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UnknownLegend
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by UnknownLegend »

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Last edited by UnknownLegend on Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by chickenona »

GODDAM I love it when I look at the index and yours is the last name to post on the Ho Board. It means this thread is at the top, where it belongs. You made this thread, baby.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by Funkychik02 »

This thread is quite educational.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by chickenona »

Come on, guys, this thread is way better than bariatric surgery.
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deathcurse wrote:The secret board you had with Itjogs. You talked about me obsessively on there. There were witnesses.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by chickenona »

Bumping this bitch again. Got no reason, what the heck.

Maybe later tonight I'll give you guys an account of my ill-fated foray into double penetration. It's not a pretty story. However, I don't have time to tell it right now.
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deathcurse wrote:The secret board you had with Itjogs. You talked about me obsessively on there. There were witnesses.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by SugarMama »

"I KNEW IT!!! I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!!" Jack shouted into the telephone.

"Dude, lower your voice. Your roommates will hear you yelling and wanna know what's up. I don't want EVERYONE knowing."

"See, well, that's where you're fucking up already. If I see it, other people see it, too. You guys don't even realize what you're giving away just being around each other. Yeah, I was looking for it, but man, if I see it, it ain't gonna be secret for long."

"What exactly did you see, Jack?"

"It was how you were looking at each other Saturday night at the club. The way she reached out and adjusted your shirt and her hand was on your shoulder just a touch too long. It wasn't just friendly, we've been best friends for a long time. It was more intimate than that. She looked at you the way I look at a chick I can't wait to get out of a bar and into bed."

"Fuck. So. Obvious?"

"Very obvious. Why do you care? It's fucking hot! Guys love that shit. Your whole social life is about to fucking change. Just watch. Guys are gonna be on you 2 like flies on shit. But you gotta tell me. How'd it happen?"

"How did we ....?"

"Yeah, the first time. How'd you 2 cross that line?"

It wasn't planned, that first time with Amy. Jack had been suggesting forever that the 2 of have sex. I chalked it up to one guys fantasy for a very long time and laughed away his suggestions and ideas.

I was 2 years older than Amy, had had several steady boyfriends, and more sex than I had any business having at just 19, really. I lost my virginity at 14 to a boyfriend who was a couple years older. When we broke up and I moved away, I went back to virginal life for a couple years. Then, at the age of 16, I met and started dating a man almost 10 years older than myself. We stayed together until I was 18, and I moved out of my house for 6 months after that. I also fucked any guy with long hair who looked at me twice. Eventually I would move home to clean up from my first run with coke and I shut down dating and men for a while. I needed to focus on me.

Amy and I met through my sister and became best friends almost instantly. We became very close very quickly. Shortly after we met, Amy dropped out of school and started working part time and any time neither one of us was working, we were together. Jack was a guitarist for a really good local band and became a close friend. He'd been suggesting for months that Amy and I "get together". I didn't get that vibe from her, though, so I just laughed it off. Then Amy met a guy who literally shattered her already fragile ego. Amy had been a fat little girl, and a chubby teenager. She lost about 40 pounds in the first year we were friends, and on the other side of that weight loss, a stunning young woman emerged. With long, dark, corkscrew curly hair, dark Italian olive skin, and stunning green eyes. She had a small, compact, body with just the right amount of curves between a size B bust and cute little hips. But even though there was all this beauty in her, she didn't see it. So when the guy who fucked her up came along, she was a sitting duck. He'd finally convinced her to go beyond her current sexual threshold of heavy petting and Amy gave her first blowjob.

"I wasn't even 5 minutes into it and he pushed me away!" she sobbed into the phone. "He said he was ...... " she paused, crying harder and mumbled something I didn't understand.

"What, Amy? What did he say?"

"He said he was disgusted. That I sucked." she sniffled "And not in the good way." she wailed.

"Sit tight. I"m on my way. Half an hour, tops."

I arrived on her doorstep with provisions. A pizza from Little Ceasars and 2 4 packs of wine coolers. As her mom left for a night out with her boyfriend, Amy and I sat in her living room, eating and drinking. Her mother patted us both on the head on her way out the door and said not to expect her until late. She made some sympathetic sounds when she hugged Amy goodnight. She didn't know what had happened, only that a boy had hurt her. We weren't divulging details.

A couple hours of drinking followed and eventually, we changed into what was sleeping uniform for us back then. Tshirt and panties. We climbed into bed, unsteady, but in better humor than we'd been and laid side by side. I leaned up on one elbow when she asked me how to get better at sex. I looked down at her. "Experience, babe. There aren't too many naturals out there. You just learn through experience with someone who loves you enough to teach you the right way. What he did was shitty, Amy, but the next guy? He won't be shitty. We'll make sure of that."

She started to cry again and talked about how unhappy she was. How she'd waited so long to do the exact thing she'd just been insulted for. She talked about how frustrated she was because she was finally ready to have sex, and she'd been considering having it with the dickhead. Amy had peppered me dozens of times with questions, but you all know, no question and answer session comes close to the real thing. You want someone else to make you feel what you've been making yourself feel. You want someone else to touch you and kiss you and then satisfy the itch that those touches and kisses bring out. As she talked about how frustrated she was, and really, to hear her talk, it was practically medical condition at this point, I was trying to comfort her. I swear, that's all I had in mind, comforting my broken-hearted best friend.

I tend to believe now that Amy had a plan at that point. Because it just happened so naturally, and of course, she'd heard enough of Jack's shit about her and I hooking up. My hand was on her stomach, almost patting it like one would pet a cat and she turned. I wasn't ready for it, and as she turned and adjusted her position, my hand landed on her breast. When I moved it, she put her hand over it. And kissed my cheek.

"I'm tired of being frustrated." she said quietly. And I suddenly realized what my virginal friend wanted. Someone she trusted to show her what sex was about. And at that moment, the only person in the world she trusted was me. It stuns me now to think of how easily she pulled herself to me, that she really did not seem to think about what we were doing, the possible ramifications, the title (no longer straight, but bi) it might bring her. I don't think she was thinking about anything at all. And after an initial hesitation, neither was I. I'd had light flirtations with women before, but had long known I was attracted to women as well as men. And I love how men feel, but when I licked the tip of one of Amy's breasts for the first time, and she arched under me and dug her sharp little nails into my shoulder, I was hooked. I liked how soft she was, and the sweet smell of her perfumed skin. That first night was really just alot of foreplay compared to what we'd get into later. But I did give her her first orgasm
( that she didn't give herself ) using just my fingers. I had no idea the girl would get as loud as she did. She came loudly, her hips bucking against my hand, one hand gripping the sheet, one hand tangled in my hair as she moaned "Oh God. Oh God. That feels so good" before clenching around my fingers.

I was having trouble breathing as she caught her breath. Oh. My. God. What had I just done? She was my best friend. I'd just seduced my best friend. What the fuck was I thinking? What if she hadn't wanted that? What if she'd just gotten caught up and wasn't comfortable being friends with me anymore? I really loved her and whereas I had been dying to try sex with another woman, I wasn't willing to risk my friendship with Amy. Not like this. Not this way. I was scared to death for the 5 minutes it took her to recover. I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling, silently berating myself in this inner monologue, and waiting to see what she was going to say.

So you can imagine my relief when she leaned up again on one elbow, looked down at me and whispered "I wanna do that to you. Can I do that? Can I make you feel how you just made me feel?" The curiosity in her voice was very cute. She wasn't really asking me. She was challenging herself. And she already had very definite ideas in mind. She already had plans forming for nights spent at her house in the next few months as Amy started examining sex. With me.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by SugarMama »

Eventually, a new guy who came along and as I said, wasn't an asshole. And whereas Amy liked taking it slow with him, and made both him and herself wait for months before she'd get sexually involved with him... only I knew why. She wasn't as frustrated as he was because there were nights with me to keep her sated.

Once we became comfortable with one activity, she'd decide she was ready for the next. The initial fingerplay reached it's crescendo the night we were driving down the highway, both of us in shorts and tshirts, taking turns fingerfucking each other as I drove. I can still picture her in the passenger seat with her hands wrapped around my wrist. I drove with my left, looked at the road often enough to make sure we didn't crash. But my right hand was down her shorts, rubbing her clit, and eventually sliding a couple of fingers inside her until she threw her head back and moaned loudly as she came. The windows were down, and her hair was blowing around her face. She looked just gorgeous in that moment. Then she decided to see how far she could get me before I had to pull off the road to let her finish me off before I crashed the car.

She learned early and fast how to tease, and she got high off that. She loved taking me to the brink and pulling back a little. She also loved to talk. That was a trait in her that blew me away. The first time she had her fingertips on my clit and asked me "You like that, don't you? You want more? Would you like my fingers inside you now?" was downright shocking to me. And she definitely loved making me answer her questions before giving me what I wanted. She liked it when she got me to the point that I had trouble talking back and she'd pretend to sigh and sit back and say "Well, you're not getting what you want if I don't know what you want." She liked power. I"d created a monster in that regard. And once she got a taste for eating me out, she took that addiction for teasing to whole new levels.

She liked surprising me, too. We didn't have sex every time we were together, nor every night we spent together. We never talked about it, either. I never knew in advance, so it got me in the habit of always being ready. I always showered before I saw her. That's something you let go of with your best friend, usually. You don't have to shower to hang out with them. But one afternoon I stopped by without calling in advance of it and she surprised me by jumping on me as soon as I sat on the bed. I remember being somewhat dazed by the pouncing and going "What the hell? What brought this on??"

Having told Jack that she and I had in fact started having sex, I knew I was opening myself up to what happened next. But I"d wanted Jack for so long, that I wasn't above tickling his curiosity to get him. I'd had bits and pieces of him, but never enough to satisfy me. He waited about a week after being confided in to call me one evening and ask what I was doing.

"Nothing. You?"

"Nothing. Where's Amy"?

"At her brothers'. She had to babysit this afternoon. I was gonna go pick her up and give her a ride home in a little bit, actually." I felt this was going somewhere. I was right.

"Yeah? Why don't you 2 stop by here? Can you wait to pick her up till after 8, maybe?"

I didn't have to ask. I"m not stupid. I called Amy as soon as I hung up.

"Hellllloooooooooo you." she said into the phone upon hearing my voice.

"Whatcha doin' tonite?"

"You're taking me home. That is the extent of my plans. Why?"

"You wanna make a fantasy come true?" It seemed like a line with a hook in it, yes. But it worked. When I told her of Jack's call, she chuckled low into the phone and said she'd wondered why it had taken him this long to ask us to stop by.

"So?" I said. "What do you think?"

"Pick me up at 8. Thank god I have clothes here .... "

As most people say, 3somes can be very awkward, and most of the time, they are. We'd been sitting in Jack's bedroom for over an hour, talking. It seemed like no one knew how to get this started and both Amy and I were more than a little nervous. Doing what we'd only done in private in front of someone else? This was new territory. We were both lost. Eventually it got to the point that Amy had to call her mom to let her know she was with me, and she'd be home, but she was going to be a little while. Yeah, we'd been there - DOING NOTHING - that long. As she hung up, I said I had better call home too. As I sat on the phone making my excuses, it seemed to finally dawn on Jack that something needed to happen and fast. We really didn't have all night. While I was talking, he pulled Amy closer to him and started kissing her. I'd had the pleasure of kissing Jack before. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought to suggest it. Jack's kisses were like liquor to an alcoholic. Dizzying. Intoxicating. They left me breathless. I was sure that would work. Unsure of what I should do, again - uncharted territory here, I sat on Jack's bed while they kissed. Jack finally stopped kissing Amy long enough to hold a hand out to me. I crossed the room and sat beside them both on the floor.

If it was awkward and stilted before, it all became very fluid after that. Jack leaned over to kiss me and as he had done before, pulled me shirt up over my head. We'd both raised up on our knees in this motion, and as he dropped my shirt behind me, he started kissing me again. I felt Amy behind me then. She unhooked my bra and kissed my shoulder and the spot on the back of my neck that makes me weak. Jack's hands fell to my breasts, and he followed that with his mouth. I leaned back against her and made contented, turned on noises. My hands reached behind me and I played with her hair.

Jack stopped to watch that for a minute or 2 and then pulled me down on the floor and sat next to me. Amy needed no coaching. Which is hysterical because she was the only virgin in the room, and yet, she was the one making all the moves at all the right moments. When she laid down between my legs, and her tongue hit my clit, I couldn't help myself. I moaned loudly and saw Jack glance at his door. But I"m a loud girl by nature and it's really hard for me to be quiet. Even now, it's no good to have me anywhere I can't make noise. My eyes were closed, so I felt, rather than saw Jack's hand come down over my mouth.

"Shhh, you have to be quiet. Unless you want more of an audience than you've got!"

I nodded that I understood and he moved his hand. And then Amy slid one of her fingers inside me while licking my clit and I fucked that up by moaning again.

"Jesus." Jack wailed in frustration and hit upon the idea to put his fingers in my mouth. I sucked on his fingers for a few minutes until he hit upon the bright idea of pulling out his cock. I adjusted my position a bit to accommodate him and continued sucking his cock while Amy finished eating me out. It didn't take him long to cum since he had the added inspiration of watching one girl eating another girl out in living color right in front of him. We'd hit our time limit by then anyway, since I had to have Amy home by the time she'd told her mother. She didn't complain about it, but she did mention that she had not gotten off, so I wasn't surprised when she said "Come in for a few." when I dropped her off. She stood with her back against her bedroom door as I knelt on the floor between her legs and told me she liked watching me suck Jack's cock. And that she was interested in seeing me do that again. "That's how I"m going to learn how to do it, I think. I'm going to watch you." she grinned at me. And that, my friends, is exactly how she learned how to give head. She watched me do it. She told me once not long ago during what is now a rare phone call that a guy remarked to her just how good she is at sucking dick. "I almost told him, you know?" I said "Told him what?" She chuckled into the phone and said "That he had you to thank for it!!!"

Eventually, we saw less of each other. I moved out of my parents house when I was stripping, and once my car died, I had a hell of a time getting around. We talked as often as we could and when I was leaving the state for good to move in with my then-boyfriend, now husband, she asked if I couldn't find a way to stop by before I left. A friend dropped me off at her place and we talked for a couple hours. We reminisced, laughing, crying ... and I can't say I was completely surprised when she led me to her bedroom. That was the last time, and it seems like a lifetime ago now. We still talk, mostly via email. And we love to recall the old times, the fun we had together. I've never had a closer friend, and I think I'd say that about her even if we'd never been sexually involved. I think you only get one friend like that in a lifetime. She was, and still is to some degree, my very best friend.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by UnknownLegend »

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Last edited by UnknownLegend on Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by Succubyss »

This may or may not be a true story.

It was the mid-nineties and she was pining away for the mid-eighties. “How can I have be having a mid-life crisis at 32”?, she thought to herself. “Shit. If this is mid-life, that means I’ll die at 64. I won’t even live long enough to get the goddamn social security I work my ass off for”.
This was the beginning of the daily litany of thoughts that had been playing in her head for the last few weeks as she drove to work. She had just changed jobs to take a 3rd shift warehouse position so she could be home with her kids during the day. Day care was expensive and money was tight. As a single mom of two, she felt like she was losing her identity “Goddamn it”, she kept thinking. “This isn’t how it was supposed to turn out!”

Not that she had much of an “identity” to begin with, nor did she ever have a plan for how things were supposed to turn out. There was no thinking about the future when she came up. LIVE IN THE NOW was her unspoken motto. There was no future in hair metal bands, long-haired guys and never ending parties. Which was fine with her. The only future she wanted was with a gorgeous guy on a motorcycle, preferably in a band with a never-ending supply of good quality coke. Doesn’t seem like much to want for in life, does it?

It wasn’t and she got exactly what she wished for. But someone had forgotten to tell her that part about wishing and getting. The outcome never really came up until AFTER the getting was had and by then, you’re usually fucked.

Or not, in this case. It had been weeks since she’d been out and longer since she’d gotten laid. She was seeing a guy, but he was so far removed from her “type” that she hadn’t even slept with him yet. He was her “hero”, in the sense that she thought he would be the one to save her from herself. A lifetime of the aforementioned hot guys on bikes with coke hadn’t exactly set her up for “happily ever after”. This new guy was conservative, good with money and above all, RESPONSIBLE. No motorcycle, no band…just a nice guy with a good job. And he was crazy about her. She could probably give him the blowjob of a lifetime and be set. “BLAH”, she thought as pulled into work. “I don’t even feel like kissing him, let alone blowing him. He’s fucking BORING!” But he was a “nice” guy and god knew she needed a little nice in her life.

Trudging up the stairs in the warehouse, she went to get her assignment for the night. Working 3rd shift wasn’t bad. It was dark and quiet and people mostly left her alone. At that time of night no one wanted be bothered, so she didn’t really know anyone. As she prepared for another boring night of wandering around, looking for parts to put in boxes, the team leader asked for everyone’s attention. “We’ve got a new employee starting tonight, so if he needs help, please let him know he can count on us”.

“Oh great” she thought as she looked up, expecting to see another middle-aged loser who couldn’t find a job in the light of day. Following that thought was “Holy fuck, who is THAT?” The team leader was introducing a young guy. Not only young, but he was SMOKIN’ HOT! “Are you fucking kidding me”, was all she could think. The new guy was tall and thin, maybe mid-twenties with long honey colored hair that she was watching him bind up in a pony-tail as he prepared to start work. He caught her staring and she turned away quickly, slightly embarrassed. It had been awhile since she’d seen something that good.

By the time break rolled around, she realized she didn’t know this guy’s name. After covertly watching him all night, she was intrigued. He hadn’t really talked to anyone all night. He moved with cat-like grace, smoothly pulling down boxes and placing them on the conveyors, his trim body betraying a sense of strength not readily apparent. He had caught her watching him a couple of times and stared directly back at her. Each time it had been her who had to break eye contact. But he didn’t smile or even seem that friendly. Bad boys playing hard to get were like ambrosia to her. It had been years since she had felt such a physical longing for a guy. She knew she had to have him. It was that simple.

She rushed downstairs for break, hoping to catch him in the lunch room, but he wasn’t there. She went outside, thinking maybe he was a smoker and sure enough, that’s where he was. But he didn’t congregate at the entrance with the other phlegm-hackers. He was at the end of the parking lot, crouched down on the balls of his feet, elbows resting on his thighs, as he smoked and looked out toward the drainage canal beyond the plant. As she looked at him she felt something so carnal and yet so gut wrenchingly sad that she couldn’t bring herself to walk over there.

As she walked back into the building, she was confused. This wasn’t exactly going the way she planned. The plan was simple – smile, say hi. Ask to go out for a drink after work. Get buzzed. Get laid. Maybe go out a few more times or not. Avoid each other if it was bad. The end. He wasn’t playing by the rules and she wasn’t sure what she should do next.

She went into the locker room to get her coffee and planned to stay there in the quiet coolness until it was time to get back to work. There were only a couple of other women on the shift and they usually slept in their cars during break. Sure enough, she had the place to herself. She got out her thermos and turned towards the sink, gasping as she saw another reflection in the mirror. It was HIM.

“Hey”, was all he said. His voice was low and smooth and he just stared into her eyes as he said it. “Jesus Christ, you scared the hell out of me”, was all she could nervously get out. She started to babble some inane introduction, floundering as moved towards her.

He closed the gap between them as she tried to remember her name. As he moved into her personal space she felt an unbearable heat emanating from him. She looked down and looked back up at his face, just as he reached an arm around the top of her shoulders, pulling her hair together in his hand. He placed his other hand around her waist and said, “You’ve been watching me”.

Her head was spinning. Part of her wanted to kick him in the balls and run out. Part of her wanted him to step back and PLAY BY THE RULES GODDAMMIT and part of her just wanted to melt like chocolate all over him and damn the rest of the world for existing.

There was no time to make any of those thoughts cohesive. He had already leaned down and tilted her head towards his. He was kissing her before she had time to do anything but kiss him back. He held her hair tightly as he pulled her towards him. Pulling back on her head while pulling her in closer at the waist, as he licked and kissed her mouth. She became breathless and broke away, staring up at him. “I, um, you, what’s…”, she was trying to get rational and all she could think in her head was, “FUCK ME!”

As she realized what she wanted, she also realized that she was going to get it, but not under her terms. She tried to lean in again for another kiss, but he pushed her away. Again, she was confused but he quickly turned her around and pushed her into the sink counter. She felt how hard he was, but his sense of control seemed separate from his cock’s urgency. She placed her hands on the counter, looked down and pushed backwards, into him. He pushed back but pulled her hair down, forcing her head up and she found herself looking into his eyes through the mirror.

He held the position, not allowing her to move, but he broke eye contact first this time to lean down and bite the back of her neck. Hard enough to leave a mark, but not hard enough to break the skin. Just as quickly, he looked back up and said, “Do you want this?” His voice broke when he asked and not from desire. He sounded pained, as if he HAD to fuck her or die. When she didn’t immediately answer, he tightened his grip on her hair and pulled her closer to him at the waist. “I can stop if you want me too”, he leaned over and whispered into her ear.

Her thoughts were swirling, her body was on fire. It was all she could do to moan and shake her head. She looked into her own eyes in the mirror and said, “Don’t stop”.

He used both hands to undo her jeans and push them halfway down her thighs, all the while watching her reflection. She hardly had time to register the cool air of the locker room against her bare skin when he pushed down his own jeans behind her. She was wet, but not ready for how fast he slid the full length of his cock inside her, but the gasp she made wasn’t just from surprise. She had never felt so completely full until he became a part of her in that moment.

He used one hand on the counter to steady himself as he pushed into her and his other hand stayed in her hair. She was on sensory overload and for the first time in her life, she came just from the constant penetration he drilled into her. As she came, his hand moved from her hair to cover her mouth and he pulled her head back into him. At the same time, she felt him shudder and thrust into her as far as he could. And then it was over.

He pulled out and pulled up his jeans. AS she was catching her breath, he reached around and pulled up her jeans as well, buttoning them and leaning into her. She looked up as he was reaching into his back pocket. He laid a piece of paper on the counter to her right.

“You’re amazing”, he said as he pulled away. He turned around and walked out of the locker room.

She ran her hands thru her hair, thinking, “What the fuck just happened?” The bell rang, signaling that it was time to go back to work as she picked up the paper. She opened it to find an email address. A seemingly random combination of numbers and letters, no name.
“This is not boring”, she thought as she headed back out into the warehouse to finish her shift.
"I always knew that deathcurse's downfall on sludge, when it came, would be a a huge ridiculous spectacle and I have not been disappointed.."
chickenona - 12/21/11
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by SugarMama »

There HAS to be more of that, Succ.


Seriously.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by uptheass »

chickenona wrote:Bumping this bitch again. Got no reason, what the heck.

Maybe later tonight I'll give you guys an account of my ill-fated foray into double penetration. It's not a pretty story. However, I don't have time to tell it right now.
its too bad your parents didnt think about what they were doing for even a second they just reproduced like dumb apes and now your here on earth being part of the problem


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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by SugarMama »

Part 1 of 3.

My only exception to my penchant for guitarists was a drummer. He was the drummer for a mid-level hair band. They'd had some videos on MTV and whereas they had a huge female following, they were largely a joke to guys. I'd read in Metal Edge that the drummer liked girls with big tits. It was like then I already knew he was sleazy and a womanizer and that made him an even bigger prize to me. I told Amy if the chance ever came with that one, I would not pass it by. If that band ever came through this state, we were there and I would find a way to meet him. "If anyone can do it, it's you." she mused. She believed me capable of pretty much anything I set my mind to. And she cosigned every last bit of my bullshit and never judged me for it. She used to like to say that we had about one moral between us, and it was usually on vacation. We shared men like we shared clothes.

Amy and I had a mutual friend who was possibly one of only a few men in the area who was a fan of this band. It was through him that we found out that the band was recording their newest CD in Florida. And I shit you not, you won't believe when I tell you this, but Amy lived a scant 2 blocks from the recording studio. Yes, really. I swear. When I found this out, I decided a stop must be made. I wanted to check it out. So on our way out one afternoon, we cruised by there and lo and behold, there were a couple girls we knew in the parking lot. I didn't figure on actually meeting anyone and since it was summer, I was bumming around in shorts and a tshirt and sneakers. You could have knocked me over with a feather when 2 guys in the band, though sadly not the one I wanted, walked out of the studio and came over and said hello. We stood and talked for a little while, and I was tickled to find they made conversation easy and seemed really likable. I heard a door slam shut behind me and turned, praying it wasn't him. I wasn't ready. Not like this. You know, of course, who it was. He came out, spoke to the other 2 guys, and turned on his heel and walked back inside. He hadn't looked at me at all. Fuck. Well, I thought, looking down at myself, of course not. THIS is not ho-ing material. I wouldn't make that mistake again.

The next time we stopped at the studio, we were on our way out for a night. I was dressed more properly in a tight red bodysuit that had a Vneck, but embroidered lace across the cleavage, red leggings, a black belt around my waist, and knee high black boots. Hair done, makeup on. As we stood there, right outside the door, again talking to that ONE GUY who liked the band, that door suddenly swung open and there he was. He greeted the guy and looked me directly in my eyes.

"Look who's all slutted up. Going out, I assume?"

"Slutted up? Really? That's your opening comment? Nice." I was burning with indignation. I was way more covered up than most girls are in the club. So what if it was so tight that I couldn't wear underwear?

He took a step closer to me "Oooh. Got a little temper. I like that in a woman."

"You're observant" I sassed back. "I guess that helps. At least you're smart enough to know a woman when she's standing in front of you."

He took one more step. He was so close, I could smell the mint from the gum he was chewing. "Ain't no doubt in that outfit." He was too close. I couldn't think straight. I needed a comeback. I opened my mouth to say something, anything. He asked "Ever seen the inside of a recording studio?" I replied that I couldn't say I had. He grabbed my arm and while walking my away from Amy and the door he'd just come out of, said over his shoulder "She'll be back in a minute." I glanced back at Amy and grinned when I saw her face. It said it all. She was more than a little proud of me.

He took me through a door and turned us to my right. No one was in this part of the studio. It was dark and I wondered aloud if it was ok for us to be in here. "Of course we can." he said as he tried a door and found it locked. He tried another. And another. I started doubting the outcome of this "tour". Then a door opened and he poked his head in. Finding the room empty, he swung the door open and gestured for me to go in. It was a small room, and had a small lamp on the desk burning. I stupidly wondered why the lamp had been left on. I turned around and took a step back, but he closed that space in one stride. His hands were on my arms and he pulled me close. He kissed me and kissed me roughly. I suddenly remembered everything I"d ever told Amy about this guy, and realized what I"d talked about happening actually was happening. I felt a sense of triumph at getting what I'd said I would. My hands ran up his back and into his hair. Poor thing. It was bleached to hell and gone.

"I want this off." he said, tugging on the lace of my bodysuit. "I wanna see your tits. I want those."

"Um, there's no way that's happening. It's a bodysuit, you can't get me out of it. Sorry."

"Wanna bet?"

"Um, ok. What do you wanna bet?"

"If I get to your tits, you blow me."

Such charming language. Suave he was not. I guess he relied largely on his looks and the fact that he was in a band.

"Fine. You can't use the snaps in the crotch, though. Find another way." That wasn't a problem. That had been his plan all along. He ran his hands over the bodysuit, and over my tits. I cursed my nipples for betraying me. I felt that I had the upper hand here. I was sure there was no way he was winning this one, and I liked that. Sure, he'd get his blowjob anyway, but I liked the ball being in my court. We got closer and started kissing again and he kept running his hands over the bodysuit, trying to find a way in. Then he pulled on the neckline by one shoulder of it and managed to pull it part way down my arm. He looked at me and grinned like the Cheshire cat. Fuck. I'd just lost, and I knew it. He pulled my arm out of my sleeve and repeated with my other shoulder and arm. It wasn't easy, it took some real tugging on his part and I'll admit, I didn't really help him. But he did eventually manage to pull the bodysuit down to my waist, bearing my breasts.

"Those are fucking awesome." he said appreciatively. He moved to the other side of the room and grabbed a rolling chair. He sat me in it and knelt on the floor between my knees and spent what seemed like forever playing with my tits. The rumor that he was a tit man was not a joke. This much he knew how to do well. As he sucked on and nibbled at my nipples, I sighed happily, getting more and more turned on. Eventually we switched places and he pulled his pants down. A bet is a bet and I'd lost. If nothing else, I never welch on a bet. Sucking his dick was not the most exciting experience of my life. He was pretty quiet, just moaning alot and occasionally saying "Oh yeah." when I got all of him into my mouth and partly into my throat. I remember him doing that one thing that all women hate. Pushing on my head. And I paused, looked up and said sweetly, "Are you enjoying this?" "Fuck yes!" he replied. "Good. Then no more pushing on my head. I know what I'm doing." He had incredible stamina in his corner too, and I was sure I was going to suffer lockjaw when his hips finally bucked and he came in my mouth. I swallowed and sat back on my heels while he caught his breath. He caught his breath and grinning again, pulled up his pants while I tucked myself back into my bodysuit and surveyed the damage done to it. The lace across the cleavage was just never the same after that.

He led me out of the studio, and back to the other door. Another member of the band was standing there, and as it turns out, was looking for him. He didn't look very surprised to see that he was with a woman. He just kind of shook his head, as if to say "Well, I knew that." His parting shot to me as Amy and I walked to my car was "Have fun tonite. Sorry 'bout that shirt." Yeah, I thought, sure you are.

After giving the, uh, blow by blow to Amy in the car, she said "Well, you said you'd have him. I didn't really doubt it, but it's still fairly cool to see that come true."

We were quiet for a while as I drove and then she said "You know what this makes you, right?"

I groaned. "A groupie."

"Nope. You are the blowjob queen."

And that's how I got that title. It's almost a shame how well I would go on to live up to that title.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by Succubyss »

Wow - he was real genius type, eh? Peel the bodysuit DOWN, how'd he ever think of THAT?

S (yea, I know -not being a zombie, you didn't want him for his brains)
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by chickenona »

FUCK YEAH!!!

Thanks, Sugar and Succubyss. Those kicked ass.

The thread rocks on!
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

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Succubyss wrote:Wow - he was real genius type, eh? Peel the bodysuit DOWN, how'd he ever think of THAT?

S (yea, I know -not being a zombie, you didn't want him for his brains)
He was lucky he was cute. Cuz yeah, I am actually amazed that he did think of that. I can't believe I actually went back for more with this guy. Well, more accurately, he came back for more, but I went along with it. Not alot of my conquests were blessed with both brains and looks. Lots of pretty, not so much smart.
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m
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

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*hugs chickie*
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Contest

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SugarMama wrote:I wondered in the back of my mind what this said about me. I'd just made out with and blown a guy in the band, and here I was, kissing his tech.
So I just read both stories and the first thing that comes to mind is... did you brush your teeth in between blowing the guitar player and making out with the tech?
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by chickenona »

[
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Post by chickenona »

Not bad, man. We needed an entry from a dominant to balance shit out here. As well, I personally get off on the lack of romance in this story, it fits the subject matter really well.

However, I would suggest busting it up into paragraphs to make it more readable here. Other than that, kickass.
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Post by chickenona »

MUCH better.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

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.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by ralphwiggumsdealer »

Let's see if I can do this without coming across as a total creep....


"So, where to?"

It had been a long day, and I was grumpy. Two morning science labs, and a fight with my girlfriend, topped off with eight hours of driving stiffs and scumbags around, and I was about ready to call it a night. One last fare, I figured, and then it was home to bed. Or, more likely, round two with the girlfriend.

"I don't care. I just have to get out of that place. The air conditioner doesn't work and the room stinks like an ashtray."

Stripper, I was thinking. I've picked them up from here before. Tuesday night so she probably just got into town. Eye contact and a small smile from me as she got into the front seat. Green eyes and dark hair, she was cute. And drunk. I could smell the whiskey as soon as she giggled "hi" at me.

"Can you drive around for a bit? I want to see the sights. This city looked so pretty when I flew over this afternoon. You could be my tour guide." Another giggle.

"Sure. You want to check out a beach? It's a nice drive when the sun is setting over the water." I wasn't really in the mood for a long fare, but the night had been slow, and I needed the cash.

"Mmmm. OK."

Easing the old Impala into the light late evening traffic, I made my way for the outskirts of downtown. She was chatty, which was fine with me. Listening is easy.

Driving along, playing her version of twenty questions, I found my mood lightening. Had to be her non-stop giggling, which was becoming somewhat infectious. I wasn't even bothered by the way she kept holding onto my right arm. Normally, I'd have put an end to it, but she was such a tiny little thing I wasn't worried about anything. And hey, maybe it'll help the tip.

We slowly made our way along the beach-side drive just as the sun was beginning to set. It's a view I've never gotten tired of. The snow on the mountain tops vibrant against the graying mountain sides. The sky above a brilliant blue, changing to orange and then red off on the horizon. Streaks of yellow and orange reflected on the outstretched bay.

"Mind if I smoke?" she asked, snapping me out of my momentary daydream.

"Feel free". I went back to admiring the scenery as she dug through her purse.

"You're so sweet" she giggled, again putting her hand on my arm. Hating the way I always blush at a compliment, I just gave her a small smile before looking back towards the road and out towards the water.

Click.

"Hey! What the fuck!" My right arm was handcuffed to the steering wheel.

Big eyes and bigger smile, she just laughed and said "Don't worry sweetie, I'm not going to rob you. I'm just going to keep you for a little while." Then, softly licking my ear "And I'm going to make you feel sooo good." And still with her hand holding onto my right arm. "Why don't you pull into that parking lot so we can watch the rest of this sunset."

I didn't like this. My adrenaline was pumping, with visions of a robbery or worse flashing through my brain. Of course, all the sun-worshippers were gone for the day. We had the place to ourselves. I shot her a look as I pulled into the deserted parking lot. Another giggle, and she began to nuzzle at my neck. "You're too tense baby. I want you to relax."

Pulling to a stop, I took a deep breath trying to play it cool. My left arm was still free, and anything funny and she'd be going face first into the dash board. "Look, I've got a girfriend...", I started to say.

She just laughed, lighting up a cigarette. She took a big drag, and then put it to my lips. "Sweetie, you can spend the rest of your life with your little girlfriend," she said as she gave me a hot wet kiss behind my ear, "and I promise no night with her will ever be as vivid as tonight will be with me".

And with that she slid under my handcuffed arm, giving me a soft squeeze. "This is why I wear button-flys" I thought, undoing my jeans. With no hesitation and little trouble, we'd managed to get my jeans and boxers down to my knees.

Now normally, when I'm sitting aroung with the boys telling this story, I describe what happened next as being a long, drawn-out affair. Epic, to say the least. I wish that were true. Fact is, I'd be surprised if I lasted thirty seconds from the time her lips first touched me. I know for a fact I hadn't yet finished the cigarette she'd given me.

She didn't seem to mind. Sliding up and under my arm, she sat with her knees on either side of my waist. "Aw, poor baby" she giggled, lightly touching my mouth. Closing my eyes, I reclined the seat back. She began undoing my shirt, giving my chest soft kisses as she went.

That's when I heard the second 'click'.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

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.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by SugarMama »

Not creepy at all, Ralph. I'm hoping the second click is a gun. :) I don't want anyone to die, per se. But fucking under duress? HOT.
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.
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Post by chickenona »

Hell yeah! GO RALPH!

This kicks so much ass. The guys are finally jumpin' in the pool with all us horny chicks. Two in one day! You all are makin' me and my boy proud.

IF THE THREAD IS ROCKIN', DON'T BOTHER KNOCKIN'!
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Post by chickenona »

Well, goddammit, Ralph, don't leave us hanging!

I hope your connection holds up for this. Are you still on dial-up, dude?
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I told you all, I really can't write fiction. Please go gentle, and I'll try to get Part 2 up soon....

You know that friend you're willing to do absolutely anything for? You know how they inevitably make you regret it? Lana getting hooked on the drummer for a thrash band was absurd in and of itself. It wasn't her kinda of music. She was into pretty boys with pouty lips. Not screamers who worshipped Satan. But hooked she'd gotten, and when she begged me to come along to one of his shows so she wouldn't be lonely... well, I won't say I was convinced because we were friends. She'd done me plenty of favors, too. So since she had some in currency in my emotional bank, I agreed to come along. I wasn't a fan of thrash metal, either, so I chalked this up to goodwill, and decided to simply grit my teeth and bear it. It was one night. How hard could it really be to get through?

So on that particular Friday night, I slid into a pair of snug fitting jeans, my favorite hooker heels, and a low cut tank. Figuring I'd play the part, I did my eyes a little darker than usual and added black eyeliner inside my eyes, finishing off the look with dark red lipstick. I really had no idea if this was de rigeur for thrash or not, but I liked the effect. My eyes looked huge and even brighter blue. I gave myself one last once over in the mirror and headed for the door at Lana's knock. She squealed with excitement and even though I tried to temper her fervor, it became infectious. Until we got to the club. It was in a not so great part of town, and the bouncer literally laughed when he looked at me. "Honey. Allow me to do you this much of a favor. Stay away from the stage in those shoes." he sneered. "I'll have you know these are Manolo's!" I spat indignantly. He laughed even harder. "I don't care what they are. They're gonna be the death of you if you get in the pit while the band is on. For your own good, steer clear, that's all."

Lana and I found a table near the stage, but not in front of it. A very bored looking waitress wandered over and I was laughed at for the second time when I requested an Appletini. "Where do you think you are? Fuck. I hate the valley chicks who decide to come slumming. What kind of BEER would you like?" I ordered a Budweiser, and Lana followed suit. Well. Now I"d been insulted twice inside of 10 minutes and the outlook for this particular evening was looking darker and darker.

Lana and I sat through two very loud opening bands, and I could not have told you whether they were any good. They were just LOUD. I was feeling the beginnings of a very bad headache coming on when I excused myself to go to the bathroom. Lana didn't want to move and lose our table, so she sat tight. I leaned against the sink in the bathroom, under a flickering fluorescent light and swore to my reflection that we didn't owe anyone this big. "As soon as this band is over, we haul ass home, and consider all favors repaid. What a joke this night is." I glanced at myself one more time and walked out. I swung the door a little harder than I"d meant to and nearly fell when I put my hand out to catch it. I toppled sideways into what I thought was a wall. Then the wall grew arms and a low voice said "Watch it. Maybe you should lay off early if you can't handle your beer." I turned, again growing indignant and said "I"m not drunk! I just lost my ...." and as I turned to spit some verbal venom in my rescuer's face, I lost my train of thought.

He had to be over 6 feet, and god I"m a sucker for men taller than me. I was lucky to be 5 foot 8 in these heels and he was still towering over me. His eyes were gorgeous and look at that mouth, I could kiss that mouth for hours .. what the fuck? What was I thinking? He was HERE. Ergo, not my kind. I pulled free a little roughly and repeated that I was not drunk, I'd just lost my balance. He looked down my feet and said "Lost it? I"m surprised you found it to start with in those things. Are you a glutton for punishment?" I whined "What is it with men in this club insulting my fucking shoes?" He grinned and said "Well, listen to the mouth on Miss Valley." Then I really lost it. "I am not from the valley! I live in Beverly Hills!" I screamed. He laughed really hard at that and I realized a second too late just how stupid it had been to shout that in this particular bar. "Well, Miss Hills, sorry about that. Try to stay on your feet, would you?" and walked away.

I found Lana and as I started to fill her in on my knight in busted denim, the lights started to lower. "This is it!" she clapped her hands together. "This is his band!!!" and I turned toward the stage. O.M.G. It was him! The guy from the bathroom, well, not the bathroom exactly, but NEVER MIND. He was standing onstage wearing a guitar. I was sitting to his right, just outside of the pit, and out of the way of danger. I had a clear view of him and from the second he struck that first note, I was surprised. I"d never paid any attention to thrash before. There was something in the way he stood on the stage. I found myself watching his fingers move up and down the neck with growing fascination. He suddenly looked in my direction during the second song and recognized me. I was stunned when he turned toward me and seemed to almost be playing to me. When the song finished, he tipped his head toward me and I couldn't help myself. I smiled and raised my beer in appreciation. He was just too damned good looking and an amazingly talented guitarist, whether I liked the music surrounding it or not. I had to give it to him, the boy had chops. I knew this was Mr. All Wrong, but I found myself watching nothing and no one but him. Lana poked me and said "Look at you two!" I screamed back in her ear "Look at what?", feigning innocence. "You two are so digging on each other. You should know, though, he has a girlfriend. His name is Ian. I'll introduce you after." I shrugged and said "So he has a girlfriend. Like I cared."

But deep down, I did so care. He was getting sexier and hotter by the note and I was having trouble remaining comfortable in my jeans. And the way he kept looking at me while he played, and in between songs was not helping me out at all. I was shredding the label on my beer bottle in total frustration. It was the longest half hour of my life. When the last song was finally done, Lana's newest boytoy joined us at our table and the 2 of them descended into practically fucking there on her barstool.

I was trying to look anywhere else, when I heard a voice in my ear "Well, Miss Hills, you survived what I assume is your first thrash show. Heels intact." I turned to find him standing behind me, cocky smile in place. "Yeah, I survived. Thanks." He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. "Sapphire, this is Ian. Ian, this is Sapphire." Lana said. He laughed again "My god. Did your parents not like you or something?" What was this, pick on the new chick night? I turned on my barstool to face him. "My mother decided to name me for my birthstone. Flighty, yes, but I like it. What kind of name is Ian, anyway?" He lowered his voice and said "The kind that actually sounds good when you scream it. The kind that sounds sexy as hell when I'm licking the inside of your thighs and you moan it through your lips." I couldn't breathe. I opened my mouth to say something, anything. I shut it again when nothing came out. I mean, really, what did you say to that? He moved closer to me and simply stared at me. I stared back. He crossed his arms across his chest and tilted his head to one side, as though he were trying to figure something out. "What?" was about all I could manage. He leaned over and said "Let's go." into my ear. I sat there for exactly as long as it took me to dig my keys out of my purse. I grabbed Lana's hand and put them in it. As I stood up, she came up for air long enough to try to ask me something. I turned and said "I"ll see you at my place later." and when he turned to walk away, I followed.
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Re: chickenona and Itjogs' Ho Board Porno Workshop

Post by Succubyss »

Wasn't that a scene from Heavy Metal?

S (I hope she shot herself out of shame, the filthy, stripping, stranger- sucking whore)

**edited to add that I was referring to ralph's submission
"I always knew that deathcurse's downfall on sludge, when it came, would be a a huge ridiculous spectacle and I have not been disappointed.."
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