Down to Earth: "A VERY slight improvement on Ozzmosis." That's what I thought yesterday morning, when I was listening to it, but now I don't really remember much of it. Go up to the biggest Ozzy fan you know and ask them to sing "Black Illusion" for you. It won't happen. If Ozzmosis was a sedative, this one's a straight-up roofie. But not without its charms: I've always really liked "Imagine," I mean "Dreamer," but I'm a sucka for those big sappy Ozzy ballads, especially now. In the spirit of generosity, I guess I'll also give it up for "That I Never Had." Would've been filler on NMT; now it's a standout.
Under Cover:

I didn't hate every second--most of the seconds though. The only thing close to salvageable is maybe "21st Century Schizoid Man" and I didn't entirely hate his version of "In My Life," even though he sings in that annoying "nyah" voice that he does on the entire album. Every else is just flabbergasting in its awfulness. The kind of album you put on at a party to fuck with people.
Black Rain: I remember liking this album when it came out, but as with most other post-Tears Ozzy records, didn't listen to it more than a couple times. This one has the rep of being his all-time worst but I think it's another very slight improvement. Nothing that really stood out either way--no hidden classic but no "OH SHIT, THIS SUCKS" either. Also, opening the album with TWO "I am Ozzy, and even though I'm old, I still enjoy rocking" songs. Impressive.
Scream: Remember when this album was called Soul Sucka? At this point, he was super-duper phoning it in but it's about on par with Black Rain. A little boost of energy with Gus G on board. I don't remember liking "Let Me Hear You Scream" at the time (disco metal); now I think it's alright. Dumb fun, which he'd been lacking for a while. I really liked "Fearless." More dumb fun, that stomping riff.
Summary: This is the decade where Shazz would say "O-zay, we need a new record to promote the tour" and Ozz would say "No one buys the fuckin' things, man!" and four months later, there'd be a half-baked Ozzy album.
I'll get around to the last two when I feel like it! Thanks for riding with me!!!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL.