Are Your Best Days Behind You?

NeilC · Post by **NeilC** » Wed Jul 19, 2023 9:10 am

So I'm 50, never Married, no kids, had a great time in college but since then its like everyone went away! I get it. People move on with familes and jobs of their own, etc. With the way things are going in society, who says my best days have yet to arrive? Or, am I being totally unrealistic? What about you? How do you feel about your life, honestly? I know I am probably the minority in terms of never having a family of my own. I just don't want that kind of responsability. Then again, I hear having a family of your own is a wonderful thing. Or, at least that's what I think. I am open to any and all opinions. Thanks.

alleyrulez · Post by **alleyrulez** » Wed Jul 19, 2023 10:44 am

to answer the question - YES.

TooOldToCare · Post by **TooOldToCare** » Wed Jul 19, 2023 11:05 am

I think a version of my best days are behind me. I haven't figured out what my 50+ version is. I was a parent with kids in the house, sports, coaching, playing in a cover band, and a lot of other shit in my 30s and 40s. I enjoyed all of it. All of that is water under the bridge. I'm still working and still happily married, but I haven't yet figured out the next version of me.

TravisBicklesMohawk · Wed Jul 19, 2023 12:15 pm

No. There are numerous things on my Bucket List that have not been scratched off yet. So my best days haven't happened yet.

Charles Bukaki · Post by **Charles Bukaki** » Wed Jul 19, 2023 1:37 pm

NeilC wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 9:10 am So I'm 50, never Married, no kids, had a great time in college but since then its like everyone went away! I get it. People move on with familes and jobs of their own, etc. With the way things are going in society, who says my best days have yet to arrive? Or, am I being totally unrealistic? What about you? How do you feel about your life, honestly? I know I am probably the minority in terms of never having a family of my own. I just don't want that kind of responsability. Then again, I hear having a family of your own is a wonderful thing. Or, at least that's what I think. I am open to any and all opinions. Thanks.

Same here, 50, no kids, not married though I am in a relationship and will probably be getting married within a year or two. I don't feel like my best years are behind me, though that could be self delusion and wishful thinking. It wasn't until I hit my early 40's that I was able to get a handle on my depression and my drinking, and finally quit smoking cigarettes and weed for good. I'm in better shape than I have ever been and can genuinely say I've never been as happy as I am now. On the other hand, I know 60 is only a decade away and that's scary as fuck but I'm just trying to live my life and do things I enjoy, pretty much like I always have but I'm not stuck in the past (I hate nostalgia) or act like the "old guy at the club" or hit on women half my age (though they hit on me sometimes.) My girlfriend and I just bought a house with a pool, and room for my book collection and a pool table, I've been going to as many if not more shows than I did when I was in my 20's. I spend my free time organizing my library, building bookshelves, listening to music, playing pool and hanging ot with my girlfriend. Things aren't perfect, but I've got it pretty damn good, even if it did take me 5 decades to get here.

unclejoshc · Post by **unclejoshc** » Wed Jul 19, 2023 2:59 pm

Way long behind me. I am almost 51 alone with no hope of ever not being alone. I have some medical issues and am basically just waiting to die. I don't live, I exist. If compassionate ending of life was an option in this country I would consider it. As it is not, I go to bed praying every night to not wake up and am disappointed every morning I do.

But it is what it is. Just gotta keep going on until I drop.

GreatWhiteSnake · Post by **GreatWhiteSnake** » Wed Jul 19, 2023 3:45 pm

Way, way, wayyyy behind me...

VinnieVincentsVag · Post by **VinnieVincentsVag** » Wed Jul 19, 2023 3:50 pm

Probably.
An occasional day with no pain in my back would be nice.

Chip Z'Hoy · Post by **Chip Z'Hoy** » Wed Jul 19, 2023 5:02 pm

Nope! My teenage years were a drag and my 20's just plain sucked. Got on track in my 30's, now I'm doing okay. Not where I want to be but satisfaction is the death of desire. Hatebreed taught us that.

Beyotch_Knowles · Post by **Beyotch_Knowles** » Wed Jul 19, 2023 5:28 pm

Yes and no.

