Oldest person you've jacked of to?

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Luigi
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Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by Luigi »

The Salma Hayek thread got me thinking.

Who is the oldest person you have jacked of to? I am embarrassed to say it, but 56 year old Salma is not the oldest. :o
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by cowpins »

Gaz...you're in late 50's, right?
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by Bono Nettencourt »

Luigi wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 1:37 pm The Salma Hayek thread got me thinking.

Who is the oldest person you have jacked of to? I am embarrassed to say it, but 56 year old Salma is not the oldest. :o
I'm sure most of the objects of our pubescent desires are well past 60... but I'm gathering that you currently fap to the GILF set?
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by exitflagger »

Luigi wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 1:37 pm you've jacked of to?
Jack "of" once, shame on you

Jack "of" twice, shame on... you
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by DemonFilth2001 »

cowpins wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 2:22 pm Gaz...you're in late 50's, right?
Lol!

I’m 52. I jack myself off. Does that count?

Deauxma is close to 60. She’s still hot.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by VinnieVincentsVag »

cowpins wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 2:22 pm Gaz...you're in late 50's, right?
You know it.
Did u get my noodz?
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by VinnieVincentsVag »

Funny story…..
Hanging out with friends, playing the game that you put the phone to your forehead and people give you clues to what is on the phone.
“Betty White” comes up.
I say “hot older woman” and everyone lost their shit.
Apparently, I’m now an old lady fucker now.
I’ve always been in to older women. The problem is, the older I get the older the mature women get.
16 into 20-30
26 into 30-40
36 into 40-50
Now at 57, it’s 60-70.
🤣😂😩
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by HueyRamone »

VinnieVincentsVag wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 4:22 pm Funny story…..
Hanging out with friends, playing the game that you put the phone to your forehead and people give you clues to what is on the phone.
“Betty White” comes up.
I say “hot older woman” and everyone lost their shit.
Apparently, I’m now an old lady fucker now.
I’ve always been in to older women. The problem is, the older I get the older the mature women get.
16 into 20-30
26 into 30-40
36 into 40-50
Now at 57, it’s 60-70.
🤣😂😩
Seriously? You seek out 70 year olds to scope out??
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by GreatWhiteSnake »

59...
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by VinnieVincentsVag »

HueyRamone wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 4:37 pm
VinnieVincentsVag wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 4:22 pm Funny story…..
Hanging out with friends, playing the game that you put the phone to your forehead and people give you clues to what is on the phone.
“Betty White” comes up.
I say “hot older woman” and everyone lost their shit.
Apparently, I’m now an old lady fucker now.
I’ve always been in to older women. The problem is, the older I get the older the mature women get.
16 into 20-30
26 into 30-40
36 into 40-50
Now at 57, it’s 60-70.
🤣😂😩
Seriously? You seek out 70 year olds to scope out??
No.
I’m merely pointing out that certain fetishes don’t age well.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by Danzig in the Dark »

VinnieVincentsVag wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 5:07 pm
HueyRamone wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 4:37 pm
VinnieVincentsVag wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 4:22 pm Funny story…..
Hanging out with friends, playing the game that you put the phone to your forehead and people give you clues to what is on the phone.
“Betty White” comes up.
I say “hot older woman” and everyone lost their shit.
Apparently, I’m now an old lady fucker now.
I’ve always been in to older women. The problem is, the older I get the older the mature women get.
16 into 20-30
26 into 30-40
36 into 40-50
Now at 57, it’s 60-70.
🤣😂😩
Seriously? You seek out 70 year olds to scope out??
No.
I’m merely pointing out that certain fetishes don’t age well.
It's also difficult to explain a restraining order from a nursing home.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by VinnieVincentsVag »

Danzig in the Dark wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 5:22 pm
VinnieVincentsVag wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 5:07 pm
HueyRamone wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 4:37 pm

Seriously? You seek out 70 year olds to scope out??
No.
I’m merely pointing out that certain fetishes don’t age well.
It's also difficult to explain a restraining order from a nursing home.
😂
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by Grendel »

There was a picture of Helen Morten in a swimsuit that was Jack-worthy…
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by Chip Z'Hoy »

