Why it's good to be a conservative.

[KneelandBobDylan]

I've changed my mind, really.

It's good to be a conservative because......

Being a conservative means I can be selfish and not feel bad about it.

Being a conservative means all the problems of the world can be attributed to liberals.

Being a conservative means I never have to acknowledge flaws in my philosophy.

Being a conservative means anything a Democrat does is bad.

Being a conservative means any bad thing I do is either justified or the work of somebody who isn’t really a true conservative anyway.

Being a conservative means I root for failure when it punishes a liberal and reward failure if it is profitable for fellow conservatives.

Being a true conservative means I’m more worried about protecting a definition than I am protecting the rights of Americans.

Being a conservative means I never have to try to solve any problems in the government because I insist government is the problem anyway.

Being a conservative means I lay off workers to boost profits then complain about lazy unemployed people.

Being conservative means I am staunchly pro-life and will put a bullet through the eyes of any liberal who challenges that.

Being a conservative means I am furious my tax dollars aren’t being spent blowing up as many countries as I would like.

Being a conservative means you can blame problems on poor people instead of the rich ones who actually run things.

Being a conservative means believing in spite and fear instead of hope and change.

Being a conservative means sometimes people have to starve if it proves my point.

Being a conservative means Democratic presidents don’t count.

Being a conservative means a president shouldn’t pay attention to public opinion when he is doing what he believes is right for the country. (Strike all this if the president is a Democrat, in which case it is a treasonous act.)

Being a conservative means supporting the right to deny pre-existing conditions.

Being a conservative means someone else dying for your country is noble and patriotic, but my paying taxes for it is obscene.

Being a conservative means it’s okay if I do it because I am conservative.

Being a conservative means you get to yell your talking points and write in all caps, especially the word "liberal."

Being a conservative means pretending the Republican party was born the night Ronald Reagan was elected.

Being a conservative means putting your car in reverse, driving backwards through a bunch of weeds, and complaining that it isn’t the beautiful parkway you swear used to be there.

Being a conservative means knowing that everything that was bad up to 2006 was Bill Clinton’s fault; everything bad that happened from 2007 to 2009 was Nancy Pelosi’s fault, and everything after that is Barack Obama’s fault.

Being a conservative means having absurdly high standards for Democrats and pretty much the lowest standards for myself.

Being a conservative means criticizing the tiniest details of any Democratic plan, but talking in only huge generalities about my own plans.

Being a conservative means I can accuse Pres. Obama of being divisive because I didn’t vote for him and he won anyway.

Being a conservative means I can view all things I don't understand with contempt and not have to make the effort to change.

Being a conservative means I know I was right not to share my toys as a child.

Being a conservative means I am not a racist--black people are the real racists.

Being a conservative means the news I don't like hearing is just liberal propaganda.

[WhiteHouseSubsAC]

Come on, I expect better than cut&paste BS from you, hippie.

[KneelandBobDylan]

I still think it's funny.....and true.

[dtmfs]

Both parties suck balls, both are whiny pussies who do nothing but point the finger at the other like little bitches, and they both spread fear.

[bane]

Both parties suck balls, both are whiny pussies who do nothing but point the finger at the other like little bitches, and they both spread fear.

"Conservative" isn't a party dude. It's an ideology. There is no conservative party. The last time I checked there wasn't a box on my ballot that said "conservative".

ETA: otherwise, yeah, you're right. Both parties suck balls. Big hairy corporate balls.

[dtmfs]

The whole thing is pretty tiresome anymore, same old bickering and "We're better than them" bullshit. I liked when that idiot got caught red handed trying to pass as a tea party member at a rand paul event. After all those warnings that the tea party were racist and might be dangerous, fucking brilliant!!!

[Tommy2Tone84]

Both parties suck balls, both are whiny pussies who do nothing but point the finger at the other like little bitches, and they both spread fear.

That's what this country was founded on

[fatbass]

Both parties suck balls, both are whiny pussies who do nothing but point the finger at the other like little bitches, and they both spread fear.

...to prove your point:

It's good to be a liberal because......

Being a liberal means I can be generous with other peoples money and not feel bad about it.

Being a liberal means all the problems of the world can be attributed to conservatives.

Being a liberal means I never have to acknowledge flaws in my philosophy.

Being a liberal means anything a Republican does is bad.

Being a liberal means any bad thing I do is because there is no social program in place to stop it.

Being a liberal means I reward failure all the time.

Being a true liberal means I'm more worried about protecting you from yourself than I am protecting the rights of Americans.

Being a liberal means I never have to try to solve any problems in the government because I insist government is the answer regardless.

Being a liberal means I probably don't know how to make a profit.

Being liberal means I am staunchly pro-choice and will put a bullet through the eyes of any conservative who challenges that.

Being a liberal means I'm preoccupied with how much everyone else is paying in taxes.

And so on.....

This is exhausting.

[NickasInSaltLick]

Being a true liberal means I'm more worried about protecting you from yourself than I am protecting the rights of Americans.

Then how do you explain Utah? There's no bigger nanny state in this country and politically it's so red, it's maroon.

[SeminiferousButtNoid]

Come on, I expect better than cut&paste BS from you, hippie.

Really, he's always been a dum-dum. I would totally expect him to post some goofy internet chain mail crap like that.