Starting at age 11, my life was sad. I couldn't go one day at school without someone calling me ugly or barking at me. Sometimes it happened in public, too. Hit and run insults from strangers. It went on up til my early 30s. I also developed a condition where my anxiety would make me pull out my hair. At the beginning of my freshman year at high school, I had a tiny bald spot at to top of the back of my head. (Thank God big hair and hairspray was popular in the late 80s). Also, at age 15, I kind of realized I was gay, but I couldn't say it out loud for more than 15 years.

As a result of all of the above, I developed severe social anxiety. After college, I moved back in with my parents (literally their basement) and I stayed until my late 20s. My mother became psychotic, and I was trying to support her, until I finally realized that the stuff she was saying wasn't true.

My 30s were a little better. I started off losing 80 pounds. Then I had plastic surgery on my face. I didn't become pretty, but at least the bullying from strangers stopped. In spite of these positive changes, my social anxiety didn't let up. I mainly sat on Sludge and made photoshops. My mom would call me for two hours at a time to complain about her health and try to convince me she was dying of AIDS. (She had been tested for AIDS several times, and all the tests were negative.). Then she started to believe that my dad (her husband) was trying to kill her. Back then, cell phone plans only allowed 300 minutes on weekdays between 9 and 8. She blew up my phone bill from $35 to $230 one month. I couldn't do anything but listen (or mute my phone and do chores); nothing I said would make her feel better or show her the truth.

Now I'm in my 40s. I started off the decade by leaving my steady job of 15 years because I felt like I needed a change. I've had four jobs since then, and was laid off twice. In my down time, I went back to school and got another degree. I like the job I have now. After 25 years, my mother's psychosis seems to have lifted. A few years ago, I started therapy to work on my social anxiety. Hopefully I can feel more like a normal human being in my last few decades.

Seems like my 50s can't be worse than the above. I will lose both my parents most likely. I try to stay healthy and focus on joy wherever I can find it (laughing with friends, hobbies).

HueyRamone · Post by **HueyRamone** » Wed Jul 19, 2023 5:57 pm

Yes, but it's more my mindset that i hope I can change. In fact, some people here have posted real problems that make me feel bad about bitching at all (I hope you feel better Uncle Josh C, and glad it's going better beyotch)

Maybe I'll snap out of it. Other people have real probs. Then again. I havent been invited to swim in Charles Bukkaki's pool, and that stings.

Chip Z'Hoy · Post by **Chip Z'Hoy** » Wed Jul 19, 2023 10:00 pm

Beyotch_Knowles wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 5:28 pm Yes and no.

Starting at age 11, my life was sad. I couldn't go one day at school without someone calling me ugly or barking at me. Sometimes it happened in public, too. Hit and run insults from strangers. It went on up til my early 30s. I also developed a condition where my anxiety would make me pull out my hair. At the beginning of my freshman year at high school, I had a tiny bald spot at to top of the back of my head. (Thank God big hair and hairspray was popular in the late 80s). Also, at age 15, I kind of realized I was gay, but I couldn't say it out loud for more than 15 years.

As a result of all of the above, I developed severe social anxiety. After college, I moved back in with my parents (literally their basement) and I stayed until my late 20s. My mother became psychotic, and I was trying to support her, until I finally realized that the stuff she was saying wasn't true.

My 30s were a little better. I started off losing 80 pounds. Then I had plastic surgery on my face. I didn't become pretty, but at least the bullying from strangers stopped. In spite of these positive changes, my social anxiety didn't let up. I mainly sat on Sludge and made photoshops. My mom would call me for two hours at a time to complain about her health and try to convince me she was dying of AIDS. (She had been tested for AIDS several times, and all the tests were negative.). Then she started to believe that my dad (her husband) was trying to kill her. Back then, cell phone plans only allowed 300 minutes on weekdays between 9 and 8. She blew up my phone bill from $35 to $230 one month. I couldn't do anything but listen (or mute my phone and do chores); nothing I said would make her feel better or show her the truth.

Now I'm in my 40s. I started off the decade by leaving my steady job of 15 years because I felt like I needed a change. I've had four jobs since then, and was laid off twice. In my down time, I went back to school and got another degree. I like the job I have now. After 25 years, my mother's psychosis seems to have lifted. A few years ago, I started therapy to work on my social anxiety. Hopefully I can feel more like a normal human being in my last few decades.

