who here had Dysfunctional parents/grandparents growing up?

[keyofgee]

I am not here to bash anyone or bash parents/grandparents or whomever reared you. Just seeing how everyone made it thru. Most of you have read what I went through. I got through it and on the other side of it. I will add my stuff in a few...but what was it like for you? how did you cope?

[VinnieVincentsVag]

Probably everyone to some level.

[Hatchets Molly]

Normal with one exception. Bad car accident in 1975. Hit head on by a drunk driver who walked away but my Mom and Dad were nearly killed. No seat belts worn back then. They both made it through but Dad had a rough time with pain meds and depression after his release from the hospital. Lots of yelling and car key arguments for about six months. I was only 9, so I don't remember much except being sent over to my friend's house when shit hit the fan. He pulled out of it and got things back together, went back to college at 35 and carried on life from that point until his passing in 2022. Otherwise, we lived a nice lower-middle-class life. I never realized how "poor" we were until I saw college loan stuff about 10 years ago. I never seemed to have a lot but I also didn't ask for much.

[ParaDime77]

I was never around my dad’s folks when l was a kid other than Christmas. It was revealed years later my grandpa was an abusive philandering asshole. My dad hated him severely.

[LAglamrocker]

0% everyone on both sides have been nothing but 100% perfect- nobody is jealous of anyone. Some have big houses badass cars- some normal life- some live like rockstar counting down days for Wrestlemania day with only thing that matters is back pack beach chair
I do think about maybe what i am living is Heaven -
My life must have been good- now just rewarded forever

[risingfarce]

I had dysfunctional parents. I couldn't stand my father's parents and others on his side of the family.

[Love_Industry]

Dysfunctional stepfather, totally unpredictable and unstable, could be triggered by anything. Later diagnosed as high functioning autistic, and my guess is also undiagnosed bipolar and/or PTSD from growing up with horrible parents.

[TravisBicklesMohawk]

My dad was an alcoholic. Does that count?

And my mom rarely gave me a compliment or kind word the entire time she was on Earth.

They both passed away ages ago, and I still find it hard to think of anything nice to say about them.

[keyofgee]

a brief run down of my life..lol. Dr. Phil would retire after this.
1. father was murdered when I was 17 months old. My uncle went on a shooting spree and killed him, his land lord and had a shoot out with the police. He got 13 years for it. got out. killed again. went back in and got out. Died last year a free man..
2. My Dad's mom swooped in and took us via temp. court order from my mom. My mom was "young" around 20 years old. My Mother's brother was the killer.
3. We (my brother and me) weren't allowed to see our mother. We were told she would try to kidnap us if she saw us. My mother's life spiraled out of control when she lost her husband and kids. a life of husband after husband, bars and alcohol. extreme Poverty, etc.
4. my brother and I couldn't cross any roads or streets until we were around 14. we lived in fear but as we got older we started figuring things out. what we were told wasn't the truth.
5. My grandmother (my dad's mom) made us call her "Mom". my mother's side of the family was never mentioned or brought up. I didn't know I had family on her side.
6. my grandmother blamed my grandpa for my dad's death. he tried to get him out of the house during the shooting but came back out. so, according to her, it was his fault he died.
they remained married until they were elderly before divorcing but they slept in separate bedrooms. he worked second shift, she worked first.
7.my grandmother paraded my brother and me around, "I am raising my son's kids, he was murdered you know". Her public life was perfect. drove new cars from our SS money. at home she was probably bi polar. She would snap in an instant, make us watch her pack a suitcase, tell us she is going to jump in the river down the street, lock us in closets, and leave for hours. this happened all the time. we would cry and beg her not to leave or jump in the river. we were small grade school kids. this went on until we were old enough to break out of the closets. Then we were locked in metal chifforobes.
if we wanted to go play basketball or ride bikes, she would say "let me think about it". we would end up asking again and again, then she would wait until it was almost dark and say "i said no!".
we had an older cousin that kept running away from home. He was my grandmother's favorite nephew. He was about 5 or 6 years older than me. he would spend the night at our house. my grandmother would say. "go on in there and get in bed with him". man, i was a kid about 8 years old living in fear so I would. do the math, he didn't have camping on his mind..this happened over and over..
we thought all this was normal growing up...
i just scratched the surface here folks..

[eddie lee roth]

I grew up the white adopted son of black sharecroppers in Mississippi, I grew to adulthood unaware of these circumstances.

Not being able to dance in rhythm to the spirited folk songs played by the family bugged me the most. But one night shuffling through the radio I found I could do so perfectly to a champagne-style song on the radio.

Never could figure out how that could be at first. I’m talking total mind fuck when I put two and two together.

[TravisBicklesMohawk]

I grew up the white adopted son of black sharecroppers in Mississippi, I grew to adulthood unaware of these circumstances.

Not being able to dance in rhythm to the spirited folk songs played by the family bugged me the most. But one night shuffling through the radio I found I could do so perfectly to a champagne-style song on the radio.

