Is there any stage name more cringeworthy than Rob Zombie?

[dmbrocker]

“Rob” is the cringeworthy part. I mean are you in, or are you out?

Don’t you see?? ‘Rob’ and ‘Zombie’ don’t work TOGETHER. Not to mention it’s just plain lazy.

Igor Skullcrusher and Tom Angelripper, anyone?

Tom G. Warrior?

[HoldenSSV]

Joey Ramone
Johnny Ramone
Dee Dee Ramone
Tommy Ramone
Marky Ramone

(Fuck Huey)

[DemonFilth2001]

Taime Downe

Brent Muscat

[Charles Bukaki]

That guy in The Band Who Shall Not Be Named. Blank 'Sex' Something.

[Love_Industry]

[quote=HoldenSSV post_id=7800020 time=1728858729

Sid Vicious (Fuck you, it's dumb)

Fuck you! Greatest rock name ever!

I prefer Simon Ferocious. So did Freddie Mercury. Which itself is as cringe as Mick Mars unless he was born Frederick Mercurius....

[SW]

Brent Muscat

His real name.

Damn you are a retard.

[Wednesday 13 Fan]

Then why do the other members have writing credits on every song.

They do not, actually.

So they DO have writing credits on every song, then?

Still a no.

[TravisBicklesMohawk]

Nikki Sixx.

Cannot believe Motley has not been mentioned yet. Maybe they have and I just didn't notice it.

Marilyn Manson.

[Spongie]

Marilyn Manson.

Excellent call out.

So far, the cringeworthy names are Blackie Lawless, Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson.

All others listed in this thread are cool stage names.

[Love_Industry]

Hell, Paul Stanley sounds as dumb and nerdy as Stanley Eisen (just less Jewish). Same for Gene. If I were picking names for my newborn, Paul and Gene are nowhere on the list. They sound like Grandpa names - my Grandpas were Earl and Walter. Old time.

Gene's is actually a bit clever. It's a reference to actress Jean Simmons who was popular when he was growing up in the 1950s and 60s, and he wrote a song around the title of her best known movie. Great Expectations off Destroyer.

And Stan's original last name is Eisenhandler - his grandparents still used it so it must have been his dad who changed it. Just like Ace's dad changed Friebely to Frehley....

[Love_Industry]

Stixx Galore

His bandmate (who posts here?) is mostly known as Zinny J. Zan but also releases solo records under the name Stagman. Guess he is trying to be funny as it is his real last name and sounds quite normal if pronounced in Swedish. But before Easy Action he played drums (!) in another band also called Easy Action using the absolutely rubbish stage name.... Bosse Belsen.

Continuing with obscure Stockholm bands, Treblinka which later became Tiamat consisted of Lucifer Hellslaughter, Juck the Ripper, Najse Auschwitzer and Emetic.

[Wednesday 13 Fan]

Amir Derakh (I'm here to rock!)
Perry Farrell (A play on the word "peripheral")
Sid Vicious (Fuck you, it's dumb)

Freddie Mercury called Sid "Simon Ferocious" which is hilarious if you get English slang.

[Tommy]

Not music but JB Smoove is a terrible stage name. Shit, how can I forget Vin Diesel?

[Love_Industry]

Just remembered that John Norum called himself Johnny Fastf**ker when he played with a guy named Errol Nordstedt but using the stage name.... Eddie Meduza. Fuck that. Eddie fucking Meduza for the win. Followed by Mr. Fastfucker.

[GoodJudge]

Let's face it, Rikki Rockett is something a 5-year-old would come up with.

Also, almost all the guys in Wrathchild (UK), except Rocky Shades, which is a great stage name, and Gaz Wilde which is just boring. From Wiki:

Current members
Rocky Shades (Rob Barclay) - vocals (1980-1990, 2023–present)
Oz Paul - guitars (2023–present)
Jonny Suicide - bass (2023–present)
Gaz Wilde (Gary Hunt) - drums (2023–present)

Past members
Brian "Thunderburst" Parry - drums (1980-1981)
Phil Wrathchild (Phil Vokins) - guitars, backing vocals (1980-1981, 2005–2013)
Marc Angel (Stanley Wood) - bass, backing vocals (1980-1990, 2005–2013)
Lance Rocket (Lance Perkins) - guitars, backing vocals (1981-1990)
Eddie Starr (Edward Smith) - drums (1981-1990, 2005–2013)
Gaz Psychowrath (Gary Harris) - vocals (2005-2013)

‐----------

No alternate given for Jonny Suicide so maybe that's his real name?