Seems like my 50s can't be worse than the above. I will lose both my parents most likely. I try to stay healthy and focus on joy wherever I can find it (laughing with friends, hobbies).

I'm sorry you went through all this. You seem cool as hell.

skinni · Post by **skinni** » Wed Jul 19, 2023 10:42 pm

No. I am so grateful that life has been perfect in all respects and continuously keeps improving.

LAglamrocker · Post by **LAglamrocker** » Thu Jul 20, 2023 12:13 am

I’ve never had a bad day that I can remember
Bad week probably never
Tomorrow going be brutal..going lounge around beach 5pm- then pack for Vegas 7 nights. That will make 29 Vegas days since Covid went away
Then August 2023 will be brutal

Al Bundy and Jason Seaver lived tortured lives
Having kids is a gamble - most kids will be future Only Fans stars or addicted to Only Fans and waste your money

Bono Nettencourt · Post by **Bono Nettencourt** » Thu Jul 20, 2023 2:10 am

HueyRamone wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 5:57 pm Yes, but it's more my mindset that i hope I can change. In fact, some people here have posted real problems that make me feel bad about bitching at all (I hope you feel better Uncle Josh C, and glad it's going better beyotch)

Maybe I'll snap out of it. Other people have real probs. Then again. I havent been invited to swim in Charles Bukkaki's pool, and that stings.

Actually swimming in a bukkaki pool would probably sting worse.

Charles Bukaki · Post by **Charles Bukaki** » Thu Jul 20, 2023 7:39 am

HueyRamone wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 5:57 pm Yes, but it's more my mindset that i hope I can change. In fact, some people here have posted real problems that make me feel bad about bitching at all (I hope you feel better Uncle Josh C, and glad it's going better beyotch)

Maybe I'll snap out of it. Other people have real probs. Then again. I havent been invited to swim in Charles Bukkaki's pool, and that stings.

If you're ever in San Antonio, hit me up.

Mojo · Post by **Mojo** » Thu Jul 20, 2023 8:20 am

I don't think so. I'll be 37 in October. I wasted my 20's and half of my 30's trying to remain in a state that I couldn't progress in. I moved, got a great job, and they're already trying to move me up the chain. I've got a house, three days off a week, and am absolutely loving having the woods, lakes, rivers, and mountains to play in. I've got some great trips planned, and making much better money than ever before, and things are looking up. It's us who decides our future and what we do in it. No reason to think the best days are behind us.

HueyRamone · Post by **HueyRamone** » Thu Jul 20, 2023 11:17 am

Charles Bukaki wrote: ↑Thu Jul 20, 2023 7:39 am
HueyRamone wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 5:57 pm Yes, but it's more my mindset that i hope I can change. In fact, some people here have posted real problems that make me feel bad about bitching at all (I hope you feel better Uncle Josh C, and glad it's going better beyotch)

Maybe I'll snap out of it. Other people have real probs. Then again. I havent been invited to swim in Charles Bukkaki's pool, and that stings.
If you're ever in San Antonio, hit me up.

Sweet!

LAglamrocker · Post by **LAglamrocker** » Thu Jul 20, 2023 1:14 pm

Big 37 in October in Arizona- that’s great!
Any party plans yet?

What Black Metal bands are booked this year? 37!!!!

Nate S Axel · Post by **Nate S Axel** » Thu Jul 20, 2023 1:41 pm

He's going to see Morgan Wallen tonight at Chase Field in Phoenix!