Never could figure out how that could be at first. I’m talking total mind fuck when I put two and two together.

https://youtu.be/pd5ViH_5598?si=ZBMBHVzsmhr139u8

[Bono Nettencourt]

We were a Dysfunctional family, but after therapy we were able to Erase the Slate.

[Danzig in the Dark]

We were a Dysfunctional family, but after therapy we were able to Erase the Slate.

You just got lucky.

[Cindy Buzzedimisa]

My grandmother on my mom's side openly hated kids. Loved babies, but not kids. I hated it when she visited. She was so fucking mean and no one would say anything to her. All the women on my mom's side constantly complained how motherhood sucked. I was listening and started saying I don't want children by the time I was 12. Stuck to it too. My mom was heartbroken, still is, but what did she expect? They didn't exactly sell the concept of motherhood to me. My grandmother seemed to approve however.

Also had a cousin my age who hated my ass. She battled cancer her whole life so they let her get away with everything including treating me like shit. She was morbidly obese and I was cute and skinny and she was having none of it. And if I yelled back at her I'd get punished. I hate it when parents let their kids be little assholes because they're sick or disabled. I don't think any of these things count as "dysfunctional" but it did affect me negatively.

[Metal Sludge]

I'm so far removed from my family, is doesn't really matter if they were dysfunctional or not. They were for sure, but it's not something that affected me, past leaving home at 18.
Keeping my distance was helpful, I didn't see my parent's/step-parents a lot after I was an adult.
They have all passed now, the last to go was my step dad in 2017.
As an adult, I appreciated them more, but the chaos when we were kids was intolerable.

[GoodJudge]

Probably everyone to some level.

Not here. Perfectly normal nuclear family, except my dad worked away a lot so for best part of a decade there'd be periods when we just saw him at weekends. On the other hand, my wife's family history...

[cinman1802000]

My mom and her two siblings were separated & adopted after my biological grandma committed suicide by drinking Liquid Plumber in front of them.

[bigmakoshark]

a brief run down of my life..lol. Dr. Phil would retire after this.
1. father was murdered when I was 17 months old. My uncle went on a shooting spree and killed him, his land lord and had a shoot out with the police. He got 13 years for it. got out. killed again. went back in and got out. Died last year a free man..
2. My Dad's mom swooped in and took us via temp. court order from my mom. My mom was "young" around 20 years old. My Mother's brother was the killer.
3. We (my brother and me) weren't allowed to see our mother. We were told she would try to kidnap us if she saw us. My mother's life spiraled out of control when she lost her husband and kids. a life of husband after husband, bars and alcohol. extreme Poverty, etc.
4. my brother and I couldn't cross any roads or streets until we were around 14. we lived in fear but as we got older we started figuring things out. what we were told wasn't the truth.
5. My grandmother (my dad's mom) made us call her "Mom". my mother's side of the family was never mentioned or brought up. I didn't know I had family on her side.
6. my grandmother blamed my grandpa for my dad's death. he tried to get him out of the house during the shooting but came back out. so, according to her, it was his fault he died.
they remained married until they were elderly before divorcing but they slept in separate bedrooms. he worked second shift, she worked first.
7.my grandmother paraded my brother and me around, "I am raising my son's kids, he was murdered you know". Her public life was perfect. drove new cars from our SS money. at home she was probably bi polar. She would snap in an instant, make us watch her pack a suitcase, tell us she is going to jump in the river down the street, lock us in closets, and leave for hours. this happened all the time. we would cry and beg her not to leave or jump in the river. we were small grade school kids. this went on until we were old enough to break out of the closets. Then we were locked in metal chifforobes.
if we wanted to go play basketball or ride bikes, she would say "let me think about it". we would end up asking again and again, then she would wait until it was almost dark and say "i said no!".
we had an older cousin that kept running away from home. He was my grandmother's favorite nephew. He was about 5 or 6 years older than me. he would spend the night at our house. my grandmother would say. "go on in there and get in bed with him". man, i was a kid about 8 years old living in fear so I would. do the math, he didn't have camping on his mind..this happened over and over..
we thought all this was normal growing up...
i just scratched the surface here folks..

I see decades of therapy in your future.