[Love_Industry]

No alternate given for Jonny Suicide so maybe that's his real name?

His brother Nasty was in Hanoi Rocks BITD.

[HueyRamone]

Let's face it, Rikki Rockett is something a 5-year-old would come up with.

Also, almost all the guys in Wrathchild (UK), except Rocky Shades, which is a great stage name, and Gaz Wilde which is just boring. From Wiki:

Current members
Rocky Shades (Rob Barclay) - vocals (1980-1990, 2023–present)
Oz Paul - guitars (2023–present)
Jonny Suicide - bass (2023–present)
Gaz Wilde (Gary Hunt) - drums (2023–present)

Past members
Brian "Thunderburst" Parry - drums (1980-1981)
Phil Wrathchild (Phil Vokins) - guitars, backing vocals (1980-1981, 2005–2013)
Marc Angel (Stanley Wood) - bass, backing vocals (1980-1990, 2005–2013)
Lance Rocket (Lance Perkins) - guitars, backing vocals (1981-1990)
Eddie Starr (Edward Smith) - drums (1981-1990, 2005–2013)
Gaz Psychowrath (Gary Harris) - vocals (2005-2013)

‐----------

No alternate given for Jonny Suicide so maybe that's his real name?

I quite liked all the names of the original Wraffchild. You know what they looked like, they couldnt have names any less OTT than the image!

[TooOldToCare]

Mandingo
Peter North
Johnny Sins
Dredd


Not cringy at all.

[thechefs2003]

Another vote for Jizzy Pearl. Also adding Johnny Rod to the list....

[mullet_head]

I'll tell you who needed a stage name: Chester Bennington.

It's not even a good name to make a dinner reservation, let alone to front what was one of the biggest bands in the world.

If I owned a restaurant and some guy tried to make a reservation in name of Chester Bennington, I'd tell him to fuck off and hang up the phone.

Stupid-a facking name, like Furio Giunta once said.

Kiddie Diddler Bennington would've been an improvement.

[Love_Industry]

Can't let this thread end on such a "high note".

Swedish Erotica, a local Gothenburg band that got signed to Virgin (!!) and released two albums in the early 90s had some cringy stage names.

BC Strike - drums (Bjarne Johansson)
Johnny D'Foxx - bass (Jonas Tångström)
Magnus Axx - guitar (Magnus Axelsson)
Morgan LeFay - guitar (Morgan Jensen)
Matt S. Leven - vocals (Mats Levén, Candlemass/Treat/Vandenberg/ just about every Swedish hard rock band)

If that wasn't bad enough, Leven left and was replaced on the second album by ... Anders Möller.
Seems he didn't get the memo about stage names....Anders Möller sounds like an accountant. Or car mechanic.

[SW]

Anders Möller sounds like an accountant. Or car mechanic.

Andreas Möller was one of the best german footballers back in the 90's.

[HueyRamone]

Arent there some Scandanavian metal bands that have badass norse sounding given names to us english speakers that they eschew for corny stage names?

Like their real name is sounds all viking, like Olaf Odinsson, and they go by Ollie Heavy, shit like that.

[Indy_Rob]

The rap world has some super-shitty stage names.

Da Baby has to be one of the worst.

[HueyRamone]

The rap world has some super-shitty stage names.

Da Baby has to be one of the worst.

The Lil Jon, Lil Wayne stuff is odd. Like I thought Rap was mostly about being loaded with money, bragging about cars and women, etc. Why give yourself a diminutive name?

[Spongie]

Steve-O

[Danzig in the Dark]

The rap world has some super-shitty stage names.

Da Baby has to be one of the worst.

Shorty Shitstain.

[aznsquirt]

Came here to post a bunch of names that people covered.

Honestly, reading this thread, Rob Zombie seems like one of the least cringey names.

How about Kip Winger and Reb Beach. Wait a minute.

[Neil Diamond Dave]

Thunderstick.

My 10 year old self might have named an imaginary super hero that.

[Hair I Go Again]

If I owned a restaurant and some guy tried to make a reservation in name of Chester Bennington, I'd tell him to fuck off and hang up the phone.

That legitimately made me laugh. Thanks!