NeilC · Post by **NeilC** » Thu Jul 20, 2023 2:44 pm

Charles Bukaki wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 1:37 pm
NeilC wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 9:10 am So I'm 50, never Married, no kids, had a great time in college but since then its like everyone went away! I get it. People move on with familes and jobs of their own, etc. With the way things are going in society, who says my best days have yet to arrive? Or, am I being totally unrealistic? What about you? How do you feel about your life, honestly? I know I am probably the minority in terms of never having a family of my own. I just don't want that kind of responsability. Then again, I hear having a family of your own is a wonderful thing. Or, at least that's what I think. I am open to any and all opinions. Thanks.
Same here, 50, no kids, not married though I am in a relationship and will probably be getting married within a year or two. I don't feel like my best years are behind me, though that could be self delusion and wishful thinking. It wasn't until I hit my early 40's that I was able to get a handle on my depression and my drinking, and finally quit smoking cigarettes and weed for good. I'm in better shape than I have ever been and can genuinely say I've never been as happy as I am now. On the other hand, I know 60 is only a decade away and that's scary as fuck but I'm just trying to live my life and do things I enjoy, pretty much like I always have but I'm not stuck in the past (I hate nostalgia) or act like the "old guy at the club" or hit on women half my age (though they hit on me sometimes.) My girlfriend and I just bought a house with a pool, and room for my book collection and a pool table, I've been going to as many if not more shows than I did when I was in my 20's. I spend my free time organizing my library, building bookshelves, listening to music, playing pool and hanging ot with my girlfriend. Things aren't perfect, but I've got it pretty damn good, even if it did take me 5 decades to get here.

Thank you for sharing. Your life sounds really good compared to when you were going through your depressison and drinking, etc. I wish you nothing but success and enjoy your pool! Lucky! -Neil

NeilC · Post by **NeilC** » Thu Jul 20, 2023 2:47 pm

unclejoshc wrote: ↑Wed Jul 19, 2023 2:59 pm Way long behind me. I am almost 51 alone with no hope of ever not being alone. I have some medical issues and am basically just waiting to die. I don't live, I exist. If compassionate ending of life was an option in this country I would consider it. As it is not, I go to bed praying every night to not wake up and am disappointed every morning I do.

But it is what it is. Just gotta keep going on until I drop.

I just read your post. I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing. May I ask where or what state you live in? Are you sure you could never get into a relationship if you wanted to? Just wondering.

Neil

LAglamrocker · Post by **LAglamrocker** » Thu Jul 20, 2023 5:31 pm

Big 36! Glad life has turned around for you!
Go lasso hot young country gal tonight at Morgan!
After that epic failure of Metal Spooge !

Hellsinkey · Post by **Hellsinkey** » Fri Jul 21, 2023 8:50 am

I hope not. I'm doing fine work- and moneywise. And I'm in more bands than I've ever been. At 51.

Black Stuff · Post by **Black Stuff** » Fri Jul 21, 2023 12:22 pm

probably, im a friggin old geezer

Danzig in the Dark · Post by **Danzig in the Dark** » Fri Jul 21, 2023 4:18 pm

Sleek · Post by **Sleek** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 1:17 am

Man, I do not think so...this last year has been SO successful, with people coming out of the woodwork to have me work on projects, new friends made and I got in a tribute band that makes REWAL goddam money.

My side hustle that I developed during the covid shutdown, that of doing video, is going great!

I had a VERY cool female entanglement that popped up, seemed...like THE THING...then has fallen apart over the last few months that is a terrible disappointment...but every other aspect of my life seems like it is blessed and on the way to better things.

...which is a weird place to be for me. My life seemed really stagnant for a long time, and now I see a way forward to better things.

...just gotta sort out that girl thing.

cowpins · Post by **cowpins** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 3:29 am

Nah...have lived a fun life , but now time to live a real life. Turn 50 this year and am excited for what's next.

Bono Nettencourt · Post by **Bono Nettencourt** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 8:02 am

Sleek wrote: ↑Sat Jul 22, 2023 1:17 am Man, I do not think so...this last year has been SO successful, with people coming out of the woodwork to have me work on projects, new friends made and I got in a tribute band that makes REWAL goddam money.

My side hustle that I developed during the covid shutdown, that of doing video, is going great!

I had a VERY cool female entanglement that popped up, seemed...like THE THING...then has fallen apart over the last few months that is a terrible disappointment...but every other aspect of my life seems like it is blessed and on the way to better things.

...which is a weird place to be for me. My life seemed really stagnant for a long time, and now I see a way forward to better things.

...just gotta sort out that girl thing.

https://youtu.be/-aCxxnpPgDc

SchenkerFan · Post by **SchenkerFan** » Sat Jul 22, 2023 8:36 am

I developed some major health problems in 2020. I was hoping I'd bounce back but three years on it seems like things haven't improved that much. I have a good day every now and then but I have more bad than good days. At 34, that is pretty hard to take. I still have dreams and ambitions, but I've had to put all those things on hold. I'm still hoping things will get better but my recovery seems to have plateaued since last year.

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