it or throw it in the garbage fearing your husband would find it ?

If I loved my husband I would toss it.

The caveat is the following:

why would that person even think of keeping a card from a dusty old flame if they were truly in love with their husband/current boyfriend?

The desire to keep it signals confusion, be it short-lived.

Not being judgemental...just blunt.

Trash it...because if your husband finds it, you're gonna have some 'splainin to do.

amouthfulofsin220 wrote:The caveat is the following:

why would that person even think of keeping a card from a dusty old flame if they were truly in love with their husband/current boyfriend?

The desire to keep it signals confusion, be it short-lived.

Not being judgemental...just blunt.

Good point. I think it's a ego thing. A lot of people take comfort in knowing that there's someone out there who still desires them, even when they're officially taken.

And toss the card. How would you react if your husband got a card from a long, lost love, hmmmmmm?

amouthfulofsin220 wrote:The caveat is the following:

why would that person even think of keeping a card from a dusty old flame if they were truly in love with their husband/current boyfriend?

The desire to keep it signals confusion, be it short-lived.

Not being judgemental...just blunt.

Grow up.

saracapri wrote:

amouthfulofsin220 wrote:The caveat is the following:

why would that person even think of keeping a card from a dusty old flame if they were truly in love with their husband/current boyfriend?

The desire to keep it signals confusion, be it short-lived.

Not being judgemental...just blunt.

Grow up.

Are you serious?

You first.

I am serious. I think your take on relationships, marriage and the way couples value each other to be limited and immature. It's like something I would have said when I was 14. Holding on to an old love letter or a card doesn't mean you don't love your husband or wife. Why would it?

cathousebabe wrote:

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:I have every love letter ever written to me in my cedar chest.

I think that is so romantic.

Love letters are my favorite things in the world. I love sweet nothings and all the trappings of romance, but there's something about seeing it in writing that makes me want to hold on to it forever, and go back to it from time to time. Like a picture, but better.

<3 handwriting.

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:

cathousebabe wrote:

CrouchingStonerHiddenBong wrote:I have every love letter ever written to me in my cedar chest.

I think that is so romantic.

Love letters are my favorite things in the world. I love sweet nothings and all the trappings of romance, but there's something about seeing it in writing that makes me want to hold on to it forever, and go back to it from time to time. Like a picture, but better.

<3 handwriting.

I undertand the value of a well written "billet doux"...I used to buy ridiculously expensive linen paper to write my loveletters on (frankly, it was too good for the people I wasted them on, but I digress)

saracapri wrote:I am serious. I think your take on relationships, marriage and the way couples value each other to be limited and immature. It's like something I would have said when I was 14. Holding on to an old love letter or a card doesn't mean you don't love your husband or wife. Why would it?

I find what you just said rather funny - so you've gleaned all that from a post or two? If you only knew...

Let me be crystal clear:

Personally, if the person that I'm with is fully focused on me, I wouldn't care if I found out they had kept some personal items or letters from a former love...but I'm not insecure like that.

On the other hand, not everyone is me, and I can't speak for the other person's unflailing security in themselves and our relationship. *sigh*

If they were hurt or peevish when they found out I'd kept some love letters (which I have as well, Sarah) and our relationship was really important to me, would I get rid of the letters/things? Yes, I would.

I was speaking in generalities, just making an observation - but all sort of individuals make a world, right? I've not met a couple personally yet who's completely okay with keepsakes like that - especially if it's the man doing the keeping - but the 'Net does open up your world, doesn't it?


P.S. - Well, I wouldn't so much get rid of it as I would just give to one of my sisters to keep for me.

You know, just in case.