Toys that looked cool but actually sucked

[Grendel]

[Turner Coates]

Here's a few:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veMiNQifZcM

[Olivia Sophia]

Spyrograph

[Bono Nettencourt]

[MotleyKaos]

[TooOldToCare]

[Engine13]

The Evel Knievel Stunt cycle has gotten a lot of llove lately because of the vids of middle aged men playing with them.
Those fucking things would fall on their side as soon as it left the ramp. You ended up wearing the knees out of your jeans crawling on the floor pushing it with your hand.

[Wild Obsession]

I have never seen the Hugo doll before, but I assume a windowless van with the promise of puppies and/or candy inside was an optional accessory?

[GoodJudge]

Those aren't "toys", they're "collectable action figures" goddammit.

[TooOldToCare]

I have never seen the Hugo doll before, but I assume a windowless van with the promise of puppies and/or candy inside was an optional accessory?

Right? I remember getting the Sears or Penney's "wishbook" close to Christmas as a kid and circling everything I want. This abomination was on my list though I never got it. And had I, I'm sure it would have been at the bottom of my toybox quickly. It's stupid and boring. Same with Stretch Armstrong. A silicone bodybuilder-like figure that you can stretch. Woowee...how amazing. Yet, I wanted that too.

[LeeRatbag]

The Evel Knievel Stunt cycle has gotten a lot of llove lately because of the vids of middle aged men playing with them.
Those fucking things would fall on their side as soon as it left the ramp. You ended up wearing the knees out of your jeans crawling on the floor pushing it with your hand.

Came in here to say exactly that.

[Bono Nettencourt]

I have never seen the Hugo doll before, but I assume a windowless van with the promise of puppies and/or candy inside was an optional accessory?

Right? I remember getting the Sears or Penney's "wishbook" close to Christmas as a kid and circling everything I want. This abomination was on my list though I never got it. And had I, I'm sure it would have been at the bottom of my toybox quickly. It's stupid and boring. Same with Stretch Armstrong. A silicone bodybuilder-like figure that you can stretch. Woowee...how amazing. Yet, I wanted that too.

I had Hugo. It was pretty sucky.

I did not have Stretch. One of my neighbors did. There was a limit to how far you could stretch him, btw.

[TooOldToCare]

I have never seen the Hugo doll before, but I assume a windowless van with the promise of puppies and/or candy inside was an optional accessory?

Right? I remember getting the Sears or Penney's "wishbook" close to Christmas as a kid and circling everything I want. This abomination was on my list though I never got it. And had I, I'm sure it would have been at the bottom of my toybox quickly. It's stupid and boring. Same with Stretch Armstrong. A silicone bodybuilder-like figure that you can stretch. Woowee...how amazing. Yet, I wanted that too.

I had Hugo. It was pretty sucky.

I did not have Stretch. One of my neighbors did. There was a limit to how far you could stretch him, btw.

And I'm sure whatever was inside Stretch was completely safe toxic ooze.

The best story I have about toys of that era was the Matel handheld sports games with the little red LED lines that represented players. My childhood best friend was convinced a box under the Christmas tree was the football game. He begged his authoritarian dad to open it early since he knew what it was at least 100x. His dad said if he asked one more time, he'd never get it. Being 10 yrs old, he asked one more time. So his dad threw it in the lit fireplace to burn up. My friend had a total meltdown, sobbing, laying on the floor kicking and screaming. Turned out to be a wrapped piece of 2x4 to teach him a lesson. I was dying. I wish we had video cameras or smartphones back then.

[Chip Z'Hoy]

I like this NoHo Hank doll.

[Beyotch_Knowles]

The Snoopy Snowcone machine never worked as easily as the commercials made it look. And my mom get tired of having to do the work so she threw it away.

I always wanted the Sit N Spin toy I saw on TV commercials, but my parents never bought me one. Did anyone else have one? Was it as easy as the commercials made it look?

[HueyRamone]

THEY MIGHT BE INSANE!

[HueyRamone]

Sucked!? CC Banana refused to live if he couldnt keep his!

[TooOldToCare]

I like this NoHo Hank doll.

The Barry doll and Old Fonzie will be available this Christmas.

[Mikky_Five]

Spyrograph

Wrong!

My sibs and I made some cool trippy shit with that shit.
I bet there's and AI out there that could create the same thing for half the effort and none of the fun, though. So maybe you're right.

[Grendel]

The Snoopy Snowcone machine never worked as easily as the commercials made it look. And my mom get tired of having to do the work so she threw it away.

I always wanted the Sit N Spin toy I saw on TV commercials, but my parents never bought me one. Did anyone else have one? Was it as easy as the commercials made it look?

Sit and Spin was awesome, I guess, because we(and I assume most other kids) would do it to see who could get the dizziest. Sort of like a beer bong for kids.