[eddie lee roth]

a brief run down of my life..lol. Dr. Phil would retire after this.
1. father was murdered when I was 17 months old. My uncle went on a shooting spree and killed him, his land lord and had a shoot out with the police. He got 13 years for it. got out. killed again. went back in and got out. Died last year a free man..
2. My Dad's mom swooped in and took us via temp. court order from my mom. My mom was "young" around 20 years old. My Mother's brother was the killer.
3. We (my brother and me) weren't allowed to see our mother. We were told she would try to kidnap us if she saw us. My mother's life spiraled out of control when she lost her husband and kids. a life of husband after husband, bars and alcohol. extreme Poverty, etc.
4. my brother and I couldn't cross any roads or streets until we were around 14. we lived in fear but as we got older we started figuring things out. what we were told wasn't the truth.
5. My grandmother (my dad's mom) made us call her "Mom". my mother's side of the family was never mentioned or brought up. I didn't know I had family on her side.
6. my grandmother blamed my grandpa for my dad's death. he tried to get him out of the house during the shooting but came back out. so, according to her, it was his fault he died.
they remained married until they were elderly before divorcing but they slept in separate bedrooms. he worked second shift, she worked first.
7.my grandmother paraded my brother and me around, "I am raising my son's kids, he was murdered you know". Her public life was perfect. drove new cars from our SS money. at home she was probably bi polar. She would snap in an instant, make us watch her pack a suitcase, tell us she is going to jump in the river down the street, lock us in closets, and leave for hours. this happened all the time. we would cry and beg her not to leave or jump in the river. we were small grade school kids. this went on until we were old enough to break out of the closets. Then we were locked in metal chifforobes.
if we wanted to go play basketball or ride bikes, she would say "let me think about it". we would end up asking again and again, then she would wait until it was almost dark and say "i said no!".
we had an older cousin that kept running away from home. He was my grandmother's favorite nephew. He was about 5 or 6 years older than me. he would spend the night at our house. my grandmother would say. "go on in there and get in bed with him". man, i was a kid about 8 years old living in fear so I would. do the math, he didn't have camping on his mind..this happened over and over..
we thought all this was normal growing up...
i just scratched the surface here folks..

I see decades of therapy in your future.

Actually he’s no kidding in a pretty good place in life and bless him for that.

Don’t hold me to it but I believe it started when he could get out of those metal chifforobes.

All he needed was to see the light.

[keyofgee]

a brief run down of my life..lol. Dr. Phil would retire after this.
1. father was murdered when I was 17 months old. My uncle went on a shooting spree and killed him, his land lord and had a shoot out with the police. He got 13 years for it. got out. killed again. went back in and got out. Died last year a free man..
2. My Dad's mom swooped in and took us via temp. court order from my mom. My mom was "young" around 20 years old. My Mother's brother was the killer.
3. We (my brother and me) weren't allowed to see our mother. We were told she would try to kidnap us if she saw us. My mother's life spiraled out of control when she lost her husband and kids. a life of husband after husband, bars and alcohol. extreme Poverty, etc.
4. my brother and I couldn't cross any roads or streets until we were around 14. we lived in fear but as we got older we started figuring things out. what we were told wasn't the truth.
5. My grandmother (my dad's mom) made us call her "Mom". my mother's side of the family was never mentioned or brought up. I didn't know I had family on her side.
6. my grandmother blamed my grandpa for my dad's death. he tried to get him out of the house during the shooting but came back out. so, according to her, it was his fault he died.
they remained married until they were elderly before divorcing but they slept in separate bedrooms. he worked second shift, she worked first.
7.my grandmother paraded my brother and me around, "I am raising my son's kids, he was murdered you know". Her public life was perfect. drove new cars from our SS money. at home she was probably bi polar. She would snap in an instant, make us watch her pack a suitcase, tell us she is going to jump in the river down the street, lock us in closets, and leave for hours. this happened all the time. we would cry and beg her not to leave or jump in the river. we were small grade school kids. this went on until we were old enough to break out of the closets. Then we were locked in metal chifforobes.
if we wanted to go play basketball or ride bikes, she would say "let me think about it". we would end up asking again and again, then she would wait until it was almost dark and say "i said no!".
we had an older cousin that kept running away from home. He was my grandmother's favorite nephew. He was about 5 or 6 years older than me. he would spend the night at our house. my grandmother would say. "go on in there and get in bed with him". man, i was a kid about 8 years old living in fear so I would. do the math, he didn't have camping on his mind..this happened over and over..
we thought all this was normal growing up...
i just scratched the surface here folks..

I see decades of therapy in your future.

Actually he’s no kidding in a pretty good place in life and bless him for that.

Don’t hold me to it but I believe it started when he could get out of those metal chifforobes.

All he needed was to see the light.

lol that's a good one. you know what it taught me? drowning is not an option. You get lemons? you make lemonade. it happened. I don't carry it...I was a victim but I am not a victim anymore. I am a victor. I wont allow it to "own me" or control me. i will say I had to attend a funeral a few years ago with my cousin..I had not seen him since I was grown and we live in the same town. When I saw him I had such an anger and rage come up on me that I almost couldn't contain it...I also can't deal with dark small places. My wife was being funny one time and closed a basement door while I was coming up the stairs. She then turned the light out. All in fun. I almost tore the door off its hinges without even realizing it. I never had therapy. I don't need it. I am ok.

[eddie lee roth]

Good for you. I had to let go of some baggage too to move on with life and I’m better for it.

And I’d like to say you did the right thing by controlling your anger while at a funeral. Whatever it may be that ain’t the place for it.