HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
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HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Over the years, Sludge has been a veritable smorgasbord of tards - an all-you-can-ridicule buffet for the intellectually superior to pick from and play with. Clearly there's a new tard on the menu, and it goes by the name of HMJ and it looks like this:
Not since RockNRev stood on a pile of snow while leaning on a late 80's model minivan has such blatant douchebaggery been captured in a picture. I showed this picture to Bill Gazarri's headstone and the words "1986 was fuckin' great" appeared on it.
This thread is long overdue and should be used not only as a clearinghouse for all of the stupid shit that falls from his hairbrush clutching hands and onto the internet, but to make fun of his laughable existence in general.
Commence.
Not since RockNRev stood on a pile of snow while leaning on a late 80's model minivan has such blatant douchebaggery been captured in a picture. I showed this picture to Bill Gazarri's headstone and the words "1986 was fuckin' great" appeared on it.
This thread is long overdue and should be used not only as a clearinghouse for all of the stupid shit that falls from his hairbrush clutching hands and onto the internet, but to make fun of his laughable existence in general.
Commence.
tym wrote:She makes My air head 11 year old Girl look like Nikita Tesla.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
I didn't realize he was cycloptic..
That's one big ass eye...
That's one big ass eye...
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
His comments regarding Egypt were idiotic at an almost biblical level.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
He's a total fucking retardofaggot but I can't stay mad at him. He's like a pug or something, you get annoyed at it for eating out of the trash but then you think "Aww, give him a break, his brain is tiny" and start stroking him behind the ears.
canadianhavoc wrote:His comments regarding Egypt were idiotic at an almost biblical level.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Keep chickenona away from him, then.EvilRockPosh wrote:He's like a pug or something
Get it? She had a pug and shot it. In the head!
HeavyMetalZombie666 wrote:Any chicks on this board like Sean Connery or Roger Moore?
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
MurrayFiend wrote:Keep chickenona away from him, then.EvilRockPosh wrote:He's like a pug or something
Get it? She had a pug and shot it. In the head!
Seriously though, it would be kinda awesome if she shot HMJ through the skull after she's done murdering Deathcurse. I think we'd have to petition the mod to reinstate her account if she did that.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GACQzJewOBUMurrayFiend wrote:HMJ stands for 'Hear Mediocre Jokes'.
His music is much better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ey5jwWyHNh4
EZrocker wrote:I am not an "obsessive Jani Lane fan". I don't even own a Warrant album, and I have never seen Jani live. I think Uncle Tom's Cabin is a good tune, but otherwise I could give a shit.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
You confused me, quoting my post from another thread like that.
But yeah, "Get Her Pregnant" bangs. He has a future in the rap game.
But yeah, "Get Her Pregnant" bangs. He has a future in the rap game.
HeavyMetalZombie666 wrote:Any chicks on this board like Sean Connery or Roger Moore?
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
EvilRockPosh wrote:He's a total fucking retardofaggot but I can't stay mad at him. He's like a pug or something, you get annoyed at it for eating out of the trash but then you think "Aww, give him a break, his brain is tiny" and start stroking him behind the ears.
canadianhavoc wrote:His comments regarding Egypt were idiotic at an almost biblical level.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Hope Men Jackmeoff
HeavyMetalZombie666 wrote:Any chicks on this board like Sean Connery or Roger Moore?
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Double at those last two posts.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
That pic he took in his bathroom mirror reminds me of Tattooed Lyin'.
"Moving on, is a simple thing...what it leaves behind is hard. You know the sleeping feel no more pain...and the living are all scarred." -- Megadeth's "A Tout Le Monde"
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Satan posted a funny photoshop of him marching with a guitar or something that I don't feel like searching for.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Captain Morgan wrote:
For some reason, the fact that his pants match his towels EXACTLY cracks me the fuck up.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
I knew he looked familiar...
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Here's HMJ missing the point of the discussion in the Subway thread:
Keep in mind that he wrote this in the What's in Yer Fridge? thread:bane wrote:Discussing the merits of a fast food joint isn't the same thing as saying those are your only options. Just sayin'. I avoid fast food for the most part, but come on. Everybody breaks down and hits a drive thru from time to time.HMJ wrote:I love how people act like their only meal options are their fast food restaurant options. Go to a fucking grocery store.
So I guess when he shops for groceries, he doesn't get anything perishable.HMJ wrote:Don't have one. I live day to day on a daily food budget of $10.
It gives me something to look forward to.
sirrloin wrote: There is a difference between show tunes appreciation and musical theater. If you don't know the difference, you're not very educated.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
LMGDAO!!!!Endless Yodel wrote: Keep in mind that he wrote this in the What's in Yer Fridge? thread:
HMJ wrote:Don't have one. I live day to day on a daily food budget of $10.
It gives me something to look forward to.
Seriously? This tool says he doesn't have a fridge?
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Maybe he lives on the pizza his band is paid for performing.Son_of_Sam_I_Am wrote:LMGDAO!!!!Endless Yodel wrote: Keep in mind that he wrote this in the What's in Yer Fridge? thread:
HMJ wrote:Don't have one. I live day to day on a daily food budget of $10.
It gives me something to look forward to.
Seriously? This tool says he doesn't have a fridge?
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Apparently. I was shocked when I read that. Is his landlord too cheap to spring for one?? It's hardly a luxury item like a dishwasher. I'm imagining HMJ living in a rat trap with a hot plate and Murphy bed and community bathroom. Not having a refrigerator precludes the health-conscious sort from stocking up on things like fresh produce and soy milk.Son_of_Sam_I_Am wrote:LMGDAO!!!!Endless Yodel wrote: Keep in mind that he wrote this in the What's in Yer Fridge? thread:
HMJ wrote:Don't have one. I live day to day on a daily food budget of $10.
It gives me something to look forward to.
Seriously? This tool says he doesn't have a fridge?
sirrloin wrote: There is a difference between show tunes appreciation and musical theater. If you don't know the difference, you're not very educated.
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Butthurt much?HMJ wrote: I know, ain't that grand? It only took me a few glances of shit like "Motorhead sucks, Lemmy can't sing" and "Jellyfish need to reunite!!!" before I said fuck asking this board for musican opinions. I come here to make fun of old people and occasionally find a new band.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
What the fuck's with his hair? I just want to scream, "DEEP CONDITIONING TREATMENT!" at him.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
I appreciate HMJ's attempt at humor, really.
However, when whoever is in the audience replies "No." that means that someone is in fact there. A sole speech balloon extending from HMJ's mouth with the words "Is anybody out there? Anybody? Hello..." would've packed far more comedic punch. Helping him right along, I am.HMJ wrote:
sirrloin wrote: There is a difference between show tunes appreciation and musical theater. If you don't know the difference, you're not very educated.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Kristi Vicious wrote:What the fuck's with his hair? I just want to scream, "DEEP CONDITIONING TREATMENT!" at him.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
The effect of semen on hair seems to be overstated.Kristi Vicious wrote:What the fuck's with his hair? I just want to scream, "DEEP CONDITIONING TREATMENT!" at him.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
Well, all I know is that it seems to work for my hair.
Wait..what?
Wait..what?
Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
thewonkytits wrote:
Has he ever explained what's going on in that clip? Who thought that was a good idea HMJ? You understand that makes you look like the biggest fucking dolt ever to take stage?
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Atomicpunk18 wrote:You see Black Crowes music has gotten me laid multiple times.
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Re: HMJ: Lord of The Mongs
I'm pretty sure he is the biggest fucking dolt to ever take the stage.