VinnieVincentsVag wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 4:22 pm Funny story…..
Hanging out with friends, playing the game that you put the phone to your forehead and people give you clues to what is on the phone.
“Betty White” comes up.
I say “hot older woman” and everyone lost their shit.
Apparently, I’m now an old lady fucker now.
I’ve always been in to older women. The problem is, the older I get the older the mature women get.
16 into 20-30
26 into 30-40
36 into 40-50
Now at 57, it’s 60-70.
🤣😂😩
You watch Succession? I want to fuck Geri from Succession.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by HueyRamone »

Chip Z'Hoy wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 7:48 pm
VinnieVincentsVag wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 4:22 pm Funny story…..
Hanging out with friends, playing the game that you put the phone to your forehead and people give you clues to what is on the phone.
“Betty White” comes up.
I say “hot older woman” and everyone lost their shit.
Apparently, I’m now an old lady fucker now.
I’ve always been in to older women. The problem is, the older I get the older the mature women get.
16 into 20-30
26 into 30-40
36 into 40-50
Now at 57, it’s 60-70.
🤣😂😩
You watch Succession? I want to fuck Geri from Succession.
You disgusting slime puppy. You're a sick little boy. Go ahead and do it then. Chop chop.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by DiamondDog »

Grendel wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 5:35 pm There was a picture of Helen Morten in a swimsuit that was Jack-worthy…
For anyone trying to top up their spank bank, try "Mirren" when you search.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by cowpins »

VinnieVincentsVag wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 4:22 pm
cowpins wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 2:22 pm Gaz...you're in late 50's, right?
You know it.
Did u get my noodz?
I did. Tell Mrs. Gaz to have that mole looked at and send some of you next time.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by Grendel »

DiamondDog wrote: Tue Jul 11, 2023 1:48 am
Grendel wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 5:35 pm There was a picture of Helen Morten in a swimsuit that was Jack-worthy…
For anyone trying to top up their spank bank, try "Mirren" when you search.
D’oh!
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by Grendel »

DiamondDog wrote: Tue Jul 11, 2023 1:48 am
Grendel wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 5:35 pm There was a picture of Helen Morten in a swimsuit that was Jack-worthy…
For anyone trying to top up their spank bank, try "Mirren" when you search.
D’oh!

Image
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by dmbrocker »

Just watch Murder, She Wrote reruns and jack off to Angela Lansbury. That's my go-to, anyway.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by TravisBicklesMohawk »

I'm female, so I don't jack anything, but damn, Kurt Russell is sweet and still gives me the feels.

Burt Reynolds too. Dude is smokin' hot at any age. And yes, I know he's dead. :)
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by keyofgee »

Jacking off might save u from
Prostate cancer.. so fire away.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by Newsted's FU Money »

Susanna Hoffs. 64 years of age and still jack-worthy.

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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by Love_Industry »

DiamondDog wrote: Tue Jul 11, 2023 1:48 am
Grendel wrote: Mon Jul 10, 2023 5:35 pm There was a picture of Helen Morten in a swimsuit that was Jack-worthy…
For anyone trying to top up their spank bank, try "Mirren" when you search.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by exitflagger »

Newsted's FU Money wrote: Wed Jul 12, 2023 8:23 pm Susanna Hoffs. 64 years of age and still jack-worthy.

Image
57. Yes, she has held up well but posting a 7 year old pic to show how youthful she currently looks is a little fake newsy.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by mullet_head »

The oldest?

Probably the girl from Stranger Things, Millie Bobby Brown.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by mullet_head »

Chilax, guys. I haven't done it since the first season.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by Chip Z'Hoy »

keyofgee wrote: Wed Jul 12, 2023 1:48 pm Jacking off might save u from
Prostate cancer.. so fire away.
That's what doctors want you to believe.

Do your own research.
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by VinnieVincentsVag »

Chip Z'Hoy wrote: Thu Jul 13, 2023 9:01 am
keyofgee wrote: Wed Jul 12, 2023 1:48 pm Jacking off might save u from
Prostate cancer.. so fire away.
That's what doctors want you to believe.

Do your own research.
Are you saying we shouldn’t follow Drs advice?
😜
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Re: Oldest person you've jacked of to?

Post by Newsted's FU Money »

exitflagger wrote: Thu Jul 13, 2023 7:08 am
Newsted's FU Money wrote: Wed Jul 12, 2023 8:23 pm Susanna Hoffs. 64 years of age and still jack-worthy.

Image
57. Yes, she has held up well but posting a 7 year old pic to show how youthful she currently looks is a little fake newsy.
My bad.

I did an image search for "Susannah Hoffs 2023" and this came up. What are ya gonna